


The Foundling

by jedi_fish81



Series: The Foundling [2]
Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2018-12-05 18:00:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 73,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11583327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jedi_fish81/pseuds/jedi_fish81
Summary: Two years post Battle of Yavin an Empire Strikes Back alternative universe.  This is a multi-chapter fic updated as each is written. As with anything, I own nothing, characters and settings are all licensed to Lucasfilm and associated entities.





	1. Corellia

Han had been surprised when Leia had taken him up on the offer to take her to the Hardwood Forest Region of Corellia for the R&R that General Rieekan had insisted she take to recover after she’d been shot by that bounty hunter on Ord Mantell. The bounty hunter who hand tracked them to fulfill Han's death note from Jabba. Han had decided that after this short vacation, he'd finally leave to take care of it. He couldn't risk her safety any longer. The incident on Ord Mantell had almost killed her, and he wouldn't let that happen again.

Leia had been working for two years solid since the Battle of Yavin and after Ord Mantell, Rieekan had decided it was time for a break he had enlisted Solo to make sure she took one. He liked the smuggler and knew that Han cared for the Princess enough to take the responsibility seriously. Rieekan wasn't sure he approved of the way that Han looked at the princess, but he trusted him with her and he knew that Han would make sure she was well taken care of during her stay on Corellia.

“Now.” Han spoke shutting down the Falcon completely. Something that Leia had never seen him do. “My job is to make sure you actually get some R&R. Your General Rieekan said so.”

Leia rolled her eyes. “You can’t order someone to relax.” She got up.

“Listen your highness, once you see this place you won’t need orders.” He spoke following her out of the cockpit.

“Your smuggler’s hideout? Sure Han, I’m sure it’s lovely just like the Falcon.” She spoke bitterly. “I don’t know why we couldn’t have rented some place.”

“Trust me.” He spoke gathering their luggage onto his shoulders.

“I wish Chewie were here.” She sighed.

“What? You don’t trust me without my furry chaperone?” He smiled at her.

“It’s not that, I like the idea of him being here just in case we have to get away quick.” She spoke looking around at the primitive open are touch port.

“It was time for him to visit his mate Leia, he’d been gone too long this time.” Han spoke in such a gentle way that Leia didn’t offer a rebuttal.

She nodded and watched him load their bags in a ratty old landspeeder. “You sure that’s going to run?”

“Positive.” He drawled taking a distributor cap out of a locked bulkhead and installing it under the hood. “Try it.” He winked at her. She started the speeder and it roared to life on the first try and he slammed the hood confidently. He smiled hopping in. She shook her head and turned away from him so he wouldn’t see her smile as they sped away deep into the forest.

Leia wandered around the small but well appointed manual cabin that served as Han’s hideout. She was impressed, it was spartan but clean and had an oddly warm feel to it. She looked closer at the walls and could see the shadows where holographs had once hung. She’d seen Han quickly clear away a pile of what looked like children’s blocks as if he didn’t want her to see them and it was clear that a woman had lived here at some point. It had never occurred to her that Han may have had a family before he became a smuggler. She ran her hand along the burled wood counter tops in the kitchen, they were lovely with iridescent resin inlays. Whoever’d built this place had put a lot of care and work into it.

“I set you up in the extra room, you’ll have to excuse the paint the previous resident was decidedly younger.” He scrubbed the back of his head nervously. “Never expected to have anyone else sleep in there.” He cleared his throat. “The bed’s kinda small but I think you’ll manage. Um… you want a tour?”

“Sure.”

Leia followed him around the small house and listened intently as he rattled off the details of the way the stones were laid for the fireplace and the way the inlay was created in the burled surfaces. She could tell he loved this place by the care in which he explained every detail. She watched him gesture with his hands as if he were recounting how he created each detail. She noted that he ran his fingertips along the surfaces with the care and intimacy of an old lover. Like the memories there gave him life and she watch him shift, watched a mask start to falter and break away from his features. She watched as ultra-masculine Captain Han Solo began to soften around the edges.

“Han?” She spoke quietly as she followed him down the hall to the sleeping quarters and he pointed out the bathing tub on the way. “Did you build this place yourself?”

He nodded. “Used to live here full time.”

“It’s really quite lovely.”  


“Thanks.” He spoke opening the door to the extra bedroom. “Again, sorry about the paint.”

“Oh, Han powder pink? It’s the bedroom of a fairy princess.” She laughed.

He cleared his throat and automatically the shields that had finally begun to fall shot right back up into place once again. “Yeah well, you could sleep on the couch.”

Leia sighed realizing she'd hurt him. “Han…”

“Do what you want your worship.” He turned and stormed off.

“I um… I thought I’d go to the marketplace tomorrow.” Han broke the silence of a ration dinner that evening.

Leia nodded.

“You know, get some real food.” He spoke more to his dinner than he did to her. “I’m a pretty decent cook…”

“Han.” She cut him off.

He looked at her with those big hazel eyes and she knew why Chewie called him cub, he looked like a puppy sometimes.

“I’m sorry.”

He shrugged. “We’re fine Princess.” He lied and got up excusing himself and heading out onto the deck.

Leia retired early and curled up in what was obviously a child’s sleeping couch, she’d had one like it when she was much younger on Alderaan. She was sure Han had once had a family and by his moodiness she was almost positive they were dead. She wondered if that life event had been that had pushed him into the life he led now. She’d read his file, he’d been an Imperial and well decorated. He’d gone from active duty to reserve and then after several years went AWOL and the record ended there. She’d never asked and he’d never offered. Two years they’d known each other and he knew more about her than any other living soul, even Luke. As she lie there in the moonlight she realized she knew almost nothing about him before he was Han Solo the Captain of the Millennium Falcon.

Leia walked with Han through the market, he seemed on edge and even more hyper vigilant than he normally was. He kept a hand on his blaster and a hand in the small of her back keeping her close. She stopped to look at some local trinkets while he picked out some seasonal vegetables, if he hadn’t been giving her the silent treatment she could have almost believed that they were in a comfortable relationship.

She watched a group of street kids beg for credits using a toddler as a prop. She locked eyes with the little girl, she couldn’t have been more than two. She had huge brown eyes so much like her own and she almost seemed to hum like an ion like a pulse.

“Leia.” Han spoke, he sounded so far away and she could barely hear him over the little girl’s force presence? “Hey.” He grabbed her arm gently.

"Han." Her voice caught in her throat as she looked into his eyes. “Those children over there.” She looked around him. “Do… do they have parents?”

He looked over his shoulder. “Probably not.”

“But that little girl Han, she’s just a baby.”

“Yeah, that’s the reality of your little war sweetheart… orphans.” He spoke darkly trying to pull her into motion.

“But I can feel her.” Leia spoke rooted to the spot.

“What do you want to do huh? Take her home and raise her yourself?” He joked bitterly.

She looked at him. “Han, she’s a baby, the rest of those kids are old enough to make it but you know what will happen to her. And if I can feel her, if the Imperials find her…”

“Leia, we can’t just take her.”

“But Han, she feels… she feels like me.”

“What in the hells do you want me to do about it Leia?”

“I don’t know.”

He sighed. “Go to the speeder.”

“Han...”

“Leia.” He sighed handed her their shopping. “Just go and never ask me about this again. I’ll be right there.”

Leia sat in the speeder fuming. " Who the hell did he think the was talking to me like that? And why in the hell did I just let him? Asshole. He’s been an asshole since the moment we got here. Arrogant so kriffing arrogant." She fumed hunting around in the compartments of the speeder and found a pack of cigarettes. "Fine, I’ll smoke his cigarettes then. Culo de caballos." She muttered in Moccoan as she lit up and took a long drag she didn’t smoke often but it helped when she did.

She wiped her eyes when her tears fell without her permission. That poor child, that poor force sensitive child. Gods, she could still feel her and her presence was getting stronger and stronger threatening to drive her out of her mind as she waited on Han to return. Her stomach burned and she chewed on an already ragged cuticle like she had since she was just a child.

“Hey.” Han spoke quietly tearing her out of her thoughts a few minutes later.

“What?" She spoke through gritted teeth feeling the child's presence so strongly now she wanted to crawl out of her skin.

“You want to help me here?” He spoke, his tone gentle and even.

She looked at him with the child from the marketplace in his arms. “Han?”

“I told you, not to ask.” He spoke handing her over. He’d eventually tell Leia that’d he’d fully stocked the other kids with a bunch of non-perishable food and warm clothes in return for the baby. They'd found her after a skirmish several weeks before and were using her for sympathy so Han sweetened the deal with spiced whiskey and cigarettes.

“What’s her name?” Leia spoke watching her sleep in the powder pink bedroom of Han’s hideout.

He shrugged. “Kids had been calling her Kira. Who knows what her real name is, it’s not like she came with all of her filmsies.”

She nodded. “So, I assume you had a child?” She gestured to the crated he’d brought down from the attic.

He nodded. “A daughter, Fane. She and my wife Sulen were killed in that marketplace. She was about the kid’s age back then.” He spoke quietly. “Suicide bomber.”

“Imperial?”

He shook his head. “No Leia, a Rebel.”

His words hit her like a punch to the gut, a Rebel had killed his family and still, he had sacrificed so much for her and for the cause that meant so much to her. She hand always wondered why she had related to him on such a basic level, she knew now. She'd lost her home and everyone she'd ever loved, and so had Han. “I’m sorry.” She spoke quietly knowing that her words would never be enough to make up for his loss, but it was the only thing she could think to say. 

“I’ll work for you.” His voice shook. “But I ain’t ever enlisting. I just can’t do it Lei.”

“I’ll never ask again.” She looked up at him with a new sense of understanding, looking into the eyes of this new Han Solo, a man vastly different than the one she'd met on the Death Star. She'd seen glimpses of him before, usually at night after on of her night terrors, but she liked seeing him now in the light, open and vulnerable, hers.

He slipped his arm around her and pressed his lips against her forehead.

“So what’s the plan sweetheart?” Han spoke rounding the bantha leather sofa and handing her a glass of wine from the stash of Aldera he kept for her on the Falcon.

“I have no idea.” Leia spoke watching him sit down next to her.

“Do you know anything about raising a child?” He looked down the hall where Kira slept n Fane’s room, in Fane’s bed wearing Fane’s footy pajamas… the soft powder blue ones with the doggy in the flight suit. He cleared his throat and looked at Leia trying to focus on what she was saying.

“Hmm mmm.” She spoke sipping her wine. “I never wanted children Han. I spent most of my own childhood afraid that my parents were going to give me back or try to marry me off to some fancy, vapid prince.”

“I figured fancy, vapid princes were your sort of thing.” He half shrugged and raised his eyebrows, just thankful for a joke he could use to put up his smuggler Han Solo mask and cover his husband and father Han Solo face that Leia didn’t know yet. He figured it was best to just stay the course for a little longer and keep the mask on.

She slapped his shoulder. “Really? After two years and all of our late night talks when I couldn't get back to sleep and that’s what you think of me?”

“Hey.” He rubbed his arm still not quite back to himself. “Easy your highness, I bruise.”

She smiled at him. “No, the last thing I want is some jackass who doesn’t know how to handle himself in a fire fight, because that’s what you’re going to get with me… a fire fight.”

He nodded and watched her watch the fire she’d hand built in the fireplace. “Where’d you learn to do that.” He gestured vaguely.

“I used to run away a lot and hide in the woods. After the last time my papa decided to let me spend summers out there. So, I taught myself how to fend for myself in the wild.”

“That’s why you’re such a good shot.”

She nodded.

“Why’d you run away so much? Figured you had pretty easy as a princess.”

“I’m not good at the princess part, Senator sure, mercenary, spy? Yeah, princess?” She shook her head. “I’m just not polished enough. It’s like I can’t sit still for too long.”

He eyed her picking at her thumb as she spoke and reached over lacing her fingers with his. “You’re hard on your hands.”

She nodded. “It helps.”

“Helps with what?” He set down his wine and took her hand in both of his.

“Sometimes I just feel so… I don’t know, like I’m made of this big ball of tangled wire and it pokes and it heats up and burns. And I can feel things, people, emotions…”

“Like Kira?”

She nodded. “And sometimes it’s all just too much.”

He took her wine out of her hand and set it down. “You know, I’m pretty good in a fire fight.” He spoke gently turning back to her. “And I ain’t no vapid prince.” He spoke cupping her face. He watched her close her eyes and lean into his hand as he stroked her cheek with his thumb.

“But you’re leaving.” She spoke thickly. “Remember?”

“Yeah, I don’t want to.” He spoke quietly letting the mask fall just a bit. "The way you say it... Leia, you say it like I want to leave. Like I'm looking for a good reason." He sighed. "I don't want to leave. I'd stay right here, forever if I could."

She opened her eyes and met his gaze. “Then stay Han.”

"I can't." He sighed pressing his forehead against hers. “That bounty hunter almost killed you.”

“And I have an execute only order on my head just like you do.” She shrugged.

“Leia.” He sat back. “My wife and daughter were killed five years ago because I wasn’t there to protect them.”

“If you’d been there you’d have been killed with them.” She spoke examining the callouses on his hands.

“I’ve seen it. I’m a pretty vigilant guy.”

“Yeah, now.” She sat up. "You're a pretty vigilant guy now."

He shook his head dismissively. “Leia, Listen to me.” He stroked her cheek. “I can’t take any chances with this. I can’t keep putting you at risk. I can’t go through that again.”

“What if we neutralize the Hutts on Tatooine, no syndicate, no debt, no bounty.”

He sighed. “You want to start a war with the Hutts?”

“We’re at war with everyone else.”

He shook his head. “Lei…”

She took his hand in both of hers. “I’ll go with you, as a representative of the Rebel Alliance and…”

“He’ll have you dressed in an iron bikini and strapped to his throne.” He sat back against the sofa.

She sighed.

“Lei?”

She looked at him, looked into those deep hazel puppy-dog eyes. He looked so vulnerable and so open. Gods, he looked like he loved her.

“Can we just have now? Can we stop talking about me leaving and have some time without everything else?”

She shook her head. “It’s going to hurt.”

“Leia.” He spoke spoke gently. “Sometimes life hurts.” He pulled her into his arms. “But sometimes if you let it, life can feel really good.” He kissed her temple. “Can we just have some good?”

Gods, he felt so good. She had difficulty thinking when he was this close.

“Come on Leia, you can let yourself have a little good. All the bad you’ve had, you deserve a little good.” He kissed her cheek. "We both deserve some good."

She looked at him. “Okay hotshot.”

He smiled at her.

“But, I’m not just going to go to bed with you.”

“No.” He kissed the bridge of her nose. “Of course not your highnessness.” He kissed her lightly at first. “Thought I’d at least make you dinner first.” He joked letting the kiss deepen.

She slipped her fingers into his hair and felt him sigh across her cheek. She didn’t stop him when his hands searched, his rough fingertips slipping under the hem of her shirt. “Easy.” She breathed as he grazed the bandage on her side.

“Sorry.” He murmured devouring her neck and removing his hands from under her shirt. He pulled back and looked at her. “You need to heal up more first.”

She nodded catching her breath.

He sat back. “Did I hurt you?”

“I’m okay.” She sat up.

He looked at his hands, they were great for building things and fixing the Falcon, but every part of him was so much bigger than she was was and his biggest fear was hurting her. He knew the reality of what she’d probably gone through on the Death Star and he knew that they’d need to talk about that or he’d at least need to know what not to do, what not to say before things could progress past this point.

Leia kissed his temple and got up.

“Where are you going?”

“She’s awake.”

Han got up and followed her. “Is she okay? Did she have a nightmare?”

“She’s okay as far as I can tell, she’s just awake.”

“You think she’s hungry?”

“I’m hungry.”

“Me too.” He kissed her temple. “Guess I’ll start dinner.”

“You did say you’d make me dinner first.” Leia spoke raising an eyebrow at him.

He kissed her gently and watched her disappear down the hall.

He could get used to having her here. Maybe after the war was over or at least after things quieted down, they could come back here and raise Kira like he and Sulen had planned to raise Fane. They were near enough to Coruscant that Leia could commute if she needed to, he’d get her a real nice Hopper.

He sighed running his fingers through his hair. He had to figure out this Jabba thing, he should have just stayed here and dealt with his loss instead of running off to the outer rim, he should have never started smuggling, but he’d have never met Leia and the kid and they wouldn’t be here in this moment right now. Leia’d probably be dead if he hadn’t been in that Cantina.

He shook his head and turned on some soft music on his way to the kitchen, hoping to drown out any clattering or loud noises he might make while cooking. He checked the fire and for a moment he could see Sulen dancing with Fane in her arms. She smiled at him and in an instant she was gone. When he looked again he saw Leia and Kira in their place, and suddenly being here didn’t hurt so bad.

“What are you two up to?” He asked picking out some of the uniquely Corellian vegetables and spices he’d found at the market that morning.

“We thought we’d watch the chef.” Leia spoke sitting down at the eat-in bar.

He smiled and Kira smiled back at him.

“She likes you.” Leia spoke. “I can feel it, it’s like a warm breeze.”

She is smiling at me.

Leia kissed her temple.

“Has she spoken yet?” Han asked quietly.

She nodded.

“No, I mean from here.” He touched his lips.”

“No, not yet, but I also don’t know what language she speaks. I mean we’ve been speaking Basic and we found her here on Corellia and Kira is an Alderaani name.”

“She looks like you.”

“I’m adopted.”

“Yeah but you’re Alderaani.”

“I don’t know, I'm a foundling Han. My papa came back from some off planet Senate thing and brought home a baby. I don’t know where he was and I don’t know if I was born where he was or who my parents were.”

“Moccoan Basic right? Isn’t that the native language of Alderaan?”

“It was, there weren’t many of us that still spoke it or were Moccoan Alderaani.”

“The royal family was I’ve heard your father speak, he has an accent.”

She nodded. “My mother rarely spoke Basic outside the home, even though speaking Moccoan was looked down upon by the elite, classes she refused to conform.”

“So when she speaks to you up here.” He touched his temple. “Is it in Basic?”

She shook her head. “So far... it’s just feelings, it’s not speech.”

He nodded. “He kiddo.” He spoke catching her eye and held up his finger she tracked it with her eyes. “Well that’s good.”

Leia nodded watching.

He pointed to Leia. “Mama.”

Kira looked at him and he nodded solemnly. “Mama.” He pointed at her again.

(Mumma.)

Leia gasped.

“Did she say it?”

She nodded.

Kira pointed at Han. (Daddy.)

Leia looked at her and then at Han.

“What?”

“Han, she called you daddy.”

He smiled and pointed at Leia.

(Mumma.)

“Mumma.” Leia spoke for her. “She said 'mumma', that’s Inner Rim High Galactic Basic. Diplomats say 'mumma', I said 'mumma'.”

He smiled. “Can you say it from here?” He tapped her lips gently and then pointed to Leia.

“Mumma.” Kira whispered so low he almost missed it.

He nodded and pointed to himself.

“Daddy.”

He smiled and pointed to his nose.

“Nose.”

And he pointed to her.

“Kira.”

He laughed. “So very good Princess.”

She smiled and buried her face in Leia’s neck. Han reached out and stroked her baby fine hair.

“What happens when we get back to the fleet?” Han spoke as they watched Kira play with Fane’s toys on the lounge rug.

Leia shook her head sipping her wine. “I don’t know Han.”

“I guess if it’s really a big deal I could take her and bring her back here.” He offered.

“I couldn’t do that to you.”

“I’m her daddy, remember?”

“Han, I’m sorry. I should have said something to her.”

He smiled at her. “Kira.” He spoke leaning down on his knees.

She looked at him and he pointed to his chest. “Who am I?”

“Daddy.” She got up and walked over to him. “Up.” She commanded.

He smiled and picked her up. “Are you my little Princess?”

“Uh huh?” She nodded.

He hugged her close and smiled at Leia. “I’m going to enjoy this right now because when she’s a teenager she’ll fucking hate us. Right now, we’re her safe harbor.”

Leia curled up with them and closed her eyes.

Leia felt Han get back into bed as the sky purpled before dawn. She moved onto her back and looked at him in the soft light. She could hear rain falling on the durasteel roof and the canopy around them.

“Did I wake you?”

She nodded. “The rain’s nice though.”

He propped himself up on his elbow and looked at her in the shadows cast from the window and the predawn storm. Her eyes were soft and sleepy, warm and inviting and had lost their normal steeliness. She was beautiful, so impossibly beautiful as she lie there in the bed that he once shared with his wife. He knew how awkward it must have been for her. This girl that wasn't his, but that he knew he loved. He watched her shiver a little. “Are you cold?”

She shook her head. She was on fire if she were honest, every place that his body touched her burned. “What?” She spoke watching his eyes.

“You’re beautiful.”

She laughed. “No, no I’m not.”

“Yeah, yeah you are.” He reached out and moved some loose hairs behind her ears.

“You should have seen my sister, she was beautiful.”

“Oh yeah? Did she have your big brown eyes?”

“No, they were blue.”

He shook his head. “No, see I like your big brown eyes. They're like caff or well aged whiskey or chocolate. And they're deep, like I could get lost in there if I’m not careful.” He stroked her cheek gently. “Princess, you have the eyes of a fawn and the balls of a rancor.”

She smiled at him. “You don’t have to flatter me Han, I’m already in your bed.”

“Well, I did make you dinner, just like I promised.” He kissed her forehead.

She laughed.

“So everybody thought your sister was the pretty one, huh?”

Leia nodded sitting up to put some distance between his body and hers. “She was tall and blond.”

Han shook his head. “So she didn’t have all this dark hair?”

“No.”

“Nope, I don't buy it. There's no way she was the pretty one.” He took her hand and marveled at it, she wasn’t sure why.

“I think you’re biased.”

“And why would I be biased?” He looked up at her with those big hazel eyes, they were green now.

“Because I think you want to go to bed with me.”

“I do, but I’ve always thought you were beautiful. I may have wanted to stuff you back in your cell when were on the Death Star, but Gods, I sure thought you were pretty.”

Leia felt her stomach tighten and her whole body flush. “Should I be sleeping on the sofa?”

“Do you want to sleep on the sofa?” He kissed her fingers gently.

She shook her head.

“And I think you want the same thing.”

Leia cleared her throat and looked at her lap. She focused on the rain as her pounding heart threatened to drown everything else out. “Han.” She started quietly. “I don’t know if I’m ready for that just yet.”

He nodded. “We’d talk first Leia, I know you’ve been through a lot and um. We’d have to talk about it first.”

She nodded.

“But not here, not in bed. That’s an in-the-proper-clothes sort of conversation.”

She dipped her chin and smiled at him, he was right in an odd sort of way she did want to be properly dressed for that.

He moved back onto his back and patted his chest gently. “Come back to bed your highness.”

She lie back down with him laying her head against the warmth of his bare shoulder and her hand over his heart feeling his arm wrap around her gently, protectively not possessively. He felt her sigh as her breathing deepened and slowed, he knew she felt safe like this, in his arms.

They'd slept like this for years on the Falcon after her nightmares had driven her out of her quarters on base and into his bunk. He still felt like an ass for putting her in Fane's bed that first night, but he just didn't know how to reconcile having her sleep in his marriage bed. This, this felt right and he knew somehow that Sulen would understand. He kissed her forehead gently and let himself relax, gods he wanted wished he could stay for her and for Kira.

“Sure rains a lot here.” Leia spoke out on the deck enjoying the smell of the rain and the moss and the lichen. All of the wonderful deep forest smells that she’d missed since the destruction of Alderaan.

“It’s a temperate rain forest.” Han spoke stepping out onto the deck.

“I know.” She smiled at him as he joined her at the railing. “It reminds me of home.”

“I thought it might, that’s why brought you here.” He spoke leaning back next to her and watching Kira play in Fane’s play pin.

“Had you been to Alderaan?” She moved to look at him.

He nodded. “Used to pick up wine from Aldera and make drops.”

“Drugs?”

He nodded drinking his caff. “I’m not proud of that.”

“Then I should thank you.” She turned around to watch Kira.

He looked at her.

“I had no idea that you were the drug runner keeping me in grass and black market narcos.”

He stared into his cup of caff. “How are you doing with all that now?”

“Fine.”

He slipped his arm around her. “You know, you can talk about that if you need to.”

“I’m okay.”

He nodded.

“Just don’t ever shoot me full of anything stronger than aceto.”

He nodded. “And you can drink okay?”

She nodded. “Just no narcos. I’m okay with grass too.”

“I’ll get rid of anything I have on the Falcon.” He spoke stroking her upper arm absently.

“Thanks.” She reseted her head against him.

“Any other scandalous royal secrets you need to tell me?”

“Hmm, let’s see. Foundling, drug problem, cuticle destruction…” She listed her past off on her fingers.

“And you don't think that you’re pretty.” He kissed the top of her head.

She shook her head. “Oh, oh! How could I forget, the big one.”

“The big one?”

“Yeah." She broke his embrace and patted him down until she found his cigarettes. “You’ll love this.” She spoke reaching into his pocket and retrieving his crumpled pack of cigarettes.

He cleared his throat as she lit up. “I did quite enjoy that.” He chucked. “Wanna put ‘em back in?”

She laughed her big laugh and moving to lean on the railing next to him once again. “You wish, nerf herder.”

“I do, I really do.” He spoke taking the pack from her and lighting up. “I wish you’d go easy on my smokes too, your highness.”

She made a face at him and he pulled her close against his side. “What’s the big secret Organa.”

“I’m not a virgin.”

“No!” He gasped comically. “Scandalous.”

She laughed.

“Well, I mean you are in your twenties.”

“And you’re kind, I haven’t been with anyone since Alderaan was destroyed.”

“You and Luke never?”

Leia laughed so hard she stepped forward out of his comfortable embrace. “Are you serious?”

“Well yeah, I mean he’s a nice kid. You’re about the same age. You pal around a lot, I just assumed…”

“Han I couldn’t, he’s like a little brother to me.” She laughed. “Oh my gods, this entire time you thought that Luke and I… Oh Han, why didn’t you just ask me?”

He shrugged finishing his cigarette feeling a little foolish.

“If I were interested in Luke I wouldn’t be sneaking onto your ship and crawling into your bunk when I have my night terrors.”

He nodded considering. “So if he’s like your little brother, does that mean I’m your big brother?”

She bit her bottom lip and shook her head as she closed the distance between the two of them. “No, you are something very different than a big brother Han.” She put out her cigarette and slipped her arms around his neck. “You are certainly not my big brother.”

Han set his caff on the railing and slipped his arms around her pulling her close against him.

She looked up into his eyes and dropped one of her hands to press it against his chest. She could feel his heart pounding. “Remember how you said we need to just enjoy now?”

He nodded feeling her fingers stroke the hair at the base of his neck. He hadn’t even kissed her yet and he was already having to focus his breathing to keep his body in check.

“I think we need to have that talk soon.” She kissed his chin.

“No time like the present.”

Han stood safely behind the eat-in bar in the kitchen keeping physical distance from her, but leaning close to remind her he was there.

“It’s not a long list.” She spoke stirring her second cup of caff.

He shrugged. “Still need to know Lei, even if it takes us another six months, I need to know.”

She nodded picking at the bandage on her thumb.

He waited patiently because pushing or rushing wouldn’t help anything.

Leia found the designs on the countertop, the iridescent resin in the burls and she traced them with her fingers, they gave her something to look at when she couldn’t look at him. This was something that she didn’t want to remember when she looked into his eyes. “Don’t spit on your hand.”

Han nodded and didn’t speak, he figured it was best not to let her hear his voice.

“Don’t tell me I like something, don’t ever grab my head. Well, I mean if I ever blow you.”

He nodded making a mental list.

“Don’t hold my wrists, don’t cover my mouth, don’t call me a whore.”

He nodded.

“And for gods sakes don’t come in my hair. Do you know how many stormtroopers…” She stopped.

He shook his head staring at the counter top. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“I wish me and the kid had gotten there sooner.”

She shrugged. “So, you lived on the streets, do you have anything like that?”

“Well, you’re not a man, so no not really. Keep your hands off my neck, don’t choke me, don’t call me boy, I sure as hell don't like to be restrained and yeah, don’t come in my hair, I hate that too. It’s dehumanizing.”

She smiled at him. “Sometimes I think about cutting off my hair.”

“It’s none of my business but I’d be fine with that.”

She nodded.

"You okay?” He took her hand in both of his.

“Yeah." She looked up into his eyes. "What about you Han, are you okay?”

He nodded.


	2. Of Wives and Lovers

“Well.” Han sighed several days later as he changed the dressing on Leia’s blaster wound. “You’re healing nicely.”

“Shoot me again, I’m not ready to leave.” She spoke flatly.

“I wasn’t implying that.” He looked up at her as he smoothed the fresh bandage over her side. “Kira needs more time.”

Leia smiled at him as he stood up.

“But I think it’s safe for you to pick her up from the floor now.” He spoke packing up the med kit. “I’m going to run to the marketplace, want to go?”

Leia shook her head. “The last time I went to the marketplace you bought me a child.”

Han laughed.

“That and I don’t want her to think we’re taking her back.” Leia spoke as Kira walked over to them.

“Daddy.” She spoke reaching up to him. “Up?”

“Want to try it?”

Leia nodded crouching down. “Can I pick you up loved?”

She nodded.

Han watched them, ready to brace Leia if he needed to, the blaster bolt that hit her side had ripped through several layers of muscle and facia, and though she was really beginning to improve, she was still weak, especially on her dominant side. He watched her stand slowly with Kira held in close to her body. “You okay?” He asked seeing her grit her teeth.

“Yeah.” She breathed. “I’m okay, just sore.”

Leia sat on the floor with Kira in her lap their force signatures intertwined. She was trying to figure out where she could have come from. Little Kira, with an Alderaani name and Corellian toughness. Kira with a force signature like an air raid siren. Who’s force signature felt so much like her own, so familiar. 

The little girl who was already so bonded to her she could almost let herself believe that she’d given birth to her before the Erso Mission, Kira with such dark, intense, expressive eyes and silky brown hair.

Vader’s cape darkened her vision as reached further into Kira’s mind. She wasn’t sure if it was more of those trigger points he’d burned into her mind on the Death Star or if she was seeing what Kira saw until she felt Kira shake. She broke the connection and Kira just sobbed and shook in her arms.

“It’s okay, I’m sorry.” Leia crooned holding her so tight. “I’m sorry.” She could feel Kira’s alarm. “I love you.” She soothed, it was the first time she’d said it, but she felt it for sure. Leia loved Kira as if she’d carried her as if she and whomever had made her. It didn’t matter where she came from, she was definitely hers.

She held her close and leaned back against the front of the sofa. “Mumma’s sorry.” She pushed herself to her feet, gods that hurt, she knew she’d bleed from that move. She adjusted her in her arms and Kira buried her face in her neck and cried. “It’s okay.” Leia danced with her and rubbed her back like she’d watched Han do when she’d had that horrible nightmare the other night. “I'm here.” She soothed.

She tried to use the force to soothe her but she was panicking too much to focus. “Okay baby, we’ve got to calm down. Let’s breathe together.” She took her hand gently and placed it against her chest. “Feel my heart?” Kira continued to cry but she felt her nodding against her neck. Leia sighed. “Good, okay can you feel me breathe?” She nodded again. “Okay, breathe with mumma okay? When I breathe in you breathe in.” She breathed in and felt Kira follow her. “Good girl, and when I breathe out you breathe out.” She exhaled and felt her follow. “Ready?” Kira nodded. Leia closed her eyes and danced her around the lounge regulating Kira’s breathing the way that Han regulated hers rubbing her back and whispering to her in Moccoan basic, a little song her own mother would sing to her when she was scared.

Han let himself in and he could tell by Leia’s eyes that something was very wrong. He set his shopping down and Leia could have sworn he’d only taken a couple of steps to get them. “Hey bitsy.” He spoke gently as he slipped an arm around Leia held them both close to his chest. Finally, between the two of them Kira started to relax. She reached under Leia’s chin and grabbed her earlobe between the pad of her thumb and the second knuckle of her index finger, just like Leia had done as a child and Han had caught her doing to self soothe after nightmares.

“What happened?” He spoke handing Leia a toddy he'd made while she stayed with Kira until she’d fallen asleep.

“I fucked up Han, I really fucked up.”

“What were you doing?” He spoke gently trying to keep any accusatory tone out of his voice.

She sighed. “I was just… I was trying to figure out where she came from.”

“So you were in her head.” He kept that gentle even tone to his voice, as if here were taming a wild animal.

Leia nodded.

“What’d you see?”

“Vader.”

“Your memory or hers?”

“Han, that’s the thing, I don’t know.”

He sighed. “Maybe stay out of her head for a while.”

She nodded.

“Are you okay?”

She shook her head.

“Are you at a point where you can be held?”

“Not yet.” She spoke looking longingly at the fireplace.

He nodded. “You want a fire, Princess?”

She nodded.

“It’s not your fault.” Han spoke wrapping her in a quilt.

“Gods I hope I didn’t fuck anything up.”

“I’m sure she’s fine.”

Leia nodded watching him build a fire for her. “I should have known better, Master Ferus would have never have done that alone.”

“Well, Obi Wan is dead and Luke’s less trained that you are. Know any other Jedi?” He spoke wiping his hands on his pants and sitting down with her. He made sure to stay close, but to keep his distance and wait for her to be ready for him to hold her.

“I should have waited for Luke to train.” She spoke using the movement of the flames to focus her frantic thoughts.

Han shrugged. “Nothing you can do about it now.”

She nodded.

“So, what do you think you saw?”

She shook her head. “Vader implanted traps in my mind, destroyed good memories, but I’ve never had anything like that happen before.”

“Do you think it was hers?”

Leia nodded.

“Who is she?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know, that’s what I was trying to figure out.”

Han shrugged. “Well, we know she’s force sensitive and we think she’s seen Vader.”

Leia nodded. “And those kids found her after some sort of fight.”

Han looked at her, his face open hoping she knew he really wished he didn’t have to say it. “We might want to think about heading back to the fleet for a while.”

“I know.”

He sighed. “I know you need more time, and you know I don’t want to go back.”

She nodded getting up.

“Where are you going?”

“To check on Kira.”

He nodded and watched her walk down the hall.

Han cleared his throat as if to announce his presence as he walked into the lounge. He’d been cleaning up around the property to give Leia some space. She’d been distant and deep in her own thoughts since her force misstep. She looked up from the mug of caff she’d been staring into as if she could divine the answers from within. She smiled warmly and went back to the vigil she was holding with her caff.

“I thought I’d take a shower.” He spoke, more narration to put her at ease.

She nodded.

“How’s your side?”

“It hurts, but not bad.”

He nodded. “You want some aceto?”

She shook her head. “I’m alright.”

He sighed, she wasn’t he knew that. “I’ve got some if you change your mind.”

She nodded.

“Kira okay?” He knew she was monitoring her sleep. He could tell she had one foot in the room with him and one somewhere deep in the recesses of the force.

“What?” She looked at him.

“You have force face Lei, she okay?”

She nodded.

Han leaned against the doorframe of Fane’s room and watched Kira sleep. The muscles in her forehead were slack and she looked perfectly relaxed curled up with her stuffed Wookiee. He wondered if she had nightmares, like Leia’s but different. He didn’t want to know where she came from, he didn’t care… all he wanted was to keep her safe and to keep the monsters away.

She opened her eyes and looked at him. He waved and she smiled at him. He saw Leia in the hall and looked at her. He’d been correct in his assessment, Leia had been monitoring Kira’s sleep. He motioned to her and walked into the room.

“Hey bitsy.” He spoke gently. “You okay?”

Kira nodded.

“Saw some scary stuff earlier didn’t you?” He spoke crouching down next to her as Leia walked in.

Kira nodded.

“Did you know that I’m really good at keeping scary things away?”

Kira shook her head.

Kira looked at Leia and Leia nodded even though she wasn’t sure this was quite the proper way to handle Kira’s visions. Kira trusted Leia easily because of Leia’s force presence. She'd felt Leia in the marketplace, just as strongly as Leia had felt her. Leia had used her force presence to soothe Kira early on and formed an instant bond so that whenever Kira was frightened or unsure she’d reach out to Leia and Leia would soothe her. In turn, Kira trusted Han because she could feel Leia’s trust and so from time to time when she was unsure about Han she’d look to Leia for reassurance.

She closed her eyes again falling asleep quickly.

“She's tired.” Han commented out in the hall.

“She’s little Han, that episode took a lot out of her.”

He nodded. “What about you?”

“I’m fine.”

“Sure, you’re always fine.”

She looked at him.

He sighed and slipped his arm around her. “You can talk to me, you know?”

“I know.”

“You scared yourself didn’t you?” Han spoke as they sat out on the deck wrapped in a quilt.

She nodded. “I was just trying to figure her out.”

He nodded.

“Aren’t you curious?”

“No, not in the least. She’s here and she’s safe and that’s all that matters.”

“You know, they took all sorts of samples from me on the Death Star.”

“Yeah, I know that’s pretty standard.” He spoke remembering his time as an imperial. “Mostly it’s about intimidation…” He trailed off.

“What if she’s mine?”

“Would it change anything? I mean, does it matter if she’s not?”

“No.”

“I say, leave it alone.” He pressed his lips to the top of her head. “All we can do is keep the monsters away regardless of how she came to be.”

She nodded. “Can we stay a little while longer?”

He nodded. “We need to check in with the fleet and I think it’s best you speak with High Command about this. They may not want us bringing her on base.”

She nodded. “There are kids on base Han.”  
“Not kids who have seen Vader.”

She sighed. “I never wanted to go underground.”

“And the offer still stands.”

“What offer?”

“You remember, you go back to the fleet and I stay here with Kira. I’d even let you take the Falcon. You could come back here and visit when you have some R&R.”

Leia shook her head. “Hmm mm. I’m her best defense against Vader if he comes for her.”

“I’m pretty good with a blaster.” Han started.

She shook her head. “He’ll rip it out of your hands before you have a chance to react.”

“Are you strong enough to fight him?”

“I’m sane, aren’t I?”

“Pretty much.”

She elbowed him gently.

“I’d say that you’re suicidal sometimes.”

“I’m not suicidal, my actions and my behavior might be, but I am not.”

“Say it however you want sweetheart, but you take some really stupid risks.”

“Well, I can’t do that now, can I?”

He shook his head. “Not if you’re really committed to doing this.”

She nodded.

“You can do a lot from hiding. You were trained as a barrister right?”

She nodded. “It’s the family business, well that and politics.”

“Think about all of the sentient rights work you could be doing.”

She nodded. “I did like that part of it.”  
“And remote intel.”

She sighed and curled in closer to him. “What about you?”

“What about me princess?” He ran his fingers through her hair, she was wearing her hair down around him more and he took every opportunity to have his hands in it.

“What are you going to do?”

He smiled.

“I know you don’t like to stay in one place very long.”

He laughed. “That’s a fairly recent thing Lei.”

“Is it because of your family?”

He nodded. “Yeah, being still gives me time to think about all of that.”

She nodded. “It’s better now, though isn’t it?”

He nodded.

“So, what will you do?”

“I’m really good at building things, that’s what I did before. Custom work, had a little shop down near the marketplace. Built furniture and interiors, toys for Fane. I could do that again. That and remote intel with you and maybe pick the occasional shipping run if I’m needed. Then once things quiet down we’ll help rebuild. I’m sure you’ll work along side Mon, you’ll probably be involved in tribunals and inquests and the prosecution of war criminals. Bet there are a lot of refugees and orphans that the Alliance will need help with logistically.”

Leia nodded.

“No more missions though, not until she’s older.”

“Han.”

“Hmm?”

“What if I have to face Vader or Palpatine?”

“Then you’d better start training.”

“You wanna watch?” She looked at him knowing that he loved to watch her run combat sims.

He laughed. “Well yeah, I’ve got a little hover blast droid on the Falcon, Luke’s used it before.”

“I thought you didn’t believe in hokey religions and bullshit.”

He chuckled. “I remember the Jedi from when I was little, just don’t know how much I believe in the doctrine. Emotions are bad and that sort of thing, and the celibacy part, because having sex makes you flawed enough to turn.” He made a dismissive noise. “Bantha shit.”

Leia smiled.

“You ever worry that if you face Vader, he’ll turn you?”

“He can’t.” She spoke carefully. “He tried that and it didn’t work so well.”

“Gods Leia, how strong are you?”

“Strong enough.”

He nodded. "I don’t know what I believe when it comes to the force but, I believe in you and I’ve watched you and Kira interact and so I know that there is definitely something to it.”

She tilted her head up and kissed his jaw. “I like this side of you.”

“Ah, don’t let it get around.”

She smiled. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

He kissed her gently. “Leia.” He whispered as the kiss deepened. She could feel the rumble of his voice against her back. He kissed her jaw and she tilted her head baring her neck to him. She felt his hand slip up the hem of her shirt and the muscles in her stomach tightened. “You can tell me to stop.” He breathed.

“I don't want you to stop.” She breathed as he ran his hand over the soft skin of her abdomen.

He’d kissed her before, the very first time was in the cargo hold on the way to Yavin and he’d kissed her good night and good morning when she'd been in medical after the Death Star. He’d slipped his hand up the back of her shirt and rubbed the burning, energy zapping pain out of the scars that Vader had left when he’d tried to torture information out of her and when that failed, tried to make her turn.

They’d even come achingly close to going to bed together on Ord Mantell, but this felt different. He felt like he could take his time, there were no hyperspace alarms or nosey Wookiee. They weren’t on a mission worried about missing their contact or having their covers blown. There was no rush, even if Kira woke from her nap, she still generally slept through the night. They’d gotten through the uncomfortableness of figuring out how their histories could impact their intimacy. Han knew by heart what not to do and so did Leia. The war and the rebellion went on without them and it would still be there when they got back.

He felt Leia tilt her head back as his hand slid up the familiar landscape of her torso, brushing his calloused fingertips along her rib cage as his lips traced her jaw and worked down her neck. She reached back and tangled her fingers into his hair. He let his hand drift over soft shimmer silk, something non-military issue. “Is this that set you bought on Ord Mantell to go with that dress?”

She nodded.

“I like this.” He spoke running his knuckles over the fabric so his callouses wouldn’t catch and run the delicate fabric.

He wanted to tell her that he loved her. He’d wanted to say it for a long time, but he knew now wasn’t the right time. He wondered if he should even say it at all until after he faced Jabba. He knew how Leia felt about getting to close and getting hurt and gods, he didn’t want to hurt her. He just wanted to be in this moment for the rest of his life. He wanted to know that he could come home from wherever he’d been and Leia would be at work or somewhere he could find her and he could hold her and tell her that he loved her and she’d let him and she’d believe him. She’d curl her body close to his and look at him with those big brown eyes and she wouldn’t be afraid to say it back. She wouldn’t be afraid to feel it.

“Stop.” Leia breathed. “What’s wrong?” She sat up.

“Nothing.” He looked at her. “I was just thinking.”

“What about?”

“You.” He stroked her cheek. “I haven’t been able to think about much else for the last couple of years.”

She curled up with him and looked out into the forest. He slipped his hand up the back of her shirt and rubbed the scars there. This was going to be slow and he was fine with that. Everything with Leia was slow, she was so careful and deliberate with their relationship, so afraid to be hurt, so afraid to lose one more person that she loved. He laced his fingers with hers.

Leia sat on Han’s bed brushing out her hair and wearing the Yavini kimono that Han had bought her after the Battle of Yavin, when she’d finally agreed to change out of the gown that was her last Alderaani possession. She kept the kimono on the Falcon with other important possessions, so that if they had to evac, she knew she’d at least have the possessions that meant something to her. She knew from the kimono that Han loved her in deep reds and rich golds and blacks. So when she bought things for herself with him in mind they were always in rich deep reds or blacks or purples and occasionally the right shade of green. The dress from Ord Mantell was a deep jade and the underwear set he’d referred to was black. The camisole set she was wearing under her kimono was a deep rich red.

Han walked in and smiled. “Hey.” He spoke gently, placing his hands on her shoulders. He’d learned early on to announce himself and to never surprise her. He kissed her temple. “You smell good.” He spoke letting his lips drift down her jaw.

She tilted her head to the side to accommodate him. “It’s that nice shampoo you brought back from one of your trips. The one that smells like star flowers.”

“I like it.” He spoke kissing her neck. He felt her pulse quicken against his lips. “Leia, you have to know that I love you.” He felt her tense.

“Of course I know Han, I’ve known that for a long time.” She sighed sitting very still. “I just wish you hadn’t said it.”

Han walked around and sat down in front of her watching her braid her hair without even looking.

“How could I not know, it’s not like you’ve been hiding it from me.”

“You just didn’t want me to say it.” Han spoke carefully, as if he were contemplating each word he spoke watching her fingers deftly turn her hair into one long braid.

She shook her head. “I’ve lost everyone I’ve ever loved and now you're going to go to Jabba with a death warrant and I’ll lose you too.”

“You love me?” He tried to catch her eye.

“That wasn’t the most important part of that sentence.” She spoke wrapping an elastic around the end of her braid and tossing it over her shoulder.

“But you do love me.”

She sighed. “Yes, Han. I love you.”

“Listen,” He took her hand. “We’ll figure this Jabba thing out, logistically.”

“You’re not good at logistics, you’re good at balls out madman.”

He smiled at her. “I’ll let your people help me. I can’t leave you and I can’t leave Kira, but I can’t put you in danger either.”

“Are you willing to let the Alliance handle it?”

“I’m willing to talk to Rieekan about it.”

“He’s going ask you to enlist.”

“And you’re going to tell him why I can’t.”

She nodded.

Han kissed her gently. She pressed her hand to his chest and felt his heart pounding. “Han I’m sorry.”

“For what?” He spoke pressing his forehead against hers.

“Waiting so long to tell you.”

“You have your own pace Leia.” He kissed her gently.

Leia untied her kimono and slipped her hand into his hair, it was soft and thick and she liked the way he groaned when she scratched her nails against his scalp. He groaned just as she’d predicted. “Wait.” She breathed, feeling the warmth of his hands through the her shimmer silk camisole set.

“What?” He pulled back and looked into her eyes.

“Is Kira’s door shut?”

“I’ll go shut it.” Han kissed her as he got up. “Don’t move.”

Leia got up and hung up her Kimono and turned on one of the bedside lamps and turned off the overhead light source.

“I thought I asked you to stay put?” He spoke walking back in and shutting the door behind himself. 

She sighed taking a powder pink case about the size of her palm out of her overnight bag. “I have to put in my diaphragm.”

“You don’t have an implant?” He spoke walking over to her.

“Hmm mm.” She shook her head. “Alliance issue.”

He sighed. “I’m sure I’ve got a condom somewhere.” He slipped his arms around her waist.

“This is fine, it’s all we had on Alderaan, I’m used to it.”

“Yeah but you gotta wear it all night.”

“Six hours, it’s fine Han, really.”

“Tomorrow we’re going to the medcenter and getting you an implant, they last five years and you can have it removed whenever you want, you know if you want to have a baby…” He trailed off kissing her gently.

“Would you want to have a baby with me?” She spoke pressing her hand against his chest. She had a thing about feeling his heartbeat.

“Sure, if you want a baby that’s something I can do.” He nuzzled her cheek. "I like babies."

Leia smiled at him. “Han, I’m twenty-one, I’m too young to have a baby.”

“Lei, you have a two year old.”

She kissed his chin. “Let’s leave it at that for now.” She shook off his embrace.

He smiled watching her disappear into the ensuite. He wondered if Leia could tell he was nervous. He wondered if she knew that she was the only person he’d considered having sex with since Sulen had died. He thought it best not to tell her, if she asked he wouldn’t lie, but Leia had suddenly become very decisive once she’d decided to have sex with him or as she had said to go to bed with. He chuckled at the modesty of her Alderaani upbringing juxtaposed with what he knew about her. He had a feeling that she was a lot more liberated and in control of her own sexuality than the Queen and the Viceroy would have liked, but that was Leia.

He stepped out of his shoes and took off his trousers. He wasn’t wearing his Bloodstripes here and had gone back to wearing his civilian clothes and a small concealed blaster under his waistband, keeping everything else locked up or well out of Kira’s reach as he had with Fane. He sat down on the bed, the bed he’d once shared with his wife and looked around. “I waited a long time.” He spoke quietly. “And I just got so lonely and so angry. I lost myself. I’m just trying to get back.” He sighed and stripped the blankets and pillows off the bed. He couldn't do it, he couldn't have sex with Leia on he and Sulen's bed, but maybe he could make a nice nest in front of the fireplace and...

“Han, are you alright? What are you doing?” Leia spoke stepping out of the ensuite. Surprising him in his underwear with the bedclothes wadded up in his hands.

He looked at her and she instantly saw it and felt it. She could see that he was panicking, that he couldn't do it here, with her on this bed, this was his wife's bed. And realization washed over her, and she knew; he hadn't been with anyone since his wife had died.

“Oh.” She spoke gently taking the sheets from him and setting them on the stripped mattress. “Oh, Han.”

“Han." She spoke moving back to him. "We don’t have to…”

He looked at her, his eyes too soft, too vulnerable.

“We have plenty of time.”

Han sighed.

“You haven’t been with anyone since your wife died, have you?” Leia spoke looking at her hands not sure if he was ready for her to hold him.

He shook his head.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I’ve never talked about it.”

She looked at him. “Maybe that’s the problem.”

He nodded.

Leia looked at the stripped bed as she pulled her kimono back on. She knew it wasn’t about her but she still felt a little self conscious. She felt like a foolish girl in this strange woman’s bedroom. She felt like she shouldn’t be there.

He sighed pulling her into his arms and she could tell he was starting to come out of it. “I’m sorry.” He rubbed her back gently. “Hey, when did you take your hair down?” He spoke running his fingers through her hair.

“When I was putting in my diaphragm. I know you really like it down.”

He kissed her top of her head. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you Leia."

"It's okay." She spoke holding him reassuringly tight. 

“So.” She spoke helping him remake the bed. “That was a yes then, you haven't been with anyone since your wife.”

Han sighed. “No, I haven’t.”

She nodded.

“I want you Leia.” He spoke quietly.

“But that was your marriage bed.”

He nodded. “I should have burned it with everything else.”

“Everything else?”

He nodded. “I burned her clothes and a bunch of our holographs. I tried to burn Fane’s stuff but I couldn’t so it’s up in the attic. I almost burned the house down.”

“I’m glad you didn’t, I like this little house.”

He sighed sitting at the foot of the bed. “I should have.”

Leia looked at him.

“She’s everywhere Leia. I see her in everything.”

“You need closure.”

“I don’t know how to do that.”

“Talk to her, write her a letter. Get it out Han, whatever regret and guilt you’re carrying around let it go.”

“That’s easy to say.” Han spoke without thinking.

“You lose your entire planet recently?” She crossed her arms across her chest.

He looked at her.

“You lose everyone you’ve ever loved?”

“No.”

She nodded turning away from him.

“But I thought I did.”

Leia looked at him.

“And then I found you." He got up, his posture open. "This angry, stuck up Princess. This bitty little thing with the biggest attitude I’d ever seen.” He moved to her and took her hands in both of his. “Wanted to stuff you back in your cell for a while there.” He sighed. “And I feel horrible about it Lei.”

She watched him, his whole body seeming to deflate. She sighed running her fingers through his hair. “Why?”

He looked at her. “Because I love you. Because I love you like I loved Sulen and I love Kira like I loved Fane. Because I walked away and left my life here. I didn’t even go to their funerals. Now, I want my life back Lei, but I want it with you.”

“And you feel guilty because you lived and they didn’t and now you’re moving on, healing and moving forward.” She spoke sitting down on the bed.

“It was so much easier when I didn’t give a shit about anything but myself. But I feel like I used to. I feel like the man that died when my family was killed.” He sat down with her.

“He didn’t die Han, he just pulled his shields up and ran away. You've always been this Han. Well, you’ve been this Han behind closed doors for me, but now with Kira you can’t go back to being smuggler Han because she knows you, this you and it will hurt her.”

He nodded he folded some loose hair behind her ear. “And we gotta buy a new bed.”

Leia looked at him.

“It’s hard for me to see you sleepin’ in another woman’s bed.” He pulled her close.

“That’s what bothers you?” She culed up against him.

“Sulen picked out that bed.” He spoke against her hair.

Leia nodded. “Well, then… I guess we’re going to town tomorrow.”

He smiled.

“Do you have any of your reward money left?”

“No.”

“No?”

“I gave it back.”

“No one told me.”

“I didn’t want you to know, didn’t want you to think I wasn’t grateful.” He scrubbed the back of his neck. “I was afraid you’d be all insulted, that I didn’t appreciate the gesture, but Lei… I couldn’t take it. Your rebels can barely cover the cost of repairs.”

She smiled. “You thought I'd be insulted because you’re a good man?”

“Don’t tell anybody. Don’t need that getting around the base. The Rogues have enough betting pools where we’re concerned.”

“Betting pools?” She turned and looked at him.

“You’re kiddin’ right?”

She shook her head.

Han laughed. “Let’s see, there’s the Have Solo and the Princess Made Out, pool.”

“We have.”

“They don’t know that.”

She smiled at him appreciative of his descresion.

“There’s the How Far has the Princess Let Solo Go, pool.”

Leia blushed.

“Your secret’s safe with me.” He kissed her temple.

She shook her head incredulously. “What else?”

He laughed. “The was The Princess a virgin pool. I’ve got some money on that one. I was right by the way.”

"I'm sure you were." Leia laughed hugging her knees to her chest. “Is that it?”

“When and where are they going to fuck or have they already and if they have where?” He spoke reaching out and dragging his fingertips down the middle of her back. He watched her straighten and shiver. So he did it again to watch her react this time she moaned. “Does that feel good?”

She nodded.

“Your back is bothering you, isn’t it?”

She nodded. "When isn't my back bothering me?"

“Thranta or scan grid?”

“Both.”

“Hmm.” He pressed his lips to the top of her head. “Want me to fix it?

She nodded taking off her kimono.

“See, now I know to ask about both.”

She nodded. “So what else are they betting about?” She slipped off her camisole without showing him anything and lie down.

“Hmm, there was a wager early on I’d say six months after the Death Star where they were convinced you were pregnant.” He started at her shoulders, her shoulders were always tight and they tended to make the rest of her ache when they got too tight.

Leia laughed. “When?”

“Remember that supply run you made with me to Mandalore because you were bored and really wanted to get off planet?”

"Sure, I remember that." She nodded. “Why did they think I was pregnant?”

“Because we were getting along really well and they had assumed we’d had sex.”

Leia laughed. “And then I got the flu.”

“Morning sickness.”

“Gods.”

He smiled. “They were taking bets in the officer’s club. I shut it down pretty quick.”

“Thank you.”

“S’no problem Lei.” He rubbed the peculiar scars on her back. He had scan grid scars and he’d seen them on others but never like these. These looked like lightning across a darkened spring sky and they seemed be the cause of a lot of pain.

Leia groaned each time Han’s hands pressed on the strange scars it felt like electricity running from her spine down her arms and up her neck.

“Want me to stop?” He kissed her shoulder.

“No.” She breathed.

Leia woke the next morning in Han’s bed. She rolled over and his side was still warm. She’d slept with her diaphragm in on accident and decided to take a quick shower, it was easier to remove it in the shower. Part of her thought about going to look for Han as she dried off, but she was still so deliciously tired that she wanted to take advantage of up and felt pulled back to bed. She slipped on one of Han’s undershirts in case Kira wandered in and curled back up in the bed, the blankets were still warm and she quickly fell back asleep.

Han stood out in the yard next to a small hole in his sweats. He cleared his throat and decided to take Leia’s advice. “Sulen, I handled all this wrong. I fucked it all up. Everything just hurt so bad, I couldn’t live with myself. I thought that this man was dead, I thought I’d killed him and replaced him with a heartless smuggler. A suicidal mercenary. Then I met Leia. I didn’t like her much at first, I didn’t want to like her that’s for sure. I swore that after I lost you I’d never have a place in my life for a family. I know that you wouldn’t have wanted that for me. But it’s just so hard to even think about having a family again, but here I am. I’ve been gone for a long time and I’ve been angry and lost and I think a part of me has been trying to get back here again. I want my life back not the life I created to cope with losing you and Fane. See, I’ve decided that I’m going to try again. That I’m going to let myself have some good and Leia and Kira, they’re that good. Gods Sulen, I’ll never stop loving you and I’ll never stop thinking about you and Fane and every time that Kira passes a milestone that Fane will never see I’ll always think of her. I know the two of you will always be in my heart, but there is room for a couple more; for Leia and Kira and someday maybe a baby that Leia and I make together or another orphan. I’ve got to let you go and let Fane go so I can live.” He cleared his throat and took the polished stone he’d given Sulen on their wedding day and set it gently in the hole, covering it back over with dirt and the grass patch he’d cut out of the yard. Once he was satisfied he put up his shovel and headed back to the house.


	3. High Command

Leia tried to remember who she had been before she had found Kira as she put on her makeup. She still looked like the Princess of Alderaan, if she were honest she looked a little older, but she felt different so much different. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever be able to put up that old shield and she wasn’t sure she wanted to.

“What do you think?” Leia looked at Kira who sat on the counter playing with one of her elastics. “Too much?”

“Pretty.”

“Hey.” Han leaned in the doorway of the ensuite fresher watching Leia put on her makeup.

She smiled at him. “Hey hotshot.”

“I have to head out to the touch port soon. You ready for all of this?”

“No.” She sighed separating her hair. “I wish you hadn’t called them.”

“What, and just bring a force sensitive kid who may or may not have seen Vader back to base?” Han spoke tucking in his shirt. “Maybe they’ll insist we stay away.”

“Han." She looked at him in the mirror pinnin a her hair as she braided it. "The war won’t just stop.”

"I know Lei, but it doesn't always have to be you." He sighed.

“But…” She started with that tone in her voice that told him that she was going to go into her long spiel about responsibility.

“But you have a responsibility.” He rolled up his sleeves. “Yes,I know sweetheart, I know.”

Leia turned around and slipped her arms around his neck. “They’ll go back to the base and I’ll still be right here with you and Kira.”

He smiled at her.

“I’m not going anywhere until we figure out a safe solution. One meeting with high command isn’t enough for me, unless we come up with a real, workable solution.”

“Good.” He kissed her forehead.

“Already pretending you didn’t just buy a brand new bed just for me?” Leia smirked at his chasteness.

“Didn’t want to ruin your lipstick.” He rubbed her forearms.

She smiled at him. “There are far worse things you can ruin other than my lipstick.” She spoke kissing him just long enough.

He pressed his forehead against hers.

“If you’re a good boy I’ll let you ruin all sort of things after they leave.” She spoke tangling her fingers into the hair at the base of his skull.

He kissed her letting one hand slip up under the hem of her shirt, the other ruining her partially pinned crown braid.

“We have to stop.” She breathed pulling away. “We’re being watched.”

Han looked over at Kira and smiled and she giggled at her mumma’s lipstick all over his mouth.

“You’re a mess.” Leia spoke handing him a damp cloth.

“You don’t think it’s my shade?” He spoke admiring his handiwork in the mirror. “What do you think bitsy? Does it suit me?”

Kira laughed in full big laughs as Han kissed her forehead leaving a smear of Leia’s deep red lipstick there as well.

Leia laughed watching him clean the lipstick off of his lips and scrub it out of the beard he’d started growing.

“Hmm mm.” He frowned watching her braid her hair into a tight crown braid again.

“What?” She looked at him in the mirror.

He shook his head.

“What?”

“I dunno Leia.” He scrubbed the back of his head. “I like it down.”

“That’s for you, that’s not for anyone else.”

He nodded.

“I’m Alderaani, you’re technically not supposed to see me with my hair down unless we’re married.”

“I know, I know it’s just so severe.” He spoke leaning against the counter next to Kira. “Are you going to wear one of your court gowns too?”

“No.”

He nodded.

“You’re going to be late.” She looked at her chrono.

“Shit.”

“Shit.” Kira repeated.

“Nice job Solo.” Leia deadpanned.

He smiled and kissed her forehead before heading out to the touch port.

Han sat at the touch port hand polishing a stone he’d found at the falls near the property line when he’d been out gathering firewood. It wasn’t time to give it to Leia and he wasn’t even sure if this was the right stone, but he wanted to see what it would look like. Han was nervous and doing something with his hands calmed his nerves. Just as he really got into his work and started to focus and calm down, the rumble of a rebel transport shook him from his unique meditation. He looked to the partly cloudy sky and saw a GX-1 and an X-Wing break the atmosphere overhead. He shook his head incredulously, escorting a GX-1 didn’t look suspicious at all. He wiped the polishing compound off of his hands and got out of his speeder wondering how many trips he’d have to make, it only sat four comfortably six if you pushed it.

He looked up as the X-Wing landed and realized that it wasn't an escort, it was Luke. Luke had been off on a mission with some of the Rogues when he and Leia had returned from Ord Mantell and they hadn’t waited for him to return before they’d left for Corellia. Han couldn’t blame him for wanting to come along. He was surprised that High Command had been willing to let Luke take the time off. He must have taken his X-Wing so that he could stay a few days. Leia would be thrilled. Han wasn’t sure what her relationship with the kid was, but he knew they were close and that she missed him.

Han jogged up the steps to the X-Wing’s touch pad as Luke climbed down with his duffle. He paused, he was even nervous to see Luke. He wasn’t himself and he wasn’t sure if he could get his smuggler mask back on straight. Luke looked around, clearly not recognizing Han without his Bloodstripes. To be fair, he looked nothing like the pilot Luke had met at Mos Eisley.

Han cleared his throat. “Hey kid.”

“Han!” Luke jogged over to him and pulled him into a rough good natured hug. Han scruffed his hair and clapped him on the back before releasing him. “Nice cover.”

Han laughed. “Yeah kid.”

“How’s Leia?” Luke asked as they walked to the speeder. “Rieekan said she got hurt pretty bad on Ord Mantell.”

“She’s alright, better every day. How’d your mission go?”

“Ah, it was just a little skirmish we won.”

"You're starting to sound like the rest of the Rogues." Han spoke loading Luke’s duffle in the speeder’s cargo hold. “Who’s on that GX-1?”

“Rieekan.”

“Anyone else?”

Luke shook his head. "Just a flight crew."

“Good.” Han spoke and sighed a relieved sigh. “I like Rieekan.”

Leia got up from the floor of Kira's little pink bedroom where she'd been watching her play as she heard Han’s speeder pull up. She was nervous and unsure as to who was about to walk through the door. Leia was dressed causally with her hair braided in one long braid down her back for Han, she figured he was nervous enough without her dressing like the ice queen. “Come here loved.” Leia spoke, she was nervous and suddenly just really wanted to hold Kira close to her. Kira calmed her and centered her a lot like Han did. “We’re about to have company.” She spoke picking her up.

Kira buried her face in Leia’s neck. “No.”

Leia laughed. “I don't want company either, but they’re not staying forever.”

“We really like it out here.” Han’s voice filled the house as he led Luke and General Rieekan inside the house he and Leia had been hiding out in for a far shorter amount of time than it seemed. “It’s nice and quiet and it’s been the perfect place for Leia to recover.”

Leia walked into the lounge with Kira against her shoulder trying to remember that she and Han weren't together and that their relationship didn't seem as natural to everyone else as it did to them. She resisted the urge to walk straight over to Han and curl up against his side letting him slip his arm around her, to ground her and reassure her. Not that she needed him to reassure her, but gods sometimes it felt good just have him close.

She stopped clear minding and watched Luke stop feeling Kira’s force presence separate from her own so much like Leia’s he wasn’t sure what to make of it. Kira felt Luke as strongly as she’d felt Leia in the marketplace and turned in Leia’s arms to stare at him with eyes that were just as much like Leia’s as her force presence seemed to be.

“Kira.” Leia spoke quietly. “That’s Luke.”

Kira sat up and stared at him.

“Hi.” Luke marveled at her.

“Can you say ‘hi’?”

Kira looked at Leia and then at Luke.

Leia smiled at her. "Kira."

Kira looked at her.

"You can say ‘hi’ to him from here." Leia touched her temple gently, knowing that Kira was more comfortable communicating through the force when she was nervous. "He can hear you."

Kira looked back at Luke. (Hi).

Luke smiled. (Hi, Kira).

Kira looked at Leia and then at Luke.

“He’s okay, loved. He’s a very good friend of ours. He’s like family.”

“How did I not feel her? I could feel you.” Luke asked as they sat down together in the lounge.

“She and I feel exactly the same so I clear minded you.” Leia answered simply. “I can always feel you before you can feel me.”

“It felt so weird, suddenly you were amplified.”

Leia smiled at him. “What do you think baby?” She smoothed Kira’s hair. “Do you think you could sit with Luke for just a few minutes while I said ‘hi’ to General Rieekan?”

“Huh uh.” Kira mumbled into Leia's shoulder tightening her grip.

Leia smiled at her. "Okay, loved." She rubbed her back

“Leia? Is she yours?” Luke asked carefully.

“What are you asking?” Leia narrowed her eyes at him.

Luke looked from Leia's expression to Kira, who was now scrutinizing him as well. “Was she taken from you when you were captured?”

Leia laughed. “I’ve heard about the betting pools Skywalker, are you trying to win a wager as to whether or not I’m a virgin?”

“What?” Luke laughed.

“Luke, Han told me about the betting pools that the Rogues have set up.”

Luke blushed.

Leia laughed as she and Luke sat down together. “Let me give you a little inside tip. I'm not, but I have never been pregnant, Luke.” She spoke carefully, she didn't want to imply in front of Kira that Kira was not her child. Leia wasn't sure what Kira understood and she did not want Kira to think that she and Han didn't not want her. A simple answer of 'she's not mine' might be enough to upset the delicate trust that she and Han had build with Kira since taking her in. The force and her deep connection with Kira had bonded the two of them together, but as a foundling who no matter how much her parents loved her, feared that rejection Leia was careful hoping that she could protect Kira from ever feeling that fear.

“Why does she look and feel just like you?”

“I don't know.” Leia spoke rubbing Kira’s back gently.

“She’s nervous.”

Leia nodded watching Han and General Rieekan join them.

Han slipped his arm around Leia as he sat down. “Hey bitsy.”

Kira crawled into his lap. “Hi daddy.”

Luke looked at Han watching him interact with Kira as if she'd always been his little girl.

“Did you meet your uncle Luke?” Han spoke smoothing Kira's tiny braids.

She nodded.

“What did you think?”

She shrugged.

Han shrugged back. "A shrug? That's it?" His reaction made Kira laugh. “Is he nice?”

“Yeah.”

"Yeah?" Han spoke watching Kira play with his hands. “You think he’s okay?”

“Yeah.” She yawned.

“You sleepy bitsy?”

She nodded.

“Mumma was stressed out last night wasn't she?”

Kira nodded.

“Didn’t sleep so good did you?”

"Huh uh." Kira yawned again.

“Come on princess.” He got up. “You need a nap.”

“Story?”

“'Course I’ll tell you a story. I know lots of stories. What story do you want to hear? The one about the Wookiee or the time your uncle Luke saved the day or when your mumma and I outsmarted a bounty hunter. Oh what about the Jedi…” His voice trailed off as he walked down the hall.

“Your highness.” Rieekan began.

“Carlist.” Leia looked at him. “We’re in the middle of the Corellian forest, I think we can drop the formalities.”

He cleared his throat. “You’re not actually thinking of keeping her and raising her yourself, are you?”

“That decision has already been made.”

“Do you think it’s wise, your highness?”

Leia sighed and sat up straighter. “What would you prefer I do Carlist? I could take her back to the market where I found her, or I could just turn her over to the Empire, I’m sure they'd love to get their hands on what is possibly the last force sensitive child in the galaxy, or I could find a nice non Jedi couple to raise her. Which one of those is a better option? Tell me Carlist, I want your professional opinion.”

“Mumma’s mad.” Kira spoke quietly interrupting Han’s story.

“Yeah, I know bitsy, that’s why we’re in here.” He spoke gently. "It's okay, you mumma gets mad sometimes, well a lot."

“No.” Kira climbed over his legs and the rail that kept her from falling out of bed at night.

“No?” He followed her wanting to keep her away from the conversation he knew that Leia was having in the lounge.

“No.” She looked at him.

He crouched down and put his hands on her tiny shoulders. “You don’t want to know about the Wookiee?”

She shook her head.

He sighed smoothing her hair. “You want mumma?”

She nodded rubbing her eyes.

“You’re sleepy bitsy.”

“Mumma’s mad.” She spoke and he watched her bottom lip tremble. “Daddy, mumma’s mad.” She started to cry.

“Okay.” He spoke gently scooping her into his arms and standing up. “Don’t cry. Let’s go find mumma.”

“All I’m saying is that it’s selfish Leia.” Han overheard Rieekan chastise Leia. “Shit.” He sighed this was not going well. “Selfish? You’re calling me selfish?” He heard Leia’s voice grow louder. “You want selfish?”

“Your highness.” Rieekan cut her off. “The base is no place for a child.”

“There are children on the base, Carlist…”

“Not force sensitive children who could put us at risk.”

“That’s like saying Luke and I put the base at risk.” Leia sighed.

“We had good reason to want you to go into hiding after you disclosed that Vader discovered your force sensitivity Leia.” Rieekan kept his voice steady. “Now, you want to come back to the base with a force sensitive child that Skywalker says feels just like you only amplified?” He spoke, clearly misunderstanding the conversation he had overheard between Luke and Leia.

Leia sighed. “So what are you suggesting?”

“I've spoken with Mon Mothma and General Dodonna and we'd like you to go to New Alderaan.”

Han walked back in with Kira.

Leia looked at him.

“She won’t go down, she’s too worried about you.” Han spoke quietly.

She nodded getting up and crossing to them without even excusing herself from the conversation with General Rieekan.

“Your highness?”

“It can wait a moment, Carlist.” Leia spoke firmly as she took Kira from Han. “What’s the matter loved?” She spoke holding Kira close to her chest. Kira didn't speak but Leia felt her try to wrap her force presence with her own as she curled against her. "It's alright loved." Leia murmured with her lips pressed gently against her tiny crown braid.

“I’m going to make some caff.” Han spoke kissing Leia’s forehead. “You got this under control?”

She nodded.

Luke raised an eyebrow and hopped up to join Han in the kitchen not sure what to make of the the new, or new to him gentle exchanges between Han and Leia.

“You were just about to tell me of New Alderaan?” Leia spoke sitting back down when she was satisfied that Kira felt calm and safe.

Kira stared at Rieekan from Leia’s lap.

He cleared his throat. “She’s quite intense.”

Leia nodded smoothing her hair. “She might just take on the Empire herself.”

Rieekan chuckled. “She might.”

“Kira, say hi to the General.”

Kira looked at her.

“I’m not mad anymore loved, it’s okay.”

“Hello, Kira.” Rieekan spoke quietly but formally as if addressing the child of a dignitary. Most children would have buried their faces in their mother’s shoulders shyly, but not Kira. Kira stood her ground just as Leia had done when he had first been formally introduced to her at roughly the same age.

Han elbowed Luke in the kitchen. “Watch this.”

“Hello, general.” Kira spoke firmly with that same inner rim accent that caused her to call Leia mumma.

“Leia teach her that?” Luke asked.

Han shook his head. “She’s just like that.”

“Who is she?” Luke marveled.

“No clue kid, don’t care.” He poured chocolate blue milk into Kira’s spill proof mug.

“You’re not curious?” Luke looked at Han.

“Nope.” He looked at Luke. “I got one job.” He pointed to his chest. “I keep the monsters away. I don't care where the monsters came from, I just keep ‘em away.” He stalked out of the kitchen with the tiny spill proof cup.

Luke watched him crouch down in front of Kira.

“Your caff, princess.”

“Thank you, daddy.”

“Where’s mine?” Leia spoke flatly looking at him.

“Still perking your highnessness, this place is all manual, remember? Unless you’d like some chocolate blue milk like bitsy here.”

Leia laughed. What she’d like would be for this conversation to be over. For Rieekan to head back to the fleet and leave she and Han alone.

“You love her.” Luke spoke as Han walked back in.

“Kira?" He spoke checking the caff. "Of course I do.”

“I meant Leia.” Luke crossed his arms across his chest. 

Han laughed. “Huh uh. You want to talk about that, we can talk about that later, with Leia like grown ups.” He fixed Leia’s caff just the way she liked it by memory. “General, how do you take your caff?”

“Black is fine Solo.”

“Han…” Leia started.

“I know, sweetheart.” He grumbled good naturedly and carried both mugs into the lounge.

Luke raised an eyebrow at him and Han avoided his gaze knowing that his smuggler mask was slipping and good daddy and husband Han Solo was showing underneath. He grabbed his own caff and headed back into the living room. Luke shrugged and followed suit.

“Ah.” Rieekan spoke as Han sat down. “Nice of you to join us for this conversation Solo.”

“Wasn’t sure it concerned me.” Han casually draped his arm around Leia’s shoulders and Luke watched her reaction. “I’m not one of your enlisted men.” He sipped his caff.

“Well, the princess has made it quite clear to me that your her lover and that you would be accompanying her on next mission or there wouldn’t be one.”

“What?” Han coughed, the hot liquid burning his throat. “You what?” He looked at Leia and set his caff down before he spilled it.

“You alright?” Leia looked at him.

“I’m fine.” Han cleared his throat. “I just wasn’t… I didn't expect that.”

“Carlist was suggesting that you return to your freighting duties on Yavin IV and I go hide with Kira on New Alderaan.”

Han cleared his throat.

“Actually I suggested that you enlist.” Rieekan cut in.

“Nope.” Han cut him off.

“Not even for the princess.” Rieekan looked at him.

“This ain’t about Leia.” Han gritted his teeth.

“Then what’s it about Solo?” Rieekan met his ire. “You seem to be just fine sleeping with a princess out of wedlock and pretending to be this child’s father when it suits you, but ask you to do one honorable thing and you act as if someone has insulted you.”

Han got to his feet at the flippant mention of his relationship with Leia and pushed up his sleeves. “Just what kind of man do you think I am General?”

“Captain Solo.” Rieekan stood to his challenge. “I am an Alderaani and I was a friend of Leia’s father.” He rolled up his sleeves. “If I have to defend her honor…”

“That’s it.” Leia got up. “Han sit down.”

“Lei.”

“Han, sit down.” She spoke bracketing Kira on her hip.

“But he…" Han stammered.

“I will deal with Rieekan." She narrowed her eyes at the General. "Now, sit down.”

Han sat down and looked at Luke, the kid looked like he was watching his first action holofilm on the big screen. “You want some fucking puffed corn kid?”


	4. The Last Princess of Alderaan

Leia looked at Rieekan and Luke saw her eyes flash. “Out.” She pointed at the deck.

“Your highness...”

She shook her head. “You’re not doing this in here. This is Han’s home.”

Rieekan nodded and walked out onto the deck.

“Leia.” Han started. “I have every right to know what you say to him.”

“This isn’t about you.” Leia spoke lifting Kira off of her hip gently and sitting down with Han. “Loved, I need you to sit with daddy for a while.”

“No.”

“Kira, I need you to do what you are told.” Leia spoke firmly but gently.

Kira nodded.

“Come here bitsy and uncle Luke and I will tell you about that time he saved the entire Rebel Alliance.” Han lifted her off of Leia’s lap.

“What do you think she’s going to say?” Luke spoke as he and Han watched Leia calmly walk out onto the deck and close the fifteen light door behind her. She may have been dressed in casual civilian clothes but she was suddenly every bit the Princess of Alderaan she’d been on the Death Star.

“Defend my honor?” Leia spoke stretching to the full extent of her height and letting her voice do the rest. “It is not and will never be your job to defend my honor.” She bit out the last three words as if they were made of carbonite.

“Your highness…” He stammered.

“Don’t… don’t talk right now General, I’m talking right now.” She cut him off. “Do you know who defends my ‘honor’?”

He shook his head.

“I do. No one else. It’s not your job and it was never my father’s job. My mother promised me several years ago that my ‘honor’ would never be used to build alliances and if High Command thinks that has changed, you’d better have backup plan.” Leia looked through the fifteen light doors at Han. “He’s not going to enlist. There is nothing any of us could say to change that and I’m fine with it. I’ll never ask him again.”

Rieekan nodded. “And you have your heart set on him.”

She nodded. “I love him.”

He nodded. “That’s been apparent for a long time.”

“I need your help.”

“The Hutts?”

She nodded. “He gave back the reward Carlist, he has nothing to pay Jabba with, if he goes to face Jabba or is caught by a bounty hunter, he’s a dead man.”

Rieekan nodded lighting a cigarette. “We’re running intel.” He offered the pack to her.

“Thank you.” She lit up.

He nodded. “So why won’t he enlist? I wanted that in return for eliminating his bounty.”

Leia sighed. “Han built this house for his wife and daughter.”

“He’s divorced?”

Leia shook her head exhaling smoke. “He’s a widower.”

“Oh…”

“Captain Han Solo didn’t exist until five years ago. Before that he was just Han Solo, a regular guy with a wife and a daughter about Kira’s age, an Imperial Reserve Officer who built custom cabinets and homes like this one by hand.”

“He built this by hand?”

Leia nodded. “Did you see the burled inlays?”

“They’re beautiful.”

“He did all of that.”

“What happened?”

"He was in his shop one afternoon and his wife Sulen and his daughter Fane had gone to the marketplace to get a cake for Fane’s birthday. He said he was working with the holonet going and he heard this massive explosion and the whole place shook.”

“Gods.”

“It was a suicide bomber.”

“Imperial.”

She shook her head. “No, Carlist it was one of ours. It was a Rebel. A rebel suicide bomber killed Han’s family.”

Carlist looked through the doors at Han and Kira and back at Leia.

“So, he burned almost everything and left before their funerals. He won the Falcon in a card game, taught himself how to fly and started smuggling. It was attempted assisted suicide, only he became such a balls out madman he was impossible to kill.”

“And the Bloodstripes?”

“He went into the rubble after them, he saved a lot of people and he only stopped when he found them… but it was too late they were too close to the epicenter, there wasn’t much left. He has horrible nightmares sometimes. The way he screams their names…” She cleared her throat.

“Gods.”

Leia looked at Han through the doors.

Carlist followed her gaze. “So that man, isn’t Captain Solo, is he?”

She shook her head. “The longer we’re here the less like Captain Solo, Han becomes. He’s having one hell of a time keeping his facade up for Luke.”

“You know, the funniest part about all of this is there hasn’t been an ‘honor’ to protect in a very long time.” Leia looked at boggy loam below. "Since well before I met Captain Solo."

He blushed. “So, Kira is yours.”

Leia looked at him. “Why does everyone assume I got pregnant at some point?”

“There was a rumor.” He looked up at the forest canopy around them.

“I had the flu.” Leia spoke flatly.

“I mean back before the Erso Mission.” He looked at her. 

Leia sighed. “Everyone just assumes that I have no idea how to responsibly use contraceptives.”

“I think everyone assumed you were probably a virgin who was taken advantage of by that older man you were seeing.”

She laughed. “The boy in question was twenty to my seventeen and I think I scared him.”

Rieekan laughed. “I was referring to the older men you played Sabacc with in the Moccoan District in Aldera City or the cantinas on Courscant, you know the freighters and the smugglers, when you thought you were sneaking around.”

Leia looked at him.

He cleared his throat.

“Carlist, if she were mine I wouldn’t have left her for two years.”

He nodded. “Who is she?”

“I don’t know. She’s mine now, but I have no idea who she is. She’s seen Vader, she feels like me and she has my eyes. That’s all I know.”

“Did they take genetic material from you Leia?” Rieekan watched her look out into the forest.

Leia nodded. “I don’t think she’s a clone.”

“I don’t either, I remember you at that age, you’re not identical enough, but it’s enough to make me want to pursue some intel on just what the Imperials are doing with their cloning operations.”

Leia nodded.

“And you and Han ought not stay here too much longer.”

“I know.”

“Which is why I’d like to move your current assignment to New Alderaan.”

Leia finished her cigarette. “We can talk about that.”

“And I want to apologize…”

She held up her hand. “Just don’t ever mention my ‘honor’ again and let’s leave it at that.”

He nodded.

“New Alderaan.” Rieekan began as they watched a holo-projection float above the caff table is in the Outer Rim in the Moddell Sector. You remember the intel you intercepted about the possible shield base for a new Death Star.” He looked at Leia.

She nodded.

“It was good intel, the shield base was definitely completed as were a few barracks and a med center.”

“Gods, that was right after the Battle of Yavin.”

Rieekan nodded. “We started funneling refugees there almost immediately and they have done very well at rebuilding a bustling settlement. Not that they don’t struggle, there is a very high suicide rate among survivors.”

Han looked at Leia remembering a time when he'd hidden all of the knives, vibroblades and any other weapon she could have used to end her life on the Falcon. He'd remembered how badly she’d wanted to die how she’d pleaded with him. He’d never forget the agony in her eyes. He sighed slipping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her to him, kissing the top of her head and just holding her.

Rieekan looked at them.

“Han saw way too much for a while there.” Leia spoke quietly. “It was very difficult to stay alive for the first six months.”

Luke looked at her.

“I’m fine now.”

“I’m so sorry you went through that, the Alliance should have been there to support you more.” Rieekan spoke up.

She shook her head. “I only wanted Han, he seemed to know exactly what to do.”

Rieekan nodded and cleared his throat. “Due to the high suicide rate there are quite a few orphans.”

Han looked at Kira sleeping in Leia’s arms and wondered if she was one of them. “What would Leia be doing?”

“She would be acting as a liaison between the Alliance and the Diaspora Alderaani, mostly working with sentient rights, rehousing, basic needs, restarting Alderaani businesses. I thought that you would be good at assisting with infrastructure.” Rieekan looked up from his data pad.

Han nodded. “So what she was actually trained to do before she became a spy.”

Rieekan nodded looking at his chrono. “Hiding on the outer rim but still doing good work for the rebellion and her own people. I’ve got to get going.” He got up shutting off his holo projector. “Will that assignment suit you?”

Leia nodded rising to walk him to the door.

“There’s one more thing.” Rieekan spoke shouldering his bag. “There are unconfirmed rumors that Bail and Breha are alive and living in the settlement. The Diaspora Alderaani are very distrusting of the Alliance brass post cataclysm, so no one will confirm it.”


	5. Blue Milk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter, the next will be longer but I didn't want to combine five and six into one single chapter. This seemed like a good breaking point. 
> 
> Trigger Warning: Disassociation

Leia looked at the General and Luke saw her eyes flash for the second time that afternoon. Han grabbed her shoulders just in case, but she kept her footing. She wasn’t going to faint like some weak willed diplomat’s wife. She gritted her teeth like she had on the Death Star when the pain had almost taken her over. This felt a lot like that but different. “How long have you known?” She spoke keeping her tone even and pushing all of her emotions down and out of her face and her voice. Leia had one hell of a Sabacc face.

“I… it’s unconfirmed.” Rieekan stammered, he was surprised by her complete lack of reaction and was not sure what to make of it.

“Let’s try this again Carlist." Leia spoke again, her voice sharper this time. "How long have you known it was possible?” She corrected.

“There were rumors from the beginning that the Viceroy left Alderaan when he heard of your death, to retrieve your body and take you home.”

Leia’s eyes narrowed, but she kept her breathing steady, her calm was rather terrifying even to Luke. She had joked at one point that she’d made Vader nervous, Han could totally see how. Han looked over at Luke and watched him try to reach her.

(Don’t). She shot back at Luke hard, hard enough that his nose bled and he took a couple steps back.

“Luke?” Han looked at him. “Do you remember how to get to the touch port?”

“Yeah.” He wiped his nose.

“Take the General and get him the hell out of here.” Han spoke offering the only solution he could think of to diffuse the situation.

“No, I’m fine Han.” Leia lied and Han let her. “Carlist, how sure are you?”

“Leia, it’s unconfirmed and they don’t even know you’re alive.” Rieekan spoke. “I’ve been trying to get some sort of meet set up with their leaders but they won’t do it. They won’t let any of our ships past the shields.”

“Shields?” Han looked at him.

“They’ve repurposed the shield generator to wrap the planet to prevent another cataclysm.”

And that’s when her knees betrayed her, when she saw the blast again. When she identified with the sheer desperation of her people and saw her home blown to oblivion right in front of her eyes projected in the space between she and the General. She reached out and steadied herself on the console table by the doorway. Han caught it, but neither Luke nor Carlist did.

“Han, the General has a to get going, would you please take him back to his transport?” Leia turned to him and her eyes were wrong.

“Lei…”

“Han, I’m fine.” She lied again and he let her.

Luke heard an odd noise and looked over his shoulder to see one of the empty caff mugs floating in mid air.

“Are you sure?”

She nodded. “Carlist, it was very good to see you. I think it would behoove you to have more information for me when Han and I touch base to pickup the rest of my things.”

“I’ll do my best.”

Han moved to embrace her as he left and she shook her head. “Please don’t.” She whispered and he knew in that moment, that she was starting to disassociate and fighting it as hard as she could. “Han, please hurry.” She whispered.

“I will. Luke, walk us out.”

Luke jogged after Han. “What’s up?”

Han shook his head and spoke in low tones so that the General wouldn’t hear. “Leia’s not herself.”

Luke nodded.

“Stay out of her head, don’t touch her even if you think she wants you to, she will tell you when you can touch her, sit with her, let her talk, don’t make her talk, don’t ask questions, make her something warm like caff or tea, start a fire in the fireplace, be present but give her space. I’ll be back as soon as I can, Kira will probably stay asleep, Leia is pretty good at clear minding her, but if she wakes up she’s easy. She likes stories and to play, she likes chocolate blue milk and asking questions, she also really likes to be close.”

Luke nodded. “I got it.”

“Thanks kid.”

Luke let himself into Han’s house, he watched Leia stare out the back doors into the forest for a moment and then moved to the lounge to clean up the caff service that was still sitting out. He didn’t speak to her, he just moved. He started water to boil after he figured out how to use the manual stove and moved to the fireplace to start a fire for Leia. Fires calmed her, she could use the movement of the flames to focus and ground herself. She watched him build a good fire base just like she’d taught him during one of their famous dinner picnics on Yavin IV. She’d taught most of the Rogues to build fires, just in case they were caught out. Fire building was a good skill to have, even in the desert it was cold at night.

The fire took and Luke went back to the kitchen to make tea. He watched Leia stare into the fire her arms wrapped tightly around herself as if trying to physically hold the shattered pieces of herself together. How did Han do it, how did he resist the urge to just gather her into his arms and hold her when she was like this? She was just so vulnerable and lost deep within her own mind watching a replay of some old trauma, he was pretty sure which one, over and over again. He watched her cross to the bantha leather sofa and sit down, still staring into the fire.

“That’s not yours.” Leia spoke quietly as he set a mug of tea on the caff table and sat down with a glass of Kira’s chocolate bantha milk.

“Oh.” He looked the bluish brown milk. “I uh… I hadn't had it since I was little and…” He stammered nervously.

Leia smiled. “Did you really order blue milk in a cantina?” She looked at him.

“Han told you about that, did he?” Luke blushed.

She nodded. “Well? Did you?”

He nodded. “Got in a fight too.”

“Well, it’s no wonder.” Leia laughed, she laughed so hard that tears streamed down her face.

“It’s not that funny.” Luke started.

“It’s that funny.” She turned to him and put her hand on his shoulder. “You were in one of the roughest cantina’s in the galaxy and you ordered a blue milk.” She laughed.

He frowned at her. “Like you’d know about rough cantinas.”

“I would.” She cleared her throat trying to stop laughing. “I’m quite the Sabacc player.”

“You?”

She nodded.

“Does Han know?”

She shook her head.

Luke laughed. “Your secret is safe with me.” He spoke taking a drink of his blue milk.

“So, still taste the same?”

“Yeah.” He marveled.

“I guess I’ll start keeping a little extra around for when you come and visit us.”

Luke smiled. “Speaking of us. What’s going on with you and Han?"


	6. Luke and Leia

Leia smiled and got up crossing to the fireplace. Luke watched her take her cigarettes out of a little wooden box on the mantel. “Coming?”

“What about Kira?”

Leia tapped her temple. “Who needs a baby monitor when you have the force?” She stepped outside. Luke followed and watched her light up.

“I figured you’d quit.”

“You kidding?” Leia laughed. “If I could quit smoking I could take over the world.”

Luke smiled.

“I’ll quit eventually.” She spoke with her cigarette between her teeth unbraiding her hair. “For Kira, most likely. That nerf’s ass friend of yours needs to quit too, you know.”

Luke raised an eyebrow at her. He’d never seen her with her hair down.

“What?”

“You’ve relaxed a lot lately.”

Leia smiled at him. “Luke, this place is the closet to a home I’ve had since Alderaan and being out here in this temperate rainforest feels so much like the forests back home that I feel more like myself than I have in a very long time.”

Luke nodded.

“So you want to know about me and the smuggler?” She took a long drag.

“Yeah, you told the General that you and Han were lovers.” He looked at his hands nervously.

“We’re not.” She sighed. “Not in the traditional sense. Not yet.”

“Will you be?” He looked at her.

Leia smiled. “It’s definitely trending in that direction.”

“How long has it been trending in that direction?” He leaned on the railing and turned toward her.

Leia bit her thumbnail. “Since the very beginning.”

“Since the Death Star?” Luke marveled at the idea of Han and Leia in a slow moving relationship for as long has he'd known them. Luke had never seen Han act quite like he was acting here in the forests of Corellia and he wondered if this was the Han that Leia saw all of the time. He smiled at her.

She nodded. “I was in pretty bad shape, and you were still so innocent…” She sighed. “I didn’t want you to see me all beat up, you didn’t need to know and I had this overwhelming need to protect from all of that. So, Han hid me in one of the cargo holds and helped me clean up and comforted me through my nightmares. He was wonderful.”

Luke nodded. “I could have helped you.”

“I know that Luke, it’s not that you could or couldn’t have." She put her hand over his reassuringly. "I just didn’t want you to see it.”

“You’re my best friend Leia.” He looked at her.

“But I wasn’t back then.” She shook her head and looked at the forest floor.

He nodded. “So, how serious is it between you and Han.”

“Well, I think we’ve unofficially decided to raise Kira together.”

“Are you going to get married?”

“I don’t know.” She spoke to the greenery below them.

“Would you?”

“Marry Han?”

Luke nodded.

“If he asked, I wouldn't tell him no.” She looked at him.

“So if he gave you a Corellian love stone…”

“Wait, a what?” Leia laughed.

“A Corellian love stone, Wedge was telling me about them the other night.”

Leia raised an eyebrow at him. “How is your boyfriend?”

Luke tucked his chin and smiled. “He’s good, we're good.”

“Just good?" She smiled at him, delighted that Wedge made Luke happy. "You asked me about mine, I get to ask you about yours.” She put out her cigarette.

“Is Han your boyfriend?”

She smiled. “I think we’ve moved somewhere beyond that, but I don’t know what to call it.”

“Um…” Luke reached out to slip his arm around her. “Oh, wait. Han said not to touch you.”

“I’m okay now.”

Luke slipped his arm around her.

“Tell me about Corellian love stones.” Leia spoke resting her head against his shoulder and trying not to laugh at the idea.

“Someone needs to, or you’ll laugh at Han at the wrong time.”

Leia bit her bottom lip trying to keep a straight face.

“Leia, if you can’t keep a straight face, you’ll hurt his feelings.”

She cleared her throat as Han let himself in the front door.

“Damn it.” He grumbled picking up Luke’s half finished blue chocolate milk. “Hey kid.” He let himself out onto the deck. “If you’re gonna drink my little girl’s chocolate blue milk, at least finish it.”

“Han.” Leia spoke up. “I dragged him out here so I could smoke.”

“Are you okay?”

She nodded.

Han handed Luke the glass of blue milk. “Rieekan’s lucky I didn’t bury him in those woods.” He spoke slipping his arms around her.

“You wouldn't do that.”

He sighed. “You’re right.” He kissed her gently.

Luke cleared his throat.

“Han.” She spoke rubbing his chest gently. “I was having a conversation with Luke.”

“And I was worried about you.” He pressed his forehead against herse.

“I’m fine.” Leia’s face shifted. “Hmm.”

“What is it sweetheart?" He stroked her cheek. "You’ve got force face?”

“Kira’s awake.”

“I’ll go.” Han kissed her forehead. “I was thinking of moving the Falcon to the clearing so that Luke could have a more comfortable place to spread out than the couch. You think she’d like a ride?”

Leia smiled at him. “I think she’d love it.”

Han kissed her quickly. “Then I am going to take my little girl on an adventure.” He spoke breaking their embrace.

Leia smiled at him.

“Luke." Han pointed at him. "Easy on the milk kid.”

“Sure thing, Han.”

Leia cleared her throat.

“Who is that guy and where did you bury Han Solo.”

Leia shrugged. “That’s Han.”

“So, has he always been like this for you?

“Yes.” She spoke walking inside. “I think I have a bottle or two of that wine from Aldera he hoards for me on the Falcon.”

Luke smiled following her inside. “I would love a glass of wine, that rotgut that Jensen brews in his fuel tanks taste horrible.”

“They’re corrupting you.” Leia chided.

“Of course they are, I’m sleeping with their leader.” Luke spoke sitting down at the eat in bar. “This is beautiful.” He ran his hand over the burls. “Where did he find it?”

“He made it, just like everything else in this house. Luke, he built this house and everything in it, by hand.” Leia spoke struggling with the corkscrew.

“You want me to get that?” Luke reached for it.

She sighed. “Fucking hands.”

“What happened to them?” He looked at her with that innocent empathetic look he sometimes got, his big innocent blue eyes soft and full of concern.

She shook her head sliding the wine and the corkscrew over to him. “Yet another reminder of my stay on the Death Star.”

“What did they do to you Leia?”

“What didn’t they do?” She rubbed her dominant hand.

He nodded.

“It’ll pass, it always does. I have traps in my good memories that were set by Vader and pain that is sometimes constant and some times comes and goes. Mostly it’s bearable but sometimes it’s overwhelming.”

“That’s horrible Leia, what’s it from?”

“Palpatine made a little visit, he’s pretty good with force lightning.”

“Gods.” Luke whispered.

“A couple of good hits to the spine would paralyze or kill most people. Guess, I’m not most people.” She rubbed her hand.

“Does Han know?”

She nodded. “Of course he knows, he patched me up on the Falcon.”

Han walked in carrying Kira on his shoulders. She had her arms out like an X-Wing, like Fane used to. Leia smiled at them. “Ready for your adventure?”

“Uh huh.”

Han swung her down. “Give mumma a hug.”

Leia wrapped her arms around her and held her close. “You be good and do everything that your daddy tells you to do.”

Kira nodded.

Han could tell by the way she held Kira that Leia hurt. “You okay?”

Leia nodded.

“I’ll um… bring you some aceto from the medical bay.”

She nodded. “Loved, why don’t you go to daddy?”

“Okay mumma.”

“Can you say ‘bye’ to your uncle Luke?”

“Bye uncle Luke.”

“Bye Kira.” He smiled at her. “You be a good co-pilot for your dad.”

She smiled.

Leia smiled watching Luke and Kira interact for the first time.

"Hey." Han leaned over and kissed her gently. Luke watched them surprised by how easy it was to forget that he hadn't known about their relationship and how natural this odd little family seemed. "You sure you're okay." Han spoke gently.

Leia nodded. "I'm fine, you two go have fun."

Han kissed Leia one last time. “Come on Junior Captain Organa-Solo.” He put Kira back on his shoulders. “To the Falcon.”

Leia smiled at them, father and daughter goofing off in the kitchen making and good memories that Kira would never forget. (Kira Organa-Solo) she repeated to herself. They’d never really talked about what her birth certificate would look like. They did need to get one made, she’d add that to her ‘‘to do at the base list.’’

“Leia?” Luke spoke uncorking the wine.

She looked at him. “What?”

“Where were you?” He spoke pouring them each a glass of wine.

She smiled at him. “Kira didn’t have a last name until just now.”

“Why not?”

“Luke, Han and I found her in the marketplace she didn’t come with her filmsies.”

“You what?”

“I felt her and I looked over and there she was with these street kids and they were using her for sympathy. I lost it Luke, I got so upset that Han sent me to the speeder while he negotiated with them.”

“What did he give them?”

“No, idea. He asked me not to ask him, so I haven’t.”

“She feels like she’s yours.”

Leia nodded.

“And she’s totally at ease with both of you as if she were your own.”

“Someone loved her as a baby, or she wouldn’t be. I know enough from some of the psychology classes I took when I was at Uni that she’d be a lot different if she hadn’t been nurtured by someone early on.”

Luke nodded. “So, you’re practically living together, and we all know you sneak onto the Falcon every night when you’re on base.”

Leia narrowed her eyes at him. “How do you know about that?”

“Hey, the Rogues have to keep themselves entertained between missions somehow.”

Leia sipped her wine. “My troops should not be concerning themselves with who I choose to sleep with.”

“Leia, your troops are practically your family.” Luke corrected. “Your band of brothers and sisters.”

She smiled shaking her head, she knew he was right.

“So, you’re practically living together and you have been since the Battle of Yavin, I’ve never actually seen you in your quarters and it sounds like that’s been going on for a while. Why haven’t you gone to bed with him?”

“Well, until we got here that was all me. He’d been talking about leaving from the very beginning. I wasn’t going to go all the way with him. I’d told him all of my secrets and I’d let him see me at my most vulnerable. I’d let myself fall in love with him, but I had convinced myself that as long as I didn't go to bed with him it wouldn’t hurt when he left. That and part of me was convinced that he’d leave as soon as we went to bed together. So, naturally I felt that if we just drew it out a little longer I could convince him to join up and Rieekan would take care of his Hutt problem.”

Luke nodded sipping his wine. “So, why won’t he step up?” He leaned on the bar. “What’s the big deal?”

Leia sighed. “He had a family Luke, this was their home. He built it with his hands for his wife and his daughter. That’s where all of the toys and some of Kira’s clothes came from. They were his daughter’s, they were Fane’s. Fane and her mother were killed by a suicide bomber in the marketplace.”

“I don't understand, that’s even more reason to join.”

Leia shook her head. “No, Luke listen to me, you’ve forgotten that Corellia is traditionally an Imperial planet, the suicide bomber was a Rebel. He believes in the rebellion and the Alliance but he can’t join and I’m not going to force him. He’s not going anywhere and it’s never been about a lack of commitment or not wanting the responsibility. He told me the other night that when he thinks about joining up he sees their bodies in the rubble, just like he found them. His nightmares are almost as bad as mine.” She warmed her wine with her hands. “And I love him enough to let it go.”

Luke nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“That’s why he reacted the way he did when Carlist put him in a corner about it.” She sipped her wine. “He’s still so raw and being here has been wonderful, but difficult for him. He sees them everywhere he looks.”

“Is that why you haven’t been able to be go to bed with him here?”

Leia nodded. “It’s the perfect setting, no real interruptions. Kira sleeps like the dead, there are no hyperspace alarms, no Rogues spying on us and making bets.”

“So…” Luke gestured at her.

“He got rid of almost all of Sulen’s things but he didn’t get rid of their marriage bed.”

“So he can’t…”

She shook her head.

“Buy a new bed.”

“We did.”

“And?”

“My cycle, I went on the implant and it activated my cycle.”

“Gods.” Luke groaned. “Anything else go wrong?”

Leia smiled and bit her lip. “Well, my cycle is over, but now you’re here.”

Luke laughed. “Which is why Han is moving the Falcon.”

Leia nodded.

“So maybe tonight?”

She blushed and covered her face. “If it’s not tonight, then you’re babysitting Kira and I’m taking Han up in the Falcon and locking him in the forward hold until something happens.”

“You might have to be the one to get things started, I mean if he’s that impacted by being here. You might just have to take a more active role.”

Leia sighed into her hands. “Am I really taking sex advice from the innocent Jedi farm boy?”

Luke laughed. “This innocent farm boy has a pretty healthy sex life Leia.”

Leia looked at him. “Gods, I’m such an asshole, of course you do. You and Wedge have a beautiful relationship.”

Luke smiled at her. “Well, we don’t have as much baggage as you and Han do and we never tried to hide it like you and Han did.”

She ran her fingers through her hair. “Enough of my sexually frustrating life. How are you? How are you and Wedge? Talk, please talk to me.”

Luke laughed. “Things are good.”

“I haven’t seen you since before Ord Mantell, you’ve got to give me more than ‘things are good’. I told you about my Corellian lover it’s your turn to tell me about yours.”

“I hadn’t even thought about that.”

“Talk farm boy.” She poked his chest.

“Fine, but you have to tell me about tonight, in the morning.”

“If anything happens.”

“Either way.”

She sighed. “I know he wants me, I can tell by the way he looks at me, but there’s this little voice in the back of my head that tells me he doesn’t.”

Luke laughed. “Leia, everyone knows he wants you. Things have been so hot between the two of you from so early on that there are betting pools about where and when you’re finally going to do it and how far you’ve already gone."

“Whoa.” Kira gasped when she saw the Falcon for the first time.

“Whatcha think, bitsy?”

She looked at him with her big brown eyes as big as saucers.

“Pretty neat huh?”

She nodded.

“This, this is the Millennium Falcon, the fastest ship in the galaxy. The best part? She’s ours.”

Kira smiled and watched him palm the door controls.

“Want to go flying bitsy?” He spoke sitting down in his chair.

She nodded watching him restart the Falcon. He had told Leia he was moving the Falcon for Luke, but he was more worried about how safe she actually was at this point. He’d “patched her together to hold” more times that he could count and they'd taken some damage on the way back from Ord Mantell. He’d never really worried that much about the safety of the Falcon just her speed, but now with the very real prospect of taking her into hyperspace with Kira aboard, he wanted to move her closer so that he could work on her and make sure that she was safe enough to travel with his family onboard. His family, he liked the sound of that. Leia and their daughter. It was easy for them to say that Kira was theirs, but he had no idea how to define his relationship with Leia. He loved her but he wasn’t sure what she was ready for or how she saw things between them. He’d be there for Kira, no matter what happened between he and Leia. He loved her like he loved Fane and she filled the void that losing Fane had left. Han knew that whatever happened between he and Leia, Kira would always be his little girl and he’d never let her down.

“Daddy fly?”

“Soon princess. It takes her a minute to warm up.”

Fastest pilot in the galaxy, Kira’s daddy and Leia’s… whatever he was for her. He tousled Kira’s hair watching the Falcon come online system by system. “Ready to fly princess?”

“Fly, daddy.”

Han smiled. “You’re either gonna love this or we’re both gonna need to change our pants princess.” He kissed her temple.

The Falcon streaked over the small rock and wood home.

“Kriff.” Leia steadied her wineglass as the entire home shook and the dishes shook and rattled in the cupboards.

Luke laughed. “They are having a great time up there.”

She laughed she too could feel Kira's excitement as the Falcon flew overhead. “Daddy’s girl.”

He smiled. “What’s it going to look like?”

“What?”

“Raising Kira, you and Han?”

Leia shrugged. “I have no idea, we’re just figuring it out as we go along. She calls him daddy and she calls me mumma.”

“Han says that his job is to keep the monsters away.”

Leia nodded. “Yeah, that pretty much sums it up, we keep each other’s monsters away and now we keep hers away too.” She sipped her wine. “You haven’t told me anything about you and Wedge.”

Luke laughed. “You’re not going to let that go are you?”

“No.”

He sighed. “We’ve been keeping up your dinner picnic tradition.”

“Just the two of you?”

Luke nodded. “I build a fire and we sit together and talk about our day and eat our shitty rations without Han’s exotic perishable deliveries to make it palatable. Aside from the food, it’s really nice.”

“I wish he could have arranged his R&R with yours.”

“He’s going to drop in on his way back to base, he’s taken over your intel missions since you've been here.”

“Good, it’d be nice to see him.”

Luke nodded.

Leia sighed. “It’s just not the same.”

“What?”

“Before Alderaan was destroyed my sister Winter and I used to get together and drink wine and talk about our boyfriends. You’re so tight lipped Luke.”

He laughed. “I could paint your toenails, would that help?”

She shook her head and smiled at him. “No, it’s fine Luke, I just miss my sister.”

“You’re lonely.”

She nodded. “I love you and Han and the Rogues and I’ve known Mon and Jan and Carlist most of my life and I’ve tried to befriend some of the female pilots but my connection to High Command makes them keep their distance. You’re my best friend Luke, but you’re not my sister.


	7. Leia and Han

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut. If you're bothered by smut, or if it makes you uncomfortable feel free to skip this chapter. Leia and Han finally fix their intimacy problems.

Leia lie in the new bed, their bed. The bed that wasn’t Han and Sulen’s marriage bed listening to Han sing a Corellian space shanty in the ensuite fresher shower. Before the days of space travel Corellians had a long history of sea travel and exploration. Centuries ago Han would have been some sort of kind-hearted sea pirate and she would have been some sort of unattainable ideal. She smiled to herself snuggling deeper into the soft new bedding and warm comforters. She felt like she was relearning how to have interpersonal relationships and she hoped that she and Han would be a successful experiment.

Han watched her off somewhere else, deep in her thoughts or making sure that Kira was sleeping peacefully or maybe she was even checking in on Luke. “Lei?” He spoke drying his hair. “She okay?”

“Who?” Leia looked at him.

“Kira?”

“She’s fine why?”

“Force face.” He spoke getting into bed with her.

She shook her head and curled up with him. “I was thinking.”

“You looked upset about something.” He spoke reaching across his body to drag his finger tips along her upper arm from shoulder to elbow and back again.

“I think I hurt Luke’s feelings.”

“How?”

She sighed and moved onto her back. “This war has taken so much from me.”

“What do you mean?” He spoke moving onto his side staying with her as he propped himself up on his elbow.

“It’s like I’ve forgotten how to have meaningful relationships with people.”

“That’s not true.” He spoke slipping some loose tendrils of her hair behind her ear. “You and I have a very meaningful relationship.”

She smiled at him. “I need to apologize to him.”

“Tomorrow.” Han stroked her cheek. “You can apologize to him tomorrow.”

“I just feel so dehumanized sometimes. Like I’ve forgotten how to connect with people.”

“I don’t think that’s true. I think you’ve told yourself that to protect yourself from your emotions, to keep from getting hurt, to keep from feeling loss when someone you care about dies. If you couldn’t connect with people, you wouldn’t be so tightly bonded with that sweet little girl sleeping across the hall. You know the one, who starting to forget that you weren’t always her mumma.”

Leia moved onto her side to face him but kept her head on her pillow.

“And you and I connected just fine.”

“Are you sure about that Han?” She spoke looking up into his eyes.

He nodded.

“Then why are you afraid of me?”

He furrowed his eyebrows at her. “I don’t follow.”

“Sometimes I feel like you’re afraid of me.”

“Listen sweetheart, I ain’t afraid of nothin’ especially not some bitty princess.”

“Oh no tough guy?” She spoke sitting up. “Then why won’t you go to bed with me?”

“Is that a dare your highnessness?”

She nodded. “Prove it.” She crossed her arms across her chest. “Prove that you’re not afraid of me.”

He sat up next to her.

She looked at him. “I told Luke that if we didn’t figure this out soon, I was going to having him babysit Kira and take you up in the Falcon.” She turned to him and ran her fingers through his chest hair. She pressed her hand to his sternum and could feel his heart pounding.

“You told Luke?”

“Of course I told Luke, he’s my best friend.”

Han sighed. “And what was your plan once you got me on the Falcon?”

“I was going to lock you in the foreword hold until something happened.”

“Never done this on the Falcon.” He ran his fingers through his hair.

“You’ve never had a woman on your ship?”

“You’ve forgotten, I didn’t own the Falcon when Sulen was alive and I haven’t been with anyone since she died.”

Leia looked up into his hazel eyes, they were wide and soft around the edges. She could see his want, his need in the way that he looked at her and she could feel his conflict. “Han.” She spoke gently running her fingers along the line of his jaw. “Come here.” She spoke from somewhere deep in her throat, her voice deeper and smokier than normal. Maybe Luke was right, she thought as she watched Han lean toward her, maybe she would have to take the first step. She kissed him gently at first, almost chaste letting Han catch up, letting his brain process and choose his next step. She felt his hands working at the hem of her shirt. She pulled her shirt off.

“Gods.” He spoke taking her in sitting there in just a pair of deep red underwear that were clearly a part of a more intricate lingerie set. He loved her in rich deep colors, and he’d seen her modest camisole set but these were different, they were in his favorite color and they were delicate barely covering anything at all. She'd been wearing them with one of his old T-shirts which was even sexier than if she’d been wearing whatever the full lingerie set was. She’d worn them just for him, just enough but not too much.

“What?” She spoke watching him look at her as his hand drew designs between her breasts, dragging his thumb from the dip in her collar bone slowly down between her breasts down the soft tender skin of her stomach until he hit the low slung fabric of her underwear, low enough that her gut tightened causing her to gasp involuntarily. His hand had traced this trail on several occasions but only ever under her clothes. He’d never seen the places his hands had gone, he’d been imagining these places in his mind for longer than they would ever admit to the Rogues. He’d blindly drawn a topographical map of Leia’s body with each stroke of his hand and even his keen imagination hadn’t prepared him for how beautiful she was as she sat before him in her deep red underwear, her hair loose partially obscuring her breasts.

She watched him brush her hair back behind her shoulder suddenly feeling self conscious of her breasts, her nipples were darker than those she’d seen on the girls in those old data files Winter had showed her when they were younger. Han had told her long ago when they’d started their occasional make out sessions on the base, that she was beautiful and she wondered if he still felt that way.

“Gods Leia.” He whispered with reverence in his voice as he leaned into kiss her. Her entire body flushed as he parted her lips with his tongue, moving her onto her back in one smooth motion. He stayed next to her keeping his weight off of her resting his body against her propping himself up with one arm as he worked. She ran her fingers through his hair as his lips traced down her neck as his free hand worked her breasts. He stopped and looked into her eyes again watching her eyes and her face for any signs of distress. “Still okay?”

She nodded catching her breath.

He kissed her again and she could feel his urgency in it. He kissed her like a starving man, he kissed her like he was already inside of her. She moaned feeling his hand drift down, down and under the delicate shimmer silk of her underwear. The kiss broke when she involuntarily tilted her head back as his hand found her. He smiled kissing her neck and then her throat feeling her moan before he heard her. He focused on her breasts for a while, spending equal amount of time with both until.

“Please.” Leia breathed. “Han please.” She moaned.

He smiled at her and carefully peeled off the dark red shimmer silk, careful not to tear them, he hoped they’d be making regular appearance now. She grabbed the headboard above her resisting the urge to grab his head and watched him bury his face between her thighs and slipping his arm behind her back to hold her in place, holding her hips up as he drove her closer to the edge holding her there until she was sure she was losing her mind and then finally letting her fall. He watched her keeping his long fingers in their place moving just enough as he kissed his way back up the soft skin of her stomach and the now hypersensitive skin of her nipples. He kissed her neck and eventually found his way back to her lips so soft and swollen. He wiped his hand on the fresh sheets and pressed his body against her, resting in the cradle of her pelvis kissing her lazily and watching her catch her breath.

“Gods.” She breathed.

He smiled at her. “Talk to me.” He spoke, his voice more of a low rumble in his chest than a sound. “Tell me what you want.”

“You.” She breathed, looking into his eyes her pupils still dilated and her skin flushed.

He slipped out of his shorts, he was so warm and unbelievably hard his skin so soft. She looked down where there bodies were pressed together.

“You sure?”

She nodded.

He reached across her into the bedside table retrieving a small vial.

“What’s that?” She spoke thickly.

He smiled at her. “Lube.”

She laughed.

“Trust me.” He spoke wiping the excess off on her.

She gasped and smiled at him. He paused for a moment and looked into her eyes as if this moment was sacred as if he were swearing an oath to her. She nodded and felt her body stretch as he held her eyes, his movements slow and careful, Gods he didn’t want to hurt her. She shifted to accommodate him matching his rhythm and maybe urging him on a bit. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to come again but he felt so good that she relaxed and let her body sync with his. She watched his face, so serious his eyebrows knitted and his jaw a tight line. He reached down with his free hand and found that hard place his mouth had found earlier. She gasped as he used his thumb to bring her back to her original climax desperate to make her come. She lifted her hips up and dragged her nails up his sides digging in deep. She’d never come twice but here she was, her body reacting without her mind and for a moment, she couldn’t hear anything but the blood rushing in her ears as Han crashed down on top of her. He moved onto his back not wanting to keep his weight on her for too long. She lie next to him, shoulders touching each trying to catch her breath.

“Gods Han.” She breathed curling up with him.

“You okay?” He breathed pulling her close.

She nodded.

Leia awoke the next morning, sore in places that made her smile. Han was snoring next to her, she must have worn him out. She smiled and got up to take a shower. He grabbed her wrist gently.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

He smiled at her. “I love you.”

She hadn’t told him that Rieekan was going to take care of his Hutt problem and so he wasn’t expecting her to say it back.

She smiled at him. “Love you too nerf herder.


	8. Corellian Gothic

“Wait.” He grabbed her wrist gently. “Did you just tell me you loved me?” 

She nodded. 

“You just said the words out loud?” 

She smiled at him. 

“I thought someday you’d say it, but I never thought you’d proclaim your love for me naked as the day you were born.” He sat up. 

Leia laughed. 

“Come here.” He spoke gently, suddenly aware that he was holding her wrist a little tighter than he meant to. 

She sat down on the edge of the bed with him and watched him. His eyes were open again and soft around the edges. 

“Where were you going just now?” He asked quietly as if he didn't want to be away from her. He sounded so—so vulnerable.

“We fell asleep before I had a chance to clean up.” She blushed a little. “I don’t want to get cystitis. I’ll come back.” 

He smiled at her. “Want me to make some caff while you do that?” 

“That would be very nice.” She smiled at him. “But we’ll meet back here.” 

He kissed her gently the back of his hand brushing her breast. “You sure you don’t want a fancy prince?” 

“You’re handsome enough.” She kissed him. “I could dress you up like one if needed to.” She spoke running her hand down his chest and over the tight muscles of his stomach. “We could put you in Alderaani dress blues with a cape and a saber.” She spoke against his lips. “I could have you made to look just as fancy as any royal suitor.” She kissed his throat following the trail of burning nerve endings and tightened muscles that her hand had left. “You know what the difference would be?” 

“Huh uh.” He murmured gripping the headboard with both hands resisting the urge to touch her head, he knew better but it was a strong reflex, he knew where he wanted those lips to go. 

“I love you.” She spoke pulling back the sheets. 

“Gods.” He groaned never expecting the sensation of her her mouth there. She'd obviously done this before, but gods he didn’t care. He was still sensitive from the night before and he knew he didn’t have long. He reached down to move her hair, to get it out of the way and she slapped his hand, hard and reached up and twisted her hair out of her face. He dug his heels into the mattress and watched her, the Princess of Alderaan giving him a “good morning blow job." He’d have never believed it if it weren't happening. “Leia.” He groaned. “Leia, you gotta… gotta.” He stumbled over his words, his brain a jumble of sensations and half phrases and non worlds. “I’m…I’m…” He tried to stop his body but it was like trying to stop a Star Destroyer with no reverse thrusters. He could see it happening but he couldn’t stop it. “Leia.” He groaned as his entire body went rigid and then relaxed. “Shit.” He breathed holding perfectly still, waiting for her to be angry, insulted, hurt… he wasn’t sure, but he was positive he was supposed to stop her first.

“I thought you'd like that.” She sat up as if it were the most mundane thing in the world. 

He stared at her as she got up. 

“What?” She looked at him. 

He looked at his lap. “You’re not angry?” 

She laughed. “Why would I be angry?” 

“I meant to stop you but…” He looked at her. 

She kissed him. “Han, I’m a grown woman, if I were that worried about it I’d have stopped when you were close.” 

He nodded. 

“I’m going to take a shower.” 

He watched her walk to the ensuite fresher. “I guess that answers that question.” He mumbled. 

“Is there a Rogue Squadron betting pool about that too?” She looked over her shoulder at him. 

“There better not be.” Han crossed his arms across his chest. “I’ll kick Wedginalds’ ass.” 

She laughed walking into the ensuite fresher. “If there is I bet you could win that one for sure.” 

Han could smell caff when he stepped out of his bedroom. He was glad he’d put on pants, the last thing he needed was give the kid a show he hadn’t asked for. “Morning.” He spoke greeting Luke firmly wondering how long he’d been in the kitchen reading on his data pad. 

“Morning.” Luke looked up from his data pad. 

“Thanks for making caff.” Han spoke tightly. 

“I couldn’t find any on the Falcon.” He spoke going back to what he was reading. 

“Sorry about that, I raided the galley yesterday.” Han leaned into the concerverator to retrieve so sweet cream for Leia's coffee. 

Luke noticed the scratches on Han’s side and raised an eyebrow at him. 

“What?” Han looked over his shoulder at him. 

He shook his head and went back to reading. 

“Have you had breakfast, kid?” Han sighed knowing exactly what Luke was implying. 

“No.”

“Hmm, well I’m hungry…” Han spoke rooting around in the concerverator. 

“I’d bet you are.” Luke spoke under his breath. 

“What?” Han looked at him. 

Luke held his palms up at him and stifled a laugh, but Han could see it all over him. He shook his head and went back to figuring out what to make for breakfast. 

“Han.” Leia walked in. “I thought you were coming back to bed.” 

“We have company sweetheart, didn’t want to be rude.” 

Leia eyed the scratches she’d left on his sides as he completed his search and straightened up. She looked at Luke and who grinned at her and winked. “I’m um, I’m going to go check on Kira.” Leia spoke feeling suddenly underdressed in just her thin kimono. 

“Did you sleep alright on the Falcon, kid?” Han spoke lighting the manual stove. 

“Yeah, but I got to admit it was odd being the only on onboard. I could almost hear Chewie bitching about Leia taking real water showers.” Luke laughed. 

Han laughed. “You must have pretty good ears kid, Chewie’s on Kashyyyk visiting his family.” 

Luke sipped his caff. 

“Listen kid. Do me a favor?” Han leaned on the eat-in bar. 

“What’s that?” 

“Have the discretion to not treat this like some intel gathering mission on behalf of the Rogue Squadron.” Leia spoke walking back in with Kira on her hip. 

Han looked at her. 

“Put on a shirt Han, you look like you were attacked by a Rixx cat.” She handed him a clean shirt. 

“Yeah, it was the damnedest thing Lei, bitty thing…” He pulled on the shirt. “Must’ve left the backdoor open.” 

“Hmm.” She examined a bite mark on his neck. “Maybe we should set out some food.” 

Han chuckled and slipped his arm around her. “Probably best that I’m making breakfast.” He kissed the top of her head. 

Kira watched them and rubbed her eyes, she didn’t talk much in the morning. 

“Good morning princess.” Han spoke kissing her forehead. 

Kira smiled at him and chewed on her finger. 

“Looks like she takes after you.” Han pointed it out to Leia. 

Leia furrowed her eyebrows at him, her idiosyncrasies were for him to know about only. She hadn’t shared anything about her nervous habits or the negative effect that the force had on her with anyone but Han. They were private, and she feared they would impact her effectiveness as a leader if they ever got out. 

Han smiled at her and went back to cooking. 

“Han?” She spoke, her voice icier than it had been in a very long time. 

“Yes, your highnessness?” He joked. 

“Did you like what I gave you this morning?” Leia spoke reaching up and raking her fingers through his hair. 

He looked at her and cleared his throat. 

She smiled at him and trailed her fingers along the waist of his trousers as she walked behind him to fix her morning caff. He looked down at the response from his body and looked at her while she balanced a half asleep toddler on her hip and adjusted the caff to blue sweet cream ratio in her mug like she’d done it every day of her life. 

The force was weird, he was beginning to forget a time when Kira wasn’t with them. It was as if Kira’s force bond with Leia was now some how affecting him. He watched her sleep hitched close to Leia’s side the neck of Leia’s shirt wadded in her fist, so content and peaceful he felt his eyes fill a little, it was like having Fane back. 

“She’s tired.” Han spoke reaching around Leia’s back to smooth Kira’s hair. “And warm.” 

Leia nodded. “I think she might be sick Han.” 

“Well, she’d been living on the streets Lei, it’s be a couple of weeks, if she caught something from one of those kids, she’d just now be getting sick.” 

“I’m going to go put her in our bed and lie down with her.” 

Han nodded kissing Leia gently. “I’ll bring some breakfast in for the two of you.” 

She nodded. “You and Luke have a boys day, it’s been a while since you’ve spent time together. Go into town, raise some hell. I’ll comm you if I need you.” 

“Hey Luke.” Leia heard Han as she walked down the hall with Kira. “We should take apart your lightsaber.” 

“Why?” Luke answered. 

“‘Cause, I need to know how they work, what parts they need to work.” Han spoke. 

Leia stopped just out of sight. 

“You know, for Leia in case she needs one.” He reasoned. 

She smiled and shook her head. 

“Alright but be careful.” Luke conceded. 

“Huh uh kid, you’re taking it apart, I’m drawing up the schematics.” Han corrected. 

Leia looked down at Kira who was awake again. “Daddy and uncle Luke are silly, aren’t they?” 

“Daddy flies.” She spoke thickly. “Wanna fly.” 

“Baby, when you’re all grown up your uncle Wedge will make sure you’re on the Rogue Squadron.” Leia kissed her forehead. 

“You fly, mumma?” 

“Yes I do.” Leia spoke setting her mug of caff on the nightstand. “I used to have my own ship, but it’s gone now.” She spoke tucking her into the middle of the bed. “You stay right there. I’ll be right back.” She kissed her forehead, Han was right, she was warm. “Han?” She stepped out into the hall. 

She heard the hurried footfalls of Han running barefooted from the kitchen. 

“What’s wrong?” He grabbed her shoulders gently. 

“We don't have any medicine for her and unless we forge her paperwork, we can’t take her to the med center here.” 

Han kissed her forehead. “I’ll take care of it.” 

“We should have had her checked out before we even brought her here.” 

“I’m sure it’s just a cold.” 

“While you're out with Luke can you get her some meds?” 

He nodded. “The easiest way to get her documents forged in through High Command.” 

“Mon Mothma.” Leia sighed.

He nodded. “Make her born on the base.” 

Leia nodded. “You sure?” 

He nodded. 

“That would make her ours on paper.” Leia looked up at him. 

“She’s already ours, writing it down doesn’t change anything.” Han reassured her. 

“You don’t have to.” Leia spoke quietly, still willing to give him a way out. 

“I want to.” He kissed her gently. 

“Who knew Corellians were such rock hounds.” Luke spoke looking around the marketplace. 

“Oh come on, Wedge hasn’t told you about Corellian Love Stones?” Han laughed. 

“He has, I just didn’t realize what an industry it was.” Luke marveled at all of the different stalls and booths selling all sorts of rocks and pre-polished stones for lovers. 

Han stopped in his tracks and Luke watched that muscle in his cheek twitch. 

“What?” Luke asked feeling Han's mood darken. 

“Of all the insensitive bantha shit.” Han stared pushing up his sleeves. 

Luke followed his gaze and saw the block lettered Basic Sign that had caught Han’s eye and raised his hackles. 

Real Stones from the Alderaanian Graveyard

“Hey.” Han stalked over to the booth. “What the hell is this?” 

“Real pieces of Alderaan.” The merchant spoke proudly. 

“How many do you have?” Han gritted his teeth.

“Three left sir.” The merchant answered cheerfully. 

“You Alderaani?” Han growled. 

“No sir, Corellian.” The merchant spoke, still way too cheerful and way too fucking proud of himself for Han's liking. He could see Leia's eyes right after that first nightmare he'd witnessed. All of her terror, holding her hair back as she'd thrown up in the fresher and cried in his arms. The way she shook and how much it had hurt him when she told him that she was welcoming her pending execution. He remembered the six months he spent trying to keep her from killing herself and wondering the whole time if he was doing the right thing or if he should just let her die. No, this wasn't fucking right. 

“Uh huh.” He set some credits down. “I’ll take them all.” 

“You don't have enough credits.” The merchant laughed in his face. 

“Oh, I don’t?” He grabbed the merchant by his collar. “I’ll tell you what I do have.” He pulled him close to his face. “I have an Alderaani wife who’s ship had just come out of hyperspace when Alderaan was destroyed. She had to watch. So I think I do have enough credits. You’re going to sell me all of the pieces of my wife’s home planet you have left and if I see you around here again I’ll fucking kill you.” 

The merchant nodded. “Yes sir.” He rasped. 

Han took the rocks and the sign and stalked off with Luke. “Son of a bitch.” He growled. 

“Do you think they’re really from the graveyard?” Luke watched him tear up the sign and stuff it in a trash bin. 

“I don’t care, real or not Leia doesn’t need to see that.” Han spoke through gritted teeth. 

Luke nodded. “What are you going to do with them?” 

“No clue.” 

“Are you going to show them to Leia?” Luke watched Han stop in front of an empty store front. “Han?” 

Han looked up at the hand painted sign. Falcon Customs. He looked in the windows and saw that everything was still as he’d left it. 

“Looks like no one is home.” Luke remarked. “Doesn’t look like anyone has been here a long time.” 

Han punched in a code and the door unlocked sliding open for him like it had every morning until the bombing. 

“Han?” 

“Need to get some of this out of here.” He grumbled to himself. “Could probably sell it on New Alderaan. Need to get my tools for sure, those folks probably need a guy who can build things.” He spoke walking deeper into building. 

“Excuse me?” A woman stepped in. “Are you open?” 

Han turned slowly. “Ma’am, this place hasn’t been open in five years.” 

She sighed. “My wife and I are in love with that dinette set.” She pointed to a dark finished set near the front window. “We’ve joked about breaking in. Is this your shop?” 

“It was.” 

“I’ll pay you whatever you want for it.” 

Luke watched Han brighten. 

“I don’t have a hovervan anymore so you’ll have to figure that out yourself.” He looked at Luke. “Kid, help me get this set outside so she can take it home.” 

Han spent hours in the shop, packing up tools and running his hands over things. He propped up the open sign, figuring he could make a little money while he cleared things out. He’d sent Luke back to the house with baby aceto and the shopping from the market knowing he’d be here for a while and wanting some time alone with his memories. He'd been there for several hours when he heard precise footsteps on the pre-Republic planks. 

“Be right with you.” He spoke out of view listening to the footsteps circle the modest showroom. 

Leia had seen the work he’d done on the little house by the falls, but she was still impressed by his handy work. She knew that he could fix anything mechanical and he could build her anything she asked for but she was surprised by the artistic element to his show pieces; inlays and carvings, intricate lathe work, rich finishes, so much detail. It all seemed so contrary to the slapdash smuggler he’d made himself out to be as the Han Solo who was the Captain of the Millennium Falcon. 

Han walked out of the back room wiping his hands on a cloth and watched her. He could tell it was Leia by the footfalls when she’d entered the shop. He knew her walk, no matter how casual she was trying to be, she still had that regal straight backed, precise walk that had been drilled into her from a very early age. The walk of royalty that had quickly become the walk of fighter inspections and lectures about spilling fuel on the hangar floor. 

“Can I help you?” Han joked. 

Leia smiled at him. “I was looking for my boyfriend." She played along. "I thought he might have wandered in here.” 

Han walked around the counter. 

“Tall, likes to work with his hands, hazel eyes, kind of scruffy looking?” 

He nodded walking toward her. 

“He’s just full of surprises.”  
“Is he?” Han spoke slipping his arms around her waist. “See anything you like Princess?” 

“I like this Corellian piece.” She spoke resting her hands on his forearms. 

He smiled. “What are you doing here?” 

“Kira’s feeling better and having a great time with Luke. I thought I’d come check on you, it can’t be easy for you to be here.” 

He pulled her close and just held her. 

“And I thought you might want some help packing up. Luke told me that you wanted to take a lot of this to New Alderaan for the refugees.” 

“Anything I can’t sell. Thought I’d make a little supply money while I packed up.” 

“You pack.” She spoke looking up at him. “And I’ll handle anyone who wanders in.” 

He looked at her, that had been Sulen’s job before… he nodded. 

Leia smiled at him. “I’m a princess, remember? I know a little something about quality workmanship.” 

“How’s that?” 

“Because I used to hang out with tradesmen at the palace.” 

He smiled. “That explains a lot.” 

She raised an eyebrow at him. 

Han kissed her forehead and she smiled. This was sacred space much like the master bedroom had been when the first arrived. It was similar to when Han had fumbled and put her in Fane's room after sharing a bunk with her for years. Now she knew why and she let him have his space here to honor Sulen in the shop they’d built together. 

Han watched Leia wipe years of dust off the pieces in the showroom while he packed his tools in crates and contemplated how he was going to get his pieces to the Falcon without his old delivery hovervan. She never failed to surprise him, raised as nobility but always willing to be the first to step up and get her hands dirty. Even in this sacred space, that felt more like Sulen's than their home had, he loved Leia. He watched her, she was so careful with each piece, cleaning each and polishing them like he was sure she’d watched her maids do in the palace as a child. He could tell when she’d find something she really liked, she’d run her fingers over the thick resin finish as if it were the most important object in the room she made a mental note of each piece she was taken by, he’d be extra careful with those and they’d stay on the Falcon until he finished building their house on New Alderaan. 

“Leia?” Han spoke assessing her salesmanship as they sun lowered in the sky. “If you sell much more we won’t have anything to take with us.” 

She smiled at him. “Want me to lock up?” 

He nodded. “How’s Kira?” 

Leia paused and he watched her face shift. “She’s fine, they’re watching cartoons. Galactic Bear.” 

Han smiled stepping back into the back area. 

“Is he here?” An older woman walked in before Leia could close up. 

“We’re closed.” Leia spoke firmly. "One day only, I'm afraid." 

“I don’t want to buy anything honey, I’m looking for Han.” She spoke looking down at her. 

“And I said we’re closed.” She spoke firmly drawing herself up to her full height, hoping her voice would do the rest. 

“Yes, you’ve said that and I’ve told you that I’m not here here to buy anything.” The woman raised her eyebrows at her. “I’m his mother.”

“His mother? He’s an orphan.” 

“Yes dear, I know. I took him in.” 

Han stepped out from the back and looked at the Elke, the woman who’d taken him off the street when he was too sick to walk and brought him back and taught him to trust face to face with Leia the woman who had taken him in when he was too broken to love her and reinforced that trust. Both of them with extremely strong personalities. Elke had loved Sulen because Han loved her and she cherished Fane, but she’d never quite been sure of Sulen for Han. He’d been thinking recently that Elke would have really liked Leia, if they didn’t kill each other first. 

“Lei?” He spoke gently. “It’s alright.” 

Leia looked over her shoulder at him. 

“She’s safe.” 

Leia nodded and headed for the front door locking it before anyone else could wander in. 

“She’s fiery.” Elke spoke to Han in Corellian. “Kind of a bitch.” She spoke as Leia turned around to face Han. 

Leia crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at him and in that moment he realized that Leia was fluent. 

Han covered his face with his hand. 

“I like this one.” Elke hugged him. 

“Ma.” Han started in Corellian as they sat down at one of his dinette sets. 

“She's smaller than I thought she’d be.” Elke continued. “But you can tell by the way she carries herself.” 

“Tell what?” Han spoke as Leia walked to the back to open the delivery door to let in the evening light and some air. 

“She’s royalty.” 

Leia stopped and turned on her heel. Han shot her a reassuring look. 

“Royalty?” Han echoed and looked at Leia. 

Leia shook her head incredulously and headed back to open the delivery door. 

“Now, just what do you think royalty would want with me?” Han drawled. 

“You tell me.” Elke spoke watching Leia. “Because that is Leia Organa the last Princess of Alderaan.” 

Leia covered her face. 

“She dresses down well, but that’s her.” 

Han sighed as Leia joined them. 

“And you are?” Leia spoke in fluent Corellian as she sat down. Han could tell she was uncomfortable. She placed her hand on his forearm like she did when she was nervous. He put his hand over hers reassuringly. 

“Elke Cyloth.” 

“Cyloth.” Leia repeated her last name. 

Elke smiled at her knowing that Leia would recognize her name as Alderaanian not Corellian. 

Leia looked at Han. “I had a handmaiden who was a Cyloth.” 

“My niece.” Elke spoke in Moccoan. 

Leia smiled at her. “I’m sorry for your loss.” 

Elke smiled warmly at her. “You did everything you could.” 

“Excuse me.” Leia got up. 

Han and Elke watched her walk out the back door. 

“She’s still carrying around a lot of guilt.” Han sighed not really wanting to go into it. 

“They did horrible things to her.” Elke spoke quietly. 

“How do you know about that?” Han looked at Elke. 

“The Emperor sent out a broadcast on the Holonet that she’d been tortured to death, that she was a traitor. No one really believed it. The Queen and Viceroy several others took off to negotiate for her release or for her body so that they could lay her to rest properly.” 

“You’re certain.” Han looked over his shoulder. 

She nodded. “My niece, Sola sent me a message after the blast.” 

“Where are they now?” 

“The new settlement.” 

Han nodded. 

“I’ve been thinking of going to see Sola.” 

“We’re going soon.” Han spoke. 

“Maybe I’ll go with you and catch a transport back if I decide to come back here.” Elke watched Leia pace outside. 

“They don’t like letting people through their shields.” Han spoke to the table top. 

“Sola will make Bail let me in, I’m her only living relative.” Elke reassured him. 

Han nodded. 

“I almost took in another orphan the other day.” Elke spoke as Leia walked back in, still not composed but better. 

“Oh?” Han looked up. 

She nodded. “Beautiful child big brown eyes that cut right to your soul. I haven't seen her in several weeks." Elke sighed. “I guess she didn’t make it. She was so little.” 

Han looked at Leia. 

“I tried to give her food and blankets but the older kids that had her took them. She was so intense.” Elke spoke as Leia sat back down. “She looked like you.” 

“Kira?” Leia spoke looking at Han. “Is she talking about Kira?” 

Han nodded. 

“You want to come back to the house, Han went to the market today, we’d love to have you for dinner.” Leia offered knowing the older woman would be relieved to see that Kira was safe and well taken care of. 

Han smiled at her.

“Marry this one.” Elke patted Han's arm. 

Leia smiled. “We’re not quite there yet.” She spoke after Han had gotten up to close up the back of his shop. “But I wouldn't tell him no.” 

Elke smiled at her. “He told you about Sulen and Fane.” 

Leia nodded. “I know why he left.” 

“Good, so you know he’s not the man he became?” 

“I know, I met Captain Solo and I know he’s not Han. Captain Solo and his friend Luke helped me get off the Death Star, but Han kept me alive.” 


	9. Alderaani Sapphire

Han Solo, a decidedly different man than the man who had haplessly gotten himself involved in a full-scale rebellion, a death note bounty and the rescue of a very difficult Princess stood on the hull of the ship he’d won in a Sabacc game when he’d been on his way to becoming Captain Solo, smuggler, scoundrel and a man without a fuck to give. He watched Leia who was just as different from the princess who’d rescued herself on the Death Star as he was from the flyboy she’d ordered into the garbage chute sit in the sun with the farm boy who was still very much the same. Han knew he should be working but he kept stopping to watch this weird little family that had constructed itself around him almost without his knowledge. He wished he could talk Leia into just staying here forever where everything felt so safe and isolated from the war that raged on around them. He could almost hear Leia’s voice start in about responsibility and its merits as he watched Kira run across the meadow. 

He knew that the knot that was tying itself in his stomach wouldn’t release until he knew they were safe from his death note bounty but sometimes as he watched Leia with her hair down, in civilian clothes laughing at whatever Luke had said the knot started to loosen on its own. Han thought that they looked like brother and sister as they did nothing more but enjoy each other’s company no missions, no intel meetings or debriefings, no pressure to conform to the roles they each played in the rebellion just the two of them together, the princess and the farm boy swapping stories and comparing notes the way orphans did. He liked to watch Leia laugh, especially after the tense dinner they’d had with Elke the night before. Leia had pushed herself too far asking Elke for details about New Alderaan and what she knew about her family. She’d faked her way through dinner and after dinner drinks and woke him up screaming in the middle of the night. The image of her fighting and screaming in the moonlight was still burned into his mind and every time he closed his eyes he saw her; haunted, terrorized, unreachable. He waited as she shook, waited for her to come back enough to let him hold her and when she finally allowed his arms around her, he'd held her so tight and whispered I love yous and I’m sorrys into her hair until the sun rose. Even long after she’d fallen back to sleep he'd stayed awake waiting, waiting for another nightmare, waiting to help her fight what he couldn’t see. 

Leia caught his eye. “Hey hotshot, shouldn’t you be working?” She called up to him. 

Han smiled at her. “Don’t you worry about me Princess.” 

She smiled at him and he could see that she was faking it again, he could see how tired she was. She carried her sleeplessness in her eyes and he knew her eyes better than anyone. Kira ran over with a handful of wildflowers and Leia hugged her close as if trying to ground herself. Han watched them together as Leia told Kira the names of each flower that she’d picked. Han could take apart and put any ship back together again but Leia’s mind was like an encyclopedia, he was never surprised that Leia knew something but he was always impressed with how much she knew. He’d never asked her a question that she didn’t have the answer to, well except the question he’d asked her in passing that morning. It had been weighing on him since Rieekan’s visit. 

“Do you think your father will approve of me?” He’d spoken shaving around the edges of his beard as Leia washed her face. 

She’d stopped and stared at him in the mirror and he could see her uncertainty in her eyes. “I don’t know.” 

He nodded. 

“Is that okay?" She asked. "That I really don’t know?” 

“Does he need to approve of me?” Han spoke contemplating the sides of his beard in the mirror. 

She shrugged. 

“What does that shrug mean?” He asked edging up just a little bit more on one side and then the other. 

“I don’t need him to approve of you.” She spoke simply. 

“But does tradition need him to?” Han asked, he was unsure now, especially since he was in no way royalty. 

“Han.” She dried her face. “I just don’t know the answer to that anymore.” 

“Want to get married before we go, just in case?” He offered. 

(I wouldn't tell him no if he asked). She’d said the words twice, to both Luke and the closest thing to a mother Han knew, to Elke the woman who gave him his birthday and called him Hans. She cleared her throat. “Han…”

“Never mind sweetheart I wasn’t serious.” Han backpedaled. 

Leia smiled at him, knowing better but letting him lie. “Is that why you were shaving when I came in here? You were planning some grand gesture?” 

He laughed. “No, just cleaning up a little scruff.” 

“I like your scruff.” She kissed his cheek. 

“I'm keeping most of it, just cleaning up the edges.” He assured her. 

She nodded unbraiding her hair. 

“So, I asked too soon.” He spoke clearing his throat. 

“Han, I didn’t say no.” She spoke watching him shave. 

He nodded. 

“Do your people have any traditions around pre-engagment, engagement?” She asked running her fingers through her hair to undo any tangles from sleeping on it. 

“Yeah, do yours.” He rinsed off his razor and went back to work. 

Leia shrugged. “We kinda blew it, when it comes to Alderaani traditions.” 

“How’s that?” Han looked at her. 

“Do you want the list, or the highlights?” She spoke and blushe just a little. 

“Surprise me.” He shrugged. 

“You’ve seen me with my hair down, you’ve seen me without clothes, we’ve shared a bed off and on for years, and we’ve had sex.” She counted on her fingers as she spoke. 

“Once.” He corrected. 

“Han?” She looked at him. 

He looked at her. 

“Intercourse isn’t the only sex we’ve had.” She smiled at him as she spoke. 

“Oh…” He spoke clearing his throat again. 

“The other kinds count on Alderaan.” She spoke brushing out her hair. 

“So um... do you regret it?” He spoke not looking at her, afraid that she would say yes. 

“No.” She spoke firmly. "No, I do not." 

“Are you sure?” He stopped turning to actually look at her instead of the reflection of her in the mirror. This was important, this felt like one of the most important questions he’d ever asked her. “You know, now that you know that your parents are possibly alive and that your customs may have survived with them as well?” 

Leia sighed and turned to him, she saw the concern in his eyes. “Han.” She spoke stepping closer to him. “I’d have still fucked you, even if Alderaan hadn't been destroyed.” 

He smiled at her. “So, you don’t actually care if your father approves?” 

“I’ve chosen you and he will just have to deal with it.” She assured him. 

“Will he?” Han scrubbed the back of his neck nervously. 

“He will.” She slipped her arms around him. 

“How do you know?” He looked into her eyes. 

“Because though Viceroy Bail Organa is a very stubborn man, there is one person that is even more stubborn than the Viceroy and that’s the Viceroy’s daughter.” She spoke kissing his chin. 

He smiled at her. “You get your way, don't you?” 

“Always.” She spoke smiling at him. 

“Han?” Leia called to him, shaking him from his thoughts. 

“Yes your highnessness?” He spoke peering over the edge of the Falcon at her. 

“I said, if you’re going to just stand around you might as well come down here.” 

He cleared his throat. “I was thinking.” 

She raised her eyebrows at him. 

“Got some stuff to work on inside.” 

She nodded. “Okay hotshot.” 

Han opened the bag of remains from Alderaan. They called it The Graveyard now, he hated that. The Graveyard, it had been Leia’s home and the home to two billion others, a peaceful cultural center now reduced to debris. Debris so superheated that it looked like metal and glass, like a common meteorite. He sighed and picked out the nicest of the three rocks he’d bought in the marketplace. He stared at the little blue flecks of glass and wondered if it came from her palace or the windows on her ship or her speeder or her winter palace or the sands of one of the many coastal beaches or all of that combined. His eyes stung and he wiped at them roughly. He didn’t care if it was really Alderaan that he was holding in his hand, just the idea was enough to hurt. Gods, he loved her too much and he knew it, but he couldn’t stop it. He felt like he was holding her home in his hands and it wrecked him, just like she did. 

He sighed and took out some polishing compound and a rag and went to work. It really didn’t need much work to make it look nice with all of the metallic and glass-like compounds. He’d given Leia trinkets from Alderaan before. When he was on supply runs he would specifically look for products or objects that came from her home. He remembered the first thing he’d bought her was an Alderaani sapphire necklace. Her father had given her one like it when she was a child and it was her favorite gem stone. Her original necklace had been lost during her stay on the Death Star and she’d been heartbroken, so Han even back then, had made it his mission to find her another one like it. The Alderaani sapphire was a rare stone to begin with but after the planet’s destruction it became highly sought after appearance. This particular blue/green stone resembled the lost planet itself and surviving Alderaani rushed to get their hands on what was left of home. Han had paid his entire advance for the one he’d found for Leia and then the rest of his freighting payment from the Alliance to have it set. 

He remembered how she’d cried when he’d given it to her. At first he thought he’d screwed up somehow or that it had just been too much for her, but when she’d immediately reached for him and let him hold her as she cradled the stone in her hands, nestled close to her heart, he knew she was alright, just overwhelmed. And so it became a tradition between the two of them. He would go off on some freighting mission and come back with some Alderaani treasure for Leia, some times the pickings were slim and it was just a bottle of shampoo that was supposed to smell like starflowers but didn’t quite and sometimes it was a real treasure like the necklace, or the holo projection that she kept in her office or the time he broke into her apartment on Coruscant and filled as many crates and bags as he could with her things and gotten off world just in time. She had sat in his lap on the floor of the Falcon and gone through everything he’d brought her and cried. Her clothes, her holographs, filmsy letters from her mother and father, he’d kept them all in the aft hold for her so that if the had to evac she never had to lose them again. 

“Han?” Leia spoke shaking him from his reverie. 

He looked up cradling the stone in his hands. 

“What’s that?” She spoke staring at the stone in his hands. 

Han shook his head. 

Luke stopped short with Kira in his arms. 

“That looks like a really large raw Alderaani sapphire.” Leia spoke marveling at it. 

Han looked down at the stone and realized that, that was exactly what he was holding. 

“Hey Kira, why don’t we go back to the house and get a snack and watch some cartoons?” Luke spoke gently. 

“Okay.” Kira shrugged. 

“Leia, I’m going to take her back to the house.” Luke spoke quietly knowing exactly what Han was holding in his hands. 

Leia nodded staring at Han and the stone in his hands. She felt like she had interrupted something important, as if she'd walked in on some sort of ancient Corellian ritual. She felt out of place and almost like she should leave with Luke, but there was something about how Han felt, it was almost imperceptible at first and then she felt it like a beacon in a dark night (stay) and so she stayed rooted to that spot. 

Han looked at her, he had not wanted to do it this way. He had wanted to take her to a nice restaurant and have Luke watch Kira. Get dressed up, do it fancy, she was a princess she deserved better, even his own mother had said so. But this was the Falcon, this was the ship that had saved her from the Death Star. This was the place where they had gotten to know each other and she had begun to trust him on the ride to Yavin, maybe this was the best place. He got up and took her hand. “Come on.” 

“Han?” She spoke she was a bit concerned, his tone was odd, choked in his throat and full of emotion as he led her to the foreword hold. 

Leia sat with him and watched him pour two mugs of Corellian whiskey. This had become their quarters on the way to Yavin when all Leia wanted to do was hide as much as she could from Luke. Han had gathered up all of the spare blankets and sleeping mats and just made her a big nest, he as good at making nests he’d made them when he was a street kid he’d just never intended to share this one with her. This is where they slept, this is where he knew Leia felt safest, cocooned deep inside the Falcon. 

“I was in the marketplace with Luke and I saw this stall selling what they said were pieces of Alderaan.” He spoke looking at the stone in his hands. “I freaked out and threatened the guy. I tore up his sign and made him move on. I was afraid you’d see it and… and I knew it would hurt you. I don’t know if they were real or not but I bought him out anyway. This one.” He held it up in the light. “Was the prettiest so I thought I’d shine it up.” 

She smiled at him. “That was very heroic of you.” 

“Just didn’t want you to hurt anymore.” He looked at her. 

“So what are you going to do with it?” Leia spoke looking at him. 

“Remember when I said that there was a Corellian tradition for pre-engagement?” He looked at his hands. 

She nodded. "Yes, you want to tell me about it?" 

“We have the Corellian love stone.” 

She raised an eyebrow at him and vowed not to laugh. 

“Generally it’s a piece of Corellia and we present them to our lovers so that they can always have a piece of home with them no matter where the go.” Han explained. 

“Oh…” Leia teared up, and she understood why he was being so careful. 

“Sulen’s love stone is buried in the yard, it was from the stream near the house and I thought of finding one for you there as well, but I got to thinking… if this is really from Alderaan then it’s from your home, a piece of it to carry with you no matter where we go together. And then I realized that it a huge sapphire and so it must be from Alderaan.” He finally looked at her. 

Leia wiped her eyes. 

“So.” He took her hand and placed the large Alderaani sapphire in her palm. “This is your love stone.” 

She held the sapphire close to her chest and looked into his hazel eyes. 

“Is it okay?” He asked gently. 

She nodded. 

“It’s not too much, I mean you don't feel all of the emotion?” He asked and she could tell he was worried that she'd be able to feel all of the fear and sorrow of the Alderaani who had died in the blast. 

She shook her head. 

“Good.” He drank his whiskey relieved that he hadn’t inadvertently triggered her. 

“I thought I was going to laugh.” Leia confessed folding herself up against his side as they sat together against the bulkhead. 

“Hmm?” He slipped his arm around her. 

“I thought I was going to laugh when you finally did this.” She spoke quietly, suddenly embarrassed. 

“You knew?” Han looked at her. 

“Well no, not about this, but Luke had tried to explain the Corellian love stone to me by telling me that he’d laughed at Wedge when Wedge told him the legend of the love stone.” 

Han laughed. “You can’t just tell someone about it you have to tell them when you present it.” 

“So do women present men with love stones or is it just one direction?” Leia asked wondering what she should do for Han in return. 

“Sure they do. I threw mine in the stream next to the house.” 

Leia nodded. “But I’m not Corellian.” 

“So, you do whatever Alderaani tradition dictates.” 

“But our traditions are very matriarchal and they have a lot to do with the official consummation of the relationship." 

"I'd be up for that." He smiled at her. 

Leia laughed. "I don't even know what that would look like for us, we're already so far into the sexual aspect of our relationship." 

“Who cares? Make it fit us.” He kissed her forehead. “You know I’m not picky.” 

She smiled at him. 

“You look so tired.” He stroked her cheek. 

She yawned. “I am tired and the whiskey is really making me relax.” 

“You know, Luke has Kira and we're all alone... want to take a nest nap?” 

She nodded. "More than anything else right now."


	10. Luck

Han sat in his shop with the wood stove burning and music playing from the holonet. He felt warm and at peace for the first time in a very long time as he hummed along with the music and sanded one of his signature tabletops. It was a nice day and even thought it was crisp he had the back door open to let in natural light. He looked out into the small sales floor and watched people pass by. He sipped his caff and got back to work, he had four days to sand and stain this piece before pick-up. He refocused and really got into an easy rhythm. He wiped down the tabletop with a tack cloth to remove the dust and ran his hand over the surface feeling for burrs. Just as he opened a tin of stain an explosion rocked his shop. He'd never heard anything so loud, even when he was an active duty soldier on a star destroyer. The explosion was so loud that his ears rang as he hid under cabinet that separated the sales floor from his workshop. He waited as dust settled around him. He tried to think, tried to access hi military training, but all he found there was panic. 

“Sulen, where was Sulen?” His mind raced. “Where were she and Fane.” He made himself get up, if this was a rebel attack he’d need to secure his shop and find his family. He closed the back door and rushed out of the shop, he’d deal with the busted windows after he found Sulen and Fane. He ran through crowds of people covered in dust and blood running away from the market square. He commed Sulen as he ran toward the market square. 

Nothing.

Han thrashed in his sleep waking Leia. He’d thrashed like this before and she knew he was dreaming about losing Sulen and Fane. “Han.” She shook him gently.

“No.” He fought against something she couldn’t see. 

Han moved rubble away from the epicenter of the blast, he had a bad feeling, he could almost feel that they were in there, that if he could just dig them out, it would be alright and he could go back to his life with his family. 

“Sulen.” He shouted into the rubble. 

“Han.” Leia shook him, trying to pull him back before he got too deep. “Han.” 

“Sulen.” Han’s voice caught in his throat, he knew it was her even though her dark skin was now white, white like Leia. “Sulen.” He rolled her onto her back and everything shifted, Sulen had become Leia, even in his nightmares. Instead of Sulen’s face he saw Leia’s there, lifeless and cold in the rubble with Fane now Kira’s tiny hand held tight in hers, both of them lifeless, both of them gone. 

“No, no, no, no…” His voice choked in his throat as the images slammed into him. 

Leia tried to reach for him in the forward hold as he scrambled into he corner shouting, still blind, even with his eyes open. 

She’d heard him scream her name, like he’d screamed Sulen’s. 

“Han.” She tried to reach for him as he sobbed in the corner watching his second chance at a family vaporized in front of his eyes. “Shit.” She got to her feet. “Han.” She grabbed his shoulders trying to remember what he had done to bring her back each time her nightmares over took her. 

He pushed her away and rushed through the back passages of the Falcon, Leia followed knowing it wasn’t personal, knowing she’d done the exact same thing to him countless times over the years. 

“It’s alright.” She soothed rubbing his back as he wretched into the sani. He was cold and sweaty and shaking. “It’s alright.” She whispered running her fingers through his hair, it was soaked with sweat just like the rest of him. 

Han just shook and sweat and wretched and Leia just soothed him, rubbing his back and stroking his hair and cold cool wet rags to the back of his neck. 

Finally he sat back and let her wash his face with a cool rag, he watched her with his hazel eyes, now blue with distress, blue with sorrow. She’d learned the different colors of his eyes and how they changed; green was anger, golden brown was love and lust and blue, she hated to see his eyes blue, was distress and sorrow. 

“Are you back?” She spoke wiping the cool rag over his hair. 

He nodded. 

“You want to talk about it?” 

He shook his head and just pulled her into his arms, close against his chest, against his sweat soaked shirt. She could feel him shake, his body that she’d always thought of as so strong, trembled as he held her.  
Leia warmed Corellian whiskey into a toddy on the small galley stove while Han tried to get the images from his dream out of his mind in the forward hold. He watched the massive sapphire he'd given her just that afternoon catch the light in his hand. 

“Are you ready to talk now?” Leia spoke handing him the warm mug and sitting down with him. 

He sipped the warm concoction and leaned against the bulkhead. “Leia.” He spoke and his voice felt wrong. Now he knew, now he knew how Leia must have felt when her night terrors were at their worst. 

Leia took his hand in both of hers and held it against her lips. 

“We need to go, we need to get off this planet.” Han’s voice shook as he spoke. 

“Okay.” 

He looked at her. “I know Kira is still sick and I know making the jump is going to make her little ears hurt, but we’ve got to go.” 

She nodded. “For you it’s as if Alderaan survived but all of the people I cared about were vaporized, it looks the same but it’s not and it triggers you even though you wish it didn’t. You want to stay here forever but you can’t because it’s just not home anymore.” 

He nodded. “I just keep dreaming of their death and now, now it’s your death…”

Luke watched Han scoop Kira up off of the sofa and into his arms. He was almost positive that Han was crying. He watched Kira reach up and grasp his earlobe like she did when she was tired, or when she’d had a nightmare, but this was different. Luke reached out to the two of them with the force and could feel Kira trying to soothe Han’s distress. He looked at Leia who looked as though she’d felt it too. 

He watched Leia join them, watched Han slip his arm around her and felt Leia reach out to Han. 

“You smell good.” Han nuzzled her hair. “Like starflowers, both of you.” 

Luke smiled, Leia often smelled of starflowers when she reached out to him with the force and he’d noticed that Kira did as well. Luke was surprised that Han could smell it too, he had just assumed that only other force workers could smell the occasional force triggered scents of others. Leia smelled like starflowers and she had told him that he smelled of a summers day. If Han had been a force worker, Luke assumed that he would smell like this place, like a forest after a rainstorm, or maybe like fresh sawdust or cut grass. 

“How is he?” Luke asked as Leia joined him on the deck. 

“Better.” Leia spoke lighting up. 

“What happened?” 

“He has reoccurring nightmares about what happened to Sulen and Fane, but this one was different.” 

“How?” 

“When he rolled her body over, it was me and when he found Fane, it was Kira.” 

“Gods.” 

Leia sighed. “We need to get him out of here. This is his Alderaan.” 

Luke nodded. “I’ll help him with the repairs on the Falcon so that we can get back to the base sooner.” 

“Thanks.” 

“Where is he?” 

“Telling Kira a story before her nap.” 

“She reached out to him.” Luke spoke looking up at the forest canopy. “She tried to fix it.” 

“I know, I felt it.” 

“She’s strong.” 

Leia nodded. “She’s so strong, she scares me sometimes.” 

“Why?” 

“Because I don't know where she came from and I don’t know why she’s seen Vader.” 

“You think she’s yours, don't you?” 

She nodded. “They took all sorts of samples from me both times I was captured.” 

“Both times?” 

She nodded. “I was captured once before, about a year or so before the Erso mission.” 

Luke nodded. 

Leia shrugged. “Honestly, I’d be more surprised to find out that she wasn’t mine at this point.” 

He nodded. “Me too.” 

“The implications of that are terrifying, but it wouldn’t be a shock to me if that’s what Rieekan finds on his intel mission.” 

“Wedge was rerouted for that.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

Luke shrugged. “Some day we’ll get some R&R at the same time.” 

Leia smiled at him. “I guess that is one nice thing about Han refusing to enlist.” 

“Speaking of Han, do you think he’s force sensitive?” Luke looked at her. 

“No.” Leia laughed. “Why?”  
“He said you smelled of starflowers when you were helping Kira use the force to calm him. You smell like starflowers when you use the force, and so does Kira.” 

Leia shrugged. “He probably smelled my shampoo.” 

Luke took Leia by her shoulders and pulled her to him. 

“What are you doing?” Leia spoke as he sniffed her hair. “No, no more than usual and I could smell you across the room earlier.” 

“Han Solo, force sensitive?” Leia spoke wryly. “You’re hilarious.” 

“I guess you’re right.” Luke spoke shrugging, he would drop it for now because he could tell Leia didn’t want to unpack Han’s unbelievable ability to always come out of near death situations without a scratch. “Sounds pretty silly when I say it out loud.” Luke laughed a little, even though he was pretty sure there might be something to what Han referred to as “luck.”


	11. Imposter

Han sighed hailing the controller on New Alderaan. “Listen buddy, I ain’t going away. I’m Han Solo, the Captain of the Millennium Falcon. I’m carrying passengers, medical supplies and um… furniture.” Kira stirred a bit in her sleep as he held her against his chest. He’d woken up to the hyperspace alarm and checked on her on his way to the cockpit. He’d scooped her out of bed when he saw how restless her sleep had become. “It’s alright bitsy.” He soothed pressing his lips against the top of her head. 

“How many onboard?” The controller answered back. 

“Three, two adults and a child.” He sighed. “I told your watchman that already.” 

“Your planet of origin?” 

“I’m Corellian, my uh… my…” He sighed again, Leia would kill him. “Wife is Alderaani.” He lied trying to make their relationship sound more legitimate, more valid. “As is our daughter.” 

“Names?” 

“Han Solo.” 

“Your wife?” 

He scrubbed his hand over his face, Leia had not wanted to do it like this, she had not wanted to identify herself. She was afraid that the survivors would think it was a lie and either fire on them or turn them away, but without Elke he wasn’t sure what to do. “Leia, her name is Leia. She’s your goddamned…”

“Han.” Leia’s icy voice cut him off so suddenly that he jumped. 

“One moment.” Han muted the comm. “What the hell else would you have me do? They won’t let us land Leia, I’ve been trying to reason with them for over an hour.” 

Leia sighed sitting down. “Fine.” She took a data card out of her pocket and switched on the comm. “Controller, this is the Millennium Falcon do you read?” She spoke firmly in Moccoan. 

“Yes ma’am, we read you.” The controller answered. 

“Please prepare to receive an official identification transmission.” She spoke slipping the card into the data slot. “You’ll need your commanding officer to verify.” 

“Lei?” Han looked at her. 

“It’s my official identification symbol. It identifies me as House Organa.” 

“Ma’am, permission to land granted. Please follow the instructions we are transmitting to you now and prepare to be boarded by an armed detail at the touch port.” 

“Understood, but you have to understand that we have a child on board please consider keeping your weapons holstered.” 

“Boarded?” Han growled. 

Leia switched off the comm and rolled her eyes. “They’re going to escort us somewhere, probably to whomever is in charge and then fingerprint me and ask me some questions. It’s a protocol I agreed to years ago.” 

“I don’t like it.” Han spoke as the moon shield opened. 

“I didn’t ask.” She spoke simply. “And I don’t need you to like it.” She spoke kissing his cheek. “Just stay alert.” 

He nodded urging the Falcon forward with one hand as he held Kira close to his chest with the other. 

“Did she have a nightmare?” 

He nodded. “Mmm hmm.” 

“Do you want me to take her?” 

“Hmm mmm, we’re very comfy right now.” 

Leia stood at the top of the ramp with Han. She didn’t even try to look like the same woman who’d left Alderaan just under two years before. She’d stopped wearing her traditional white as soon as she and Han had begun sleeping together and she’d stopped braiding her hair into the intricate designs of her mother. She held Kira tight to her chest so she wouldn’t see the blasters of the armed boarding party. She tried to keep her nerves in check, knowing that Kira could feel her moods and that they had an effect on her. If Leia was nervous, Kira was anxious. Han as of late, had suddenly become very in tune with their shared moods, Leia couldn’t help but think of the conversation she’d had with Luke about force sensitive Han and wondered if he might just be onto something. Of course Han would never admit it, he only believed just enough in the force and that was only because of what he’d seen between she and Kira. Kira, their daughter on filmsy, born on the base, no one would ever know different unless she told them and she had no intention of telling anyone… especially her parents. Her parents, were they really here, were they really alive? Is that who the armed detail would take them to? Her father, The Viceroy? Her mother, The Queen? She blinked back tears and busied herself whispering to Kira gently pushing the thoughts out of her mind. 

Han watched them together, he was nervous without his blaster. Leia had insisted they be unarmed, no visible weapons and nothing hidden. He stood there, bladed, turned in such a way that he shielded Leia and Kira’s bodies with his own, partially facing her, keeping watch over his shoulder listening for boots on the durasteel ramp. When he wasn’t watching the ramp, he was watching Leia, searching her eyes for subtle cues. Since the Battle of Yavin, they had been on so many missions together that he'd learned to read her eyes to know what was coming next, but everything just now was a the equivalent of a shrug. He could see how nervous she was, but there was something else, something under her nervousness, something he’d never seen in their depths. He could see her fear. 

Leia was fearful, Han had read that correctly, she was afraid that the armed detail would have their blasters drawn and scare Kira, she was afraid of being cuffed and manhandled, she wasn’t sure how she would react to that and she wasn’t sure how her involuntary trauma response would impact Kira. She shifted Kira in her arms as they started to tremble with the continued weight of the baby as she stood in her best approximation of her former regal posture, rigid backed didn’t make this any easier on her ever protesting body. 

“Want me to take her?” Han responded to her movements. 

Leia shook her head. “If I keep her close, I can keep her calm.” 

“You okay?” 

She shook her head. “What if they’re alive, like Carlist said, like your mother said.” 

“Wouldn’t that be a good thing?” Han spoke quietly reaching out and smoothing Kira’s hair. 

“I don’t know Han, I’m not the same woman that I was when I left on the Erso Mission, I’m virtually unrecognizable to anyone who knew me then. What if they’re disappointed in me?” 

“We can tell them the truth about Kira, if you’re worried that they will judge you for getting knocked up by a guy like me.” He spoke letting an easy grin curl the corners of his mouth, trying to put her at ease. 

She smiled. 

Han held up his finger, hearing footsteps outside the ship. 

“What a piece of junk.” Someone spoke. “This isn’t the kind of ship Her Highness would caught dead aboard.” 

Leia rolled her eyes. “See?” Her voice shook as she spoke and her skin blanched hearing the footsteps start up the ramp. 

Han shrugged. “I love you.” He kissed her gently. “Remember to breathe.” 

She nodded as the footsteps rushed up the ramp. 

“Hands up.” The taller of the two armed escorts spoke with his blaster rifle trained on Han. “Turn around face me.” 

Leia held Kira tight in her arms. 

Han did as he was told and they patted him down and cuffed him. 

“You.” The turned on Leia. “Put the child down so we can check you for weapons.” 

“No.” She spoke firmly. “She’s frightened, I will not put her down.” She faced down their drawn blaster rifles. “I will not put  
her down.” Her voice shook. 

“Put the child down.” The taller escort advanced on her. 

Leia held Kira tight. “No.” 

“Hey!” Han shouted stepping up to the escorts. 

“Back up, sir.” They turned on him. 

“Leave her alone.” Han spoke firmly stepping in front of Leia. 

They drew on him. “Put the child down.” 

Leia crouched down and set Kira on her feet. “Don’t turn around.” She spoke gently. “It’s going to be okay.” She kissed her  
forehead. “Okay loved?” 

She nodded. “Okay mumma.” 

Leia stood up crossing her arms at her side and Kira latched onto her leg. “We requested you keep your weapons holstered.” She spoke letting her voice fall back into the mock-Chandrillian accent she’d used as a Senator. “You have come into our home with your blasters drawn, held me at gun point with a baby in my arms, and cuffed her father.” She spoke indignantly as the silent escort patted her down. “I demand to speak with your superior.” She slapped his hand as he moved to pat down her breasts. “Don’t you dare.” She hissed, her eyes narrowed and her teeth bared. “You put your hands there and I’ll break your wrists.” 

The taller escort, obviously the superior twisted her arm behind her back and cuffed her. “Quiet, imposter.” 

“Imposter? I’ll show you imposter when you’re out of a job and exiled for this.” She spat. 

“Mumma.” Kira cried out feeling the fear and anxiety that Leia hid. 

“Loved, go to daddy.” Leia’s voice shook, remembering that Kira was here, witness to all of this, knowing that she had her own trauma and that this could easily trigger Kira, just as it was beginning to trigger her own trauma response. Leia could feel herself panic as she watched Han pick Kira up using his cuffed hands as a seat for her. 

“Un-cuff her, we’re unarmed she’s not a threat to you.” Han growled as the taller escort finished the pat down. 

Leia cursed in Moccoan and spit in his face, the only defense she had left with her hands bound behind her. “Estas muerto.” She bit out. “I’ll see to that.” 

She bluffed well but Han could see her falter as the taller escort grabbed her arm and pulled her down the ramp roughly.  
Han followed with Kira in his arms, trying to keep his cool, trying to do his best to keep the baby calm, whispering to her gently, knowing she could feel Leia coming apart under her facade. Han was so attuned to Leia and her body language that he could almost feel her struggling to hold it together as they passed as statue of the younger version of Leia standing proud with her revolutionary buns and her senatorial gown. Han squinted at the plaque and realized that it was a tribute to her, in death. “Shit.” He hissed. “They think you’re dead sweetheart.” 

She let her head drop and he could see her falter further. 

Kira began to cry for her in his arms. 

“Shut her up.” The taller escort growled. 

“Fuck you, she’s just a baby.” Leia bit out. “Leave her alone.” 

“It’s okay bitsy, it’s gonna be okay.” Han soothed, it was so hard to console her with his hands cuffed. 

By the time they’d reached the temple that Leia assumed was serving as the new palace Leia was fighting hard not to disassociate. She slumped in the chair she was pushed down into. 

“Leia?” Han spoke gently when they were alone. “Are you okay?” 

She shook her head. “I can’t do this, they’re going to lock me up.” 

“Why would they lock you up? You’re not an imposter and they’ll know that soon enough.” He spoke holding Kira close to his chest. 

“This is all my fault Han, Alderaan, this… all of it.” 

He sighed. “No, its not.”

She nodded. “It is, and they’re going to make me pay for it, we shouldn’t have come here.” 

“Leia.” He spoke, his voice a tender whisper. He was trying so hard to be a calming force for her, for Kira. 

She looked at him. 

“Breathe.” He spoke gently. 

“I can’t.” She spoke, her voice tight in her throat, her body shaking so hard. “I can’t breathe.” 

The door opened and Han gaped at the tall dark haired man in traditional Alderaani clothing, his thick cape fastened with a geometric silver pin, his meticulously trimmed goatee peppered with silver. His eyes were dark and intense like Leia’s.  
Kira looked at him, looking so much like Leia had at her age and he froze mid-step locking eyes with her, clearly taken aback by the resemblance she bore to her mother. 

Leia tried to compose herself hearing footsteps, she tried to breathe, tried to retain some semblance of her royal carriage and demeanor, but she was too far gone to do so. 

“Lelila?” The man spoke gently as he knelt down next to her. 

“Un-cuff her.” Han pleaded. “For gods sakes, un-cuff her, she’s having a panic attack.” 

Leia looked at him with unfocused eyes, not recognizing him. Han watched him unlock the cuffs. 

“What happened to her?” He focused his dark eyes on Han. “What do I do?” 

“Toss me those keys, eh Viceroy?” Han spoke as good naturedly as he could manage. 

He complied and tossed the keys to Han. 

“And uh, I’d have the taller of your armed escorts exiled or killed for what he did to her.” Han spoke bracketing Kira on his hip as he stood up. 

Bail moved to offer Leia some physical comfort. 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Han cautioned. “Not just yet.” 

Bail Organa looked at Han Solo, the man who’d claimed to be his daughter’s husband. Husband? The Viceroy looked at the child this older man carried on his hip, the little girl that looked so much like his Leia. “What happened to her?” 

“She was tortured on the Death Star.” 

“We were told she had died.” 

“I think she would have welcomed death.” Han spoke grimly crouching down in front of Leia with Kira in his arms. “Go to your mumma, bitsy.” He spoke gently. “You know how to help her.” 

“Mumma.” Kira reached out to her and Leia instinctively pulled her into her lap holding her so close. 

Han stood up and looked at Bail Organa. “So, the rumors are true.” 

Bail nodded. “The royal family survived. We started the evacuation when that horrible thing came into our sector. We’ve built a thriving settlement and we’re working to get our holonet up so that we can see news of the rebellion, but it just hasn’t been a priority.” 

“If it worked, you’d have known a long time ago that she survived.” 

Bail watched Leia. “I sent my daughter to be tortured.” He sighed. 

Han shrugged. “It was for the good of the Alliance, I’m sure she forgives you.” 

“How can I forgive myself, look at her—I did this.” 

Han sighed. “This isn’t a regular occurrence. Your security detail did this, the taller one of the two.” 

“Hi loved.” Leia spoke gently brushing Kira’s hair out of her face gently. “Are you okay?” 

She nodded chewing on her finger. 

“Don’t do that baby.” She took her finger out of her mouth. “Your hands will end up like mine.” She kissed the bridge of her nose gently and Kira smiled shyly. 

“Hey sweetheart.” Han spoke leaning back against the Viceroy’s desk. “Welcome back.” 

Leia looked at him. “Where are we?” 

“Mija?” Bail interrupted them, unable to wait any longer. 

Leia looked at him, her eyes wide and watery. “Papa?” Her voice shook in a quiet whisper.


	12. Absolution

“Come here, bitsy.” Han lifted Kira off of Leia’s lap. They watched Leia stare at the Viceroy, her mind still foggy from her panic and still weird from her disassociation, trying to catch up. 

“How?” She whispered. 

Han cleared his throat. “I saw a park on the way in, think me and bitsy should go check it out.” 

Leia nodded. 

“You okay?” He squeezed her shoulder. 

She nodded even though she wasn’t actually sure if she was alright or not. Han kissed the crown of her head and left the office. 

“Say something Lelila.” Bail spoke nervously. 

“I’m sorry papa.” She spoke quietly. “I did everything I could. I—I didn’t tell them anything, but Tarkin knew, he knew I was lying. I…” She looked down and away, ashamed, guilty. 

“Mija.” He crouched down. “The moment that thing arrived in our sector Alderaan was doomed regardless of what you told Tarkin. He wanted to punish your for fighting him at every turn, for being the conscious of the Galactic Senate, and probably for that water balloon barrage you dropped on his head with you were just a child. Tarkin never forgot and he never forgave. You know that.” 

She nodded wiping her eyes. 

“Your husband said you were tortured.” He spoke quietly. “And yet you remained silent.” 

She smiled a little and shook her head. “Papa, Han’s not my husband.” 

“But you have a child together.” 

She sighed squeezing the bridge of her nose. This was going to be a long conversation. “Papa?” She looked up at him. “Are you disappointed in me?” 

Bail leaned against his desk in the same place Han had been before he'd taken Kira out of the room to give them space. He looked at her in civilian clothes, not even spacer clothes with her hair loosely braided down her back somehow she looked younger and older than the nineteen year old girl that he’d sent off to save the rebellion. Here sat his daughter, the youngest Senator ever elected, the last princess of Alderaan, dressed like a common civilian. He knew her well enough, knew those eyes well enough to know that she sought forgiveness for Alderaan, and absolution for taking up with the older Corellian, for having his child out of wedlock and turning her back to the traditions of Alderaan. 

“Papa?” She spoke her arms hugged tight to her chest. 

He sighed, he could hear the uncertainty in her voice and the tears she tried to hide behind her flawless Sabacc face. “Mija.” He started gently. “I’m just happy you’re alive.” 

“But are you proud of me?” She spoke looking at the floor. 

“You got the Death Star plans to the Alliance, you alone are responsible for the destruction of that horrible creation. Of course I’m proud of you.” 

She shook her head. 

Bail sighed, he knew that wasn’t what she meant, that wasn’t what she was asking of him. “No.” He conceded. “I’m not disappointed in you, I wish you had done things in the proper order and I wish he weren’t so much older.” 

She smiled. “He saved me.” 

“From?” 

“He and Luke Skywalker initiated my escape from the Death Star.” 

“You didn’t have to be his reward, I’m sure he would have taken credits.” 

Leia laughed despite herself. “No, papa.. he saved me after. He kept me alive, he dressed my wounds and promised me that I wasn’t damaged. He hid all of the sharp objects and talked me out of killing myself. He tried to help me understand that Alderaan wasn’t my fault. Every time I’ve had a nightmare he’s been there. He doesn’t treat me like a princess, like a monument to Alderaan. He makes me feel safe.” 

“You could have married him Leia.” 

“We’re not there yet papa.” 

“You have a child together.” 

Leia sighed, she hadn’t been sure that she was going to tell anyone that Kira was a foundling like she had been, but she knew that more than anyone else her father would understand. “Not exactly.” 

He furrowed his eyebrows at her. “She's not his?” 

Leia shook her head. 

‘Gods.’ He thought. 'She better not be Skywalker’s child.’ He panicked. “Who, Leia? Who is her father?” 

She shrugged. 

“She’s not Luke Skywalker’s child…” His voice shook and he blanched visibly. 

“No, gods papa, no.” She made a face. “Luke.” She laughed. “Luke’s gay papa, and just no.” 

Bail sighed a deep sigh of relief. 

“Why?” 

“Nothing, we’ll talk about it later.” 

Leia furrowed her eyebrows at him. “She’s not mine either.” 

Bail raised an eyebrow at her. “She looks just like you.” 

Leia nodded. 

“And acts like you did at her age.” 

“Han and I found her in the marketplace in a little town in the Forested Region of Corellia. A gang of older kids were using her as prop for panhandling. I felt her, she’s so strong in the force and Luke says she feels just like me. I don’t know who she is, but on filmsy she’s ours. As far as anyone needs to know she was born on the base on Yavin IV, but in reality, she’s a foundling.” 

“Lelila.” Bail spoke carefully. “When you were captured by the Empire either time, did they take… samples?” 

She nodded. “Carlist is looking into the Empire’s cloning operation, I have requested to not know what they find. I don’t care if she’s mine or not and neither does Han. She’s ours and that’s all she will ever know.” 

Bail nodded. They were silent for a long time each staring at the other, father and daughter making note of how much the other had changed since the last time they’d seen each other, just before Leia had left Scarif for Tatooine to find Obi Wan. Bail looked at her, his little girl was now a grown woman and she had been through so much more than he would ever know. Solo had mentioned that she’d been tortured, and the methods of the Empire were no secret, he knew what Solo had meant, he knew about interrogation droids and scan grids, he knew she’d been beaten and she’d implied she’d had wounds to dress. He knew that he’d sent her on the mission that forever changed their lives and that her body would forever carry the effects of what she’d faced on the Death Star. 

“What?” She spoke quietly trying to read him. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“For what?” 

“If I had known there was a chance that you’d be captured, I’d have gone on the Erso mission myself or sent someone else.”  
“No one else could have endured what I did without talking.” She spoke pushing herself to he feet. “I was the only choice. I know that and I knew that from the very beginning. You sent me because I could use the force to resist interrogation and that’s what I did. Through everything, I kept quiet, even with Vader digging around in my head and the Emperor shocking me with force lightning. I told them nothing, I gave away nothing and when Vader tried to turn me, I resisted.” She shrugged. “There was no one else who could have done that. You’d have folded like a deck of Sabacc cards.” 

He put his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes. “You made us proud mija.” He kissed her forehead and hugged her close. 

She smiled against his chest taking in the familiar fatherly scent of his cologne. “And, I lived… thanks to Han.” 

“I don’t know that I approve of him, but I’ll forever be indebted to him for saving you and bringing you home.” 

She nodded. “That’s good enough for now.” 

“Are you staying?” 

She nodded. “Mon doesn’t want a force sensitive child on the base and so we’re here indefinitely.” 

“I think we can find you a couple of apartments here in the palace.” He spoke as they headed off to meet up with Han and Kira. 

“An apartment, papa, just one. Han and I have lived together on the Falcon since the Battle of Yavin and I’m not changing that just to make you more comfortable. I have night terrors, I can’t sleep alone.” 

“Are you planning on marrying this man?” 

“I wouldn’t turn him down if he asked.” 

“I’d like him a lot more if he would.” He spoke as the walked down the steps of the makeshift palace. 

She smiled at him. “He’s worried that you won’t approve of him.” 

“Well…”

“And I told him that it didn’t really matter.” She continued. 

“Oh?” He laughed just happy to be talking about anything with his daughter again. 

“Because the daughter of the Viceroy is more stubborn than the Viceroy himself.” 

Bail shook his head. “Your mother’s not going to like this one bit and your aunties are going to be all over me for being alright with you taking up with an older man.” 

Leia shrugged. “They’ll adjust.” 

“We did raise you to be strong and independent.” 

She nodded. “So you don’t get to complain when I make my own decisions.” 

He smiled at her. “You’re my daughter, alright.” 

“Papa?” 

“Yes, mija?” 

“Your security detail…” She started nervously. 

“I’m taking care of it.” 

She nodded. 

Bail slipped his arm around her shoulders as they stopped to watch Han and Kira stare at the massive bronze statue of nineteen year old Leia in the park a double bunned tombstone to someone who was very much alive.


	13. The Matriarch

Leia stood outside the door to her parents’ living quarters in the palace. Bail was with Han showing him around the palace and the apartment he and Leia would be staying in until other arrangements could be made. Han didn’t like the idea of staying in the palace and if it had just been he and Leia they’d have stayed on the Falcon, but Kira deserved her own space, her own room and the privacy of a master sleeping quarters and an ensuite for he and Leia was appealing as well. 

Kira slept peacefully bracketed on Leia’s hip sucking her thumb and clutching Leia’s earlobe as Leia contemplated the comm system on her parent’s door. Leia hated that Kira sucked her thumb, knowing it would change the way her teeth came in and how difficult a habit it would be to break as time went on. She’d decided that she’d give Kira some more time to adjust to her new life before she started taking away the habits that she used to self soothe. Leia chewed on the already battered cuticle of her thumb and the irony wasn’t lost on her. She sighed and hit the chime rather that the comm, choosing to wait to speak until she saw her mother in person. 

Leia waited with her lips pressed to Kira’s hair, against the part that formed when Han had braided fish tails into her hair that morning. Kira excelled at using the force to bring calm to Leia’s mind, but it wore her out to do so. Leia didn’t like to involve Kira in her emotions, but Han had been desperate to bring her back as quickly as possible, and Kira was the quickest method available. Leia knew she’d sleep off and on for the better part of the day. She figured she’d enjoy it while she could, knowing full well that Han was right, there would come a time that Kira would grow out wanting to be held all of the time. 

Breha gasped and took a step back upon seeing Leia, it was apparent that Bail hadn’t told her she was alive, let alone in the settlement. Breha just stared at her for a long time, her mind trying to make sense of Leia in the palace with a child in her arms. Less than a minute before all Breha knew was that Leia was gone and there was a suspected imposter on the planet. Surely, Bail wouldn’t just let an imposter wander around without an escort. She watched Leia stare at her rubbing the child’s back gently as she gave her time to process. 

“Lelila?” 

Leia nodded her lips still pressed to Kira’s hair, she was nervous and staying close to Kira was soothing. 

Immediately Breha pulled her into her arms holding her close to her chest careful of the baby, but holding her tight. “You’re alive.” 

Leia nodded. 

“So.” Breha spoke setting a tea service on the caff table and sitting down with Leia in the surprisingly small spartan lounge. 

“Are you home or just visiting?” 

“No, no... I’m home.” Leia spoke watching Kira play with some of the toys she’d retrieved from the Falcon after visiting with her father. “Papa is helping my…” She paused not sure what to call Han, they’d gone far beyond boyfriend and girlfriend and passed into much more serious territory without getting married, she hated the term fiancé and he hadn’t truly asked anyway. “Han move into a place here. I assume that he will eventually build us a house like he did on Corellia.” 

“Han is your husband?” 

Leia shook her head holding the cup of tea and taking in the familiar scent of home. “I’m not married mumma.” 

Breha sighed shaking her head. “Leia…”

Leia rolled her lips against her teeth nervously and turned to watch Kira, not really wanting to have this conversation. She really thought that being alive would be enough, but she was beginning to realize that her mother still saw her as the child that left Alderaan for Coruscant at fourteen. “Mumma?” She watched Breha watch Kira. “What are you thinking?” 

Breha watched Kira play. “She’s darling.” 

Leia smiled reaching down to smooth Kira’s hair. 

“Do you at least have plans to marry him?” 

“Han?” Leia spoke turning her attention back to her mother. “Eventually, we’re just not there yet.” 

“You have a child together.” 

“Mumma.” Kira leaned on her knee. 

“What is it baby?” 

“Daddy, here.” 

“Is he?” Leia spoke picking her up and setting her on her lap. 

“Uh huh.” Kira spoke curling up against Leia’s chest, she was getting tired again. 

“She’s like you.” Breha marveled watching her. 

Leia nodded. “That’s why we’re here. Mon didn’t want a force sensitive child on the base.” 

“Did you have her on base?” 

“That’s a long story.” Leia sighed. “Maybe her daddy can take her to see her new big girl room, or take her to pick out paint or something. I don’t like to talk about it in front of her.” 

Breha watched Leia for a few beats. “She’s not yours.” Breha whispered. 

Leia shook her head. 

Kira looked at Breha. 

Breha smiled at her. “What’s you’re name loved?” 

“Kira.” She whispered burying her face in Leia’s breast. 

“She’s shy.” 

Leia stroked her hair. “It’s new, she wasn’t shy before. She stared down Carlist a few weeks ago.” 

“She’s so much like you.” 

Leia nodded. 

“It’s not a lot of space.” Bail’s voice filled the room as he walked into the apartment. 

“It’s more space than the Falcon.” Han spoke following him. “Kira gets her own room, and it’s got an ensuite fresher. It’s good enough for us until I build something.” 

Breha looked over the back of the couch at Bail and the tall man who had followed him into their home. She looked at Leia and raised and eyebrow at her. “Older.” She mouthed. 

Leia nodded. 

Breha shook her head and watched Kira climb off Leia’s lap and run over to the causally dressed man who looked to be at least five to ten years older than Leia. 

“Daddy!” She held her arms up to him. “Up?” 

“Hey bitsy.” He picked her up and walked around the end of the sofa to stand near Leia. Breha stared at him. 

“Mumma, this is Han.” 

“Your Highness.” Han greeted her seriously, bending a bit at the waist. 

“Han.” She spoke tightly. 

Han looked at Bail and then at Leia. 

“You’re quite a bit older than my Lelila, aren’t you?” Breha spoke, her voice was different from Leia’s, a higher octave but it had the same sort of power behind it. 

Han cleared his throat nodding nervously. “I…”

Breha shook her head dismissively. “I don't want to hear excuses from you Han, obviously the two of you have… rather, this has been going on longer than I’m comfortable with.” 

“Your Highness…” Han started again. 

“Please.” She waived her hand at him dismissively. “I know my daughter’s habits, I’d rather not have an explanation from you. She’s told me that the two of you are unmarried and living outside of Alderaani traditions, that she doesn’t intend to change that anytime soon…”

“Would it change things if we were?” Han offered scrubbing the back of his neck. “I mean…” He could almost feel Leia’s eyes burning through him willing him to shut up. 

“Marriage is something we take very seriously.” Breha began. “I don’t think either of you are ready for that just now.” 

Leia got up. “Mother.” She spoke quietly. “I think we’re going to go and give you some time.” 

“We should have eloped.” Han slipped his arm around Leia as they walked to their apartment. 

Leia sighed curling into him as they walked. "It will pass." 

He kissed the crown of her head. "Hope so, 'cause I'm staying right here." 

Leia smiled up at him. "You'd better."


	14. Lust

Leia sat up against the base of the statue of herself watching Kira play near other children as she worked. She wished Kira would play with the other children, but near was at least a step in the right direction. Leia was pleased to see her becoming somewhat independent in the weeks since their arrival. Leia went back to the briefs she had been reading on her data pad keeping an eye on Kira through their force connection. She had taken a job as a barrister, she’d used Solo as her last name to keep some semblance of anonymity, even thought she suspected that her cover was thinner than she liked. She wasn’t ready to be The Princess again, she wasn’t sure if she’d ever really wanted to be even when she was. The decision had been made for her as soon as her father had brought her home and now as an adult returning from the dead, she was making those choices for herself. 

Han watched her work as he walked over from one of the boardwalks that had been built to keep the citizens of New Aldera from walking in the mud when it rained. Han had been working in the orphanage, he’d been commissioned by the the Head Mistress to build furniture: desks, cribs, beds, dressers, anything that might make the children feel more comfortable. Han hated orphanages, he’d lived in one as a child, it was cold and dark and the staff was cruel. His orphanage in Coronet City was nothing like the one here. The walls were painted bright colors and the staff seemed to really care about the children. He liked working there, even if the Head Mistress was a bit of a ball buster. 

Leia ran her fingers through her hair absently as she read. Han stopped for a moment as her hair fell back into place and he realized that not only was she wearing her hair down, it was shorter, much shorter falling just below her shoulders instead of well blow her waist. He watched her repeat the motion once again, mesmerized by how the movement of her hair caught the light. Leia felt him watching her and smiled, shaking her head slowly without looking up. 

“Hey hotshot.” She spoke as the shadow his body cast fell over her. 

“You cut your hair.” Han spoke sitting down. 

“Mm hmm.” She set her data pad down at looked at him. “Do you like it?” 

He nodded running his fingers through her hair. “Your mother is not going to be happy with you.” 

“She hasn't been happy with me since I left on the Erso mission, what difference does it make?” She spoke closing her eyes as he ran his fingers through her hair. 

“They want us over for dinner tonight. Your father caught me earlier.” He spoke running his fingers through her hair again to watch it fall. 

Leia sighed taking off her glasses and squeezing the bridge of her nose between her eyes. “What did you say?” 

“I said I'd talk to you.” 

“Kriff.” She cursed. 

He laughed a little reactionary laugh at her response as he returned to running his fingers through her hair. “What was I supposed to say to the Viceroy, Princess?” 

“Mmm, that feels good.” She spoke her eyes closed, lost in the sensation of Han’s fingers against her scalp. Her body shuddered involuntarily and Han smiled. 

“You want to go home?” 

Leia laughed knowing exactly what he meant. “More than anything, but I have a meeting this afternoon.” She spoke curling her body against his chest. 

“How much time do we have?” Han spoke letting his free hand wander. 

“Mm.” She tilted her head back. “Not enough.” She breathed. 

He kissed her and felt her moan against his mouth as his tongue slipped between her lips and her hand slipped into his hair tugging lightly as the kiss deepened. “You sure?” He spoke kissing her jaw down to where it met her neck, in that soft place he decided long ago that he could kiss forever. 

“Kira would have to go down for a nap.” Leia breathed. “You know how long that takes now.” 

“When do you get off?” 

“Sooner than you think.” She breathed, feeling him hard against her hip. 

He chuckled against her throat. 

“Gods.” She breathed. “Han, we have to stop.” 

“Don’t want to.” He mumbled against her collar bone. 

“Kira.” She breathed. 

Han pulled away reluctantly and thought of the impulse drive schematics of the Falcon. 

“Daddy!” Kira gasped and made a mad dash for him. 

Leia moved to sit with her back against Han’s chest. 

“Hey bitsy.” Han spoke as Leia caught her in her arms. 

“Hi daddy.” 

“Were you playing with those kids over there?” 

“Huh uh.” She chewed on her finger. 

“Why not?” 

She shrugged. 

“Don’t put your fingers in your mouth baby.” Leia spoke gently. “Your hands are dirty.” 

“So?” Kira looked at her with her big brown eyes. “You do.” 

“When my hands are clean loved.” Leia smoothed her hair. 

Kira took her finger out of her mouth, sighed and shot her a look that was pure Leia. Han laughed his big laugh. “She’s your kid for sure.” 

Leia laughed in spite of herself and kissed Kira’s forehead. “We’ll wash them when we get back to mumma’s office.” 

Kira shrugged. 

“What time are we have dinner with The Queen and The Viceroy?” 

“1900.” 

“Fine.” Leia shook her head. “Baby, you got all your toys?” 

“Uh uh.” 

“Go and get them.” 

“Okay.” Kira spoke getting up and heading back to where she’d been playing. 

“Lunch break over?” Han brushed Leia’s hair away from her neck and kissed it. 

“Mmm, hmm.” 

“Damn.” He spoke against her lips, his fingers trailing across her stomach making the muscles there tighten. “So, what do you have planned after dinner?” 

“I have a date with a tall, handsome Corellian. You might know him.” 

“I might.” Han spoke tracing the underside of her breast. 

“Ha-an.” She breathed, her voice catching in her throat. 

“I need you.” He whispered with his lips against her ear. 

She breathed a ragged breath wishing they were home in the lounge instead of in a public park on a blanket under the memorial statue of the woman she’d once been. “Please.” 

“I know.” He spoke slipping his fingers under her chin and turning her head towards him. 

“I know it’s been too long.” She breathed just before he kissed her gently, holding back. “Gods.” She spoke catching her breath as he pressed his forehead against her. “I love you.” 

He smiled at her. “I know.” 

She laughed. “You do, do you?” 

“I’ve known for a long time.” He spoke kissing her rather chastely. “You have a great Sabbac face, but everyone has a tell.” 

“What’s my tell?” 

He laughed. “Huh uh, that’s for me to know.” 

She pushed at his chest playfully. “Han!” 

“Nope”. 

“Oh, you’re so full of shit.” Leia laughed. 

He kissed her once more getting up. “Come on, I’ll help you pack up.” He extended his hand to her. 

“Such a gentleman.” She spoke as he pulled her to her feet. 

“Hey.” He mocked hurt feelings. “I thought I was a scoundrel


	15. Breaking Point

Leia let herself into the apartment she and Han and Kira had settled into in the New Aldera Palace. The palace had once been a temple of some sort and so the royal apartments were converted from the cells of priests. A wall had been taken down here and there and another had been added somewhere else. They were small, functional and spartan, designed for guests of the family, dignitaries, members of other Houses, diplomats. They were not however, designed for the long term stay of even a small family, Leia had, had to plug the shower drain to make a makeshift bathing tub for bathing Kira until Han had gotten fed up and removed the shower altogether and put in a tub. 

She smiled hearing laughter and splashing from the hall fresher as she set down her bag in the lounge. Han had taken off the rest of the afternoon and taken Kira to scout possible locations to build their home rather than have her sit through Leia’s meeting. 

“My cover is blown.” Leia spoke leaning against the doorframe of the hall fresher. 

“What do you mean, Leia Solo?” Han spoke looking up at her from where he was crouched with his sleeves rolled up washing Kira’s hair. 

“In the meeting, one of the partners asked me why I wasn’t acting as Princess.” 

“You knew it was coming.” He spoke shielding Kira’s eyes as he rinsed her hair. “I mean it’s not like you put any work into your alias. That and you may not still feel like you, but you sure still look like you.” 

She nodded. 

“So, what’s next?” 

She shrugged sitting down on the closed sani. “I don’t know Han.” 

“You’re not gong to quit your job are you?” 

“No.” 

“So, what did you say?

“I said that I wasn’t acting in that capacity and that I currently had no plans to do so.” 

“Yeah, but you’re still The Princess, whether you want to be or not.” He spoke reaching up and grabbing a towel. 

“I know.” 

Han shrugged. “Not much you can really do about it.” 

Leia nodded watching Han dry Kira off and dress her in a soft nightgown. “Somebody’s tired.” She spoke watching Kira yawn while Han combed her hair. “Kira, would you like daddy to tell you a story before your nap?” 

“Uh uh.” She mumbled rubbing her eyes. “Mumma.” 

“Do you want me to tell you a story?” Leia spoke getting to her feet. 

“Uh huh.” 

“Alright, but my stories are much less entertaining than daddy’s.” 

“Mumma.” She almost whined reaching out to Leia as Han picked her up. 

“Okay, loved.” Leia spoke taking her from Han. “Okay.” 

“A long time ago, well I guess it wasn’t all that long ago, but it feels like it was…” Leia began as she tucked Kira into her big girl bed. “Almost all the way across the galaxy, there was a beautiful world called Alderaan and that is where you and I are from. On Alderaan we had mountains and forests and lakes and streams and so much snow.” She spoke lying down with her on top of the covers. “In a big palace in a city much larger than this place lived The Queen of Alderaan and her consort The Viceroy. The Queen and The Viceroy wanted to have a child more than anything else in the known universe.” Leia spoke telling the story her mother had told her when she was just a girl. 

“And they could not. The Queen was heartbroken by this and so The Viceroy searched far and wide for just the right little girl to complete their family, he searched different planets and different systems. Then one day in the fall, when the leaves had begun to brown and the winds had begun to grow colder, just a few days before the celebration of the dead, The Viceroy came upon a foundling just a few days old. She was beautiful but inconsolable but when he took her into his arms she stilled and she stopped crying and stared into his eyes. He knew in that moment that this was his daughter. This tiny baby was to be The Princess of Alderaan. So, he took the tiny little brown eyed child back to Alderaan to his wife The Queen…” 

Leia stopped feeling Kira drift off to sleep. “And they raised her as their own.” She whispered. “And they promised to love her unconditionally for a while until at 19 she gave her life to save the Rebellion. Then one fall day when they found out that she’d lived when their planet had died— they broke their promise to her when they realized that she was no longer the Princess they had memorialized and everything changed.” She smoothed Kira’s hair as she slept. “But you don't have to worry about that loved, daddy and I will never do that to you.” She kissed her temple and got up carefully. “We keep our promises.”

Han poured himself a glass of whiskey and Leia a glass of the wine from Aldera. He’d brought a couple of bottles back from the Falcon when he’d been out with Kira that afternoon. He’d planned to take one of them to dinner as a peace offering and he knew that Leia would need a glass or two to relax before they headed over to his royal in-laws. 

“She go down okay?” Han asked as Leia sat down in his lap.

Leia nodded curling up against him. 

“You okay?” He slipped his arms around her. 

She shook her head

“You want to talk about it?” 

She sighed pressing her forehead against his temple. “I don’t know if I can do this.” 

Han took a deep breath, he’d heard a tremor in her voice but he wasn’t sure if she was angry or if she was on the verge of tears. His best guess was both and so he went with it… cautiously. “Being here? Dealing with your parents?” 

She nodded. 

Han sighed, relieved he still felt that old ice pick fear tickle his spine when Leia said “this” that she meant their relationship. He hated that he was still so insecure, they’d been unofficially, official for almost as long as they’d known each other, but still every time Leia had said “I can’t do this”, he always lost his breath and his heart always pounded in his ears, and he always felt panic. He felt guilty for feeling relief at her answer when Leia was obviously in so much pain. “It’s got to get better, right? I mean we’ve only been here a few weeks.” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Maybe that’s why they want us to come over for dinner.” He ran his fingers through her hair gently trying to help her relax. 

She shrugged. 

Leia watched Han and her father smoke her father’s cigarras on the balcony while she and her mother found ways not to speak to each other. Breha was angrier about Leia cutting her hair than she had anticipated and Leia was quieter about it than she’d intended to be. Leia was tough and outspoken and generally unintimidated. She’d faced down Tarkin and Vader and Palpatine, but she’d willingly face each of them again, if it meant she never had to deal the angry version of Queen Breha Organa again. 

“Anymore surprises?” Breha looked at her. 

Leia shook her head, she felt so, so small and oddly she felt like she was going into one of her episodes as she sat on the edge of the sofa tearing at her cuticles as she fought to keep it together, trying to stay in the room, fighting her trauma response. She watched Kira scribble great murals on filmsy blissfully unaware of the storm brewing between mother and daughter. Leia clearminded Kira, protecting her as she felt herself coming apart. 

"Next thing you know, you're going to tell me you're pregnant." Breha spoke watching Kira. 

Leia shook her head and continued to chew at her cuticles. 

“Stop chewing on your fingers, Leia.” Breha grabbed her wrist. 

Leia jerked her hand out of Breha’s grip. “Don’t.” She narrowed her eyes. “Don’t ever do that again.” 

“Leia…” 

Leia felt herself slipping and got up. “I can’t.” She stepped backwards her body moving automatically as she panicked. “I can’t, I have to go. I can’t be here now.” 

“Leia?” Breha got up and tried to reach for her, to take her into her arms, to comfort her. 

“Please, don’t.” Leia dodged her. “I can’t.” 

Han heard the apartment door open and close and rushed in. “What’s going on in here, where’s Leia?” 

“I—I don’t know she… something is very wrong.” Breha struggled to put into words what she’d just experienced. “She was like a wild animal… she… what’s happened to her?” 

Bail slipped his arms around her gently. “It’s alright.” 

“What’s happened to our little girl B?” Breha voice shook as she spoke. “Her eyes, you should have seen her eyes.” 

“Where did she go?” Han enunciated slowly, anger rising in his voice. 

“I—I don’t know, she… she just…” 

Han threw up his hands. “Can you at least watch Kira?” He spoke harshly. 

Bail nodded. “Kira will be just fine here.” 

Han rushed out of the apartment, he didn’t like the idea of Leia disassociating in unfamiliar surroundings. The New Aldera settlement was coming along nicely but it was still on a forested moon and still pretty rough in places. If Leia wandered into the forest like she’d been prone to do as a child, it could take days even weeks to find her. He knew that under regular circumstances she could take care of herself, if he was honest she was probably better in the woods than he was, but in a disassociative state he wasn't sure what skills she’d remember. He rushed down the hallway and down the stairs to their apartment. 

“Leia?” He spoke letting himself in. He searched the small space but it was obvious that she hadn’t been there. He sighed, if she wasn’t in the apartment then she probably wasn’t in the palace. She didn’t like the palace, she’d made that very clear on several occasions. 

She had to be outside, it was dark now and relatively cold and Leia could be anywhere.


	16. Home

Leia walked off, she'd reached her breaking point, she was done. She wanted to go home. Where was home now? Alderaan was gone and this place and its people weren't her’s anymore. She couldn't go back to Yavin, not with Kira and she wouldn't go anywhere without Kira or Han. Han, Han had offered to take her back to Corellia, but she knew that Corellia was Han’s Alderaan and they couldn't go back there. She just wanted to be away from this place, this place that hadn't allowed her to calm down since they'd touched down. She wandered deeper into the forest just trying to relax, trying to breathe. 

Han rushed down the steps of the palace and jogged toward the touch port where the Falcon sat idle. Leia had always felt safe on the Falcon, she had to be there. He doubted his decision to go straight to the Falcon when he reached it and the ramp was up, and the lights were off, and all systems were still down just the way they'd left her when the armed guards had come for Leia, when she was still the imposter. He shook his head, even when they'd found that she wasn't an imposter, her mother had still treated her as if she were. Han didn't even try the manual release for the ramp, Leia couldn't have reached it anyway. He walked back toward the palace, she was in the woods he knew it. He'd never been so certain of anything in his life. He wished Luke were here he could feel her, unless she blocked him out, she did that when she didn't want to be bothered. Chewie, he could smell her, but Chewie was days away with his own family on Kashyyyk. Kira could feel her, but Kira was his last resort, he never wanted Kira to see her mumma like this and Leia didn't want her to feel her like this either. 

Fuck. 

He never should have brought her here. Good job Solo, your wife? No, no girlfriend? No, not anymore. What was she to him? Leia, his Leia was somewhere in the dense forest. Gods he loved her and if he found her he was going to marry her, quietly without the blessing or attendance of the royal family. Enough of this ambiguous bantha shit they'd been dancing around for the last two, now almost three years. He was done keeping secrets, they loved each other and had decided to raise Kira together to her birth parents on forged filmsy they could damn well get married. They should have never come here first, even though Leia hadn't cared about the old traditions around marriage and courtship, her mother and the people that had survived had clung tightly to what was left of Alderaan, and the traditions were all that remained. He should have seen it, hell Leia should have seen it too, but they both missed it and now she was paying dearly for their misstep. 

“Leia!” He shouted in frustration as he entered the forest where it look as though the grass was broken. 

Leia built a fire and sat down, she felt safe here in the woods even the night noises didn't really bother her. She assumed that Han would be along shortly, she wasn’t that deep into the woods and she knew he’d smell the smoke from her fire. He was close enough that she’d heard him shout her name and assumed that he’d follow the broken limbs she’d left for him. She didn’t want to be lost from Han, just from everybody else. 

“Lei?” Han spoke stepping into the cleared forest floor where she sat at her hand built fire warming herself with her back to him. “You good?” 

She nodded. 

“You sure?” He spoke gently, walking slowly as if she were a deer that would spook easily and run father into the underbrush. 

“I’m better out here.” She spoke, the strength in her voice was back. 

“You’re um… you’re always better out here, aren’t you?” 

She nodded pulling her knees up to her chest. 

“So when you’d run away, was it similar to tonight?” 

She nodded as he sat down with her. 

“So you’ve always disassociated, not just since the Death Star?” 

She looked at him with those big brown eyes of hers and shrugged. “Guess so.” 

He shook a cigarette out of his pack and handed it to her. 

She lit up and sighed. “It’s not going to get any better Han, are you okay that?” 

He nodded. “Guess so Princess, I’m not going anywhere.” 

She smiled at him. 

“So, I’ve been trying to learn a little Moccoan from the headmistress at the orphanage, so that I can talk to the kids. They see the tool belt and they ask questions. Some of them speak Basic and some of them don’t.” 

“That’s sweet of you.” Leia spoke resting her head on her knees and watching him, he seemed nervous all of a sudden so much so that it radiated off of him. 

“So, you um…” He cleared his throat. “Can I practice with you a little?” 

“Here?” 

He shrugged. “Why not?” 

“Okay hotshot.” 

He smiled and reached out to her, taking her hand in his. “Hola. Yo me llano Han y soy de Corellia.” 

“That’s very good Han.” 

He smiled at her. “Y construyo cosas.” 

She smiled at him. “Mi esposa es una princesa.” 

“That’s good Han, but you mean novia. Mi novia es una princesa.” 

He shook his head. “Mi esposa.” 

“Mi novia. Han it’s mi novia, we’re not married.” 

He cleared his throat. “Casate conmigo.” He spoke looking into her eyes. 

“Que?” Leia asked, positive he knew exactly what he’d said. 

“Casate conmigo.” 

“Do you know what you’re saying?” 

He nodded. “Leia, casate conmigo.” 

She looked at him, she wouldn’t turn him down if he asked and now he had, in her first language. He'd taken the time to learn how to ask her in Moccoan, how could she say no? 

“Te amo me casas conmigo.” 

She nodded. 

“Yeah?” 

She nodded and he closed the distance kissing her gently. “Han.” She spoke around his lips. “Can we elope?” 

“I wouldn’t have it any other way princess.” 

“Just you me and Kira?” 

“Well, I’d like Chewie to be there and Luke and Wedge.” 

She nodded. 

“How is she?” Breha asked as Han gently lifted Kira off of the lounger careful not to wake her. 

“She’s fine.” He spoke tightly. 

“What’s wrong with my Lelila?” 

“Nothing is wrong with her.” Han looked at Breha. “She survived things that you couldn’t imagine. Maybe you should have a talk with your husband, he seems to have a pretty good idea about the risks of getting your daughter captured by the Empire.” 

“Han?” 

“Your Highness?” 

“Will she be alright?” 

“Will all due respect, she’s been alright, but she’ll never been the Princess you remember. The Princess you knew died the moment things went south on the Death Star and the Leia we know now, is who survived. Physically, she’s your daughter, but she’ll never be quite the same and the sooner you accept that the better off she’ll be.” 

Bail put his hand on Breha’s shoulder. 

“B?” 

“He’s right.” Bail spoke quietly. “She’s different, but she’s still our Leia.” 

“You should give her a chance, she misses you desperately but she doesn’t think that you and the Viceroy love her anymore.”


	17. Sleep

Han slipped his arms around Leia’s waist. He pushed up her shirt and kissed her stomach as he lie with his chest between her legs. He felt her body tighten in his arms and watched her for her reaction. She raised her eyebrows as she read but didn’t look up. He kissed her again lower and watched her bite her lip. 

“Captain Solo, are you enjoying yourself?” She spoke distractedly, still reading. 

He pushed himself up with one arm and reached out taking her data pad from her. “It’s break time counselor.” 

“Han…” Leia protested as he removed her glasses. 

He smiled at her. 

“Okay, hotshot.” 

“Are you going to work tomorrow?” He looked up at her. 

“Hmm.” She ran her fingers through his hair lazily. “I'm working from home tomorrow. Why?” 

“Well, you had quite an evening.” 

“Yes, I know.” She spoke wrapping her legs around him lazily. “A handsome Corellian proposed to me in the woods.”

“Should I be worried?” He raised an eyebrow. 

“No.” She dug her heel into his back. “He hasn’t given me a ring yet, so you have plenty of time to make your move.” 

He closed the distance between them, holding his torso off of her and looking down at her. “A ring, huh?” 

She slipped her arms around his neck. 

“Well it was kind of a spur of the moment thing, I didn't plan it. I'd always thought I'd ask your mother first and take you somewhere nice…”

“Han, I don't like grand gestures. It was perfect.” She pulled him down to her. “I'm kind of a sucker for a scoundrel who can speak Moccoan.”

“Si?” 

She kissed him gently. “Si.” 

He lowered himself down to her. He kissed her slowly in his easy rhythm. He felt her hand cup the back of his head. He leaned on his forearm and slipped his free hand up her shirt. He cupped her hip and slipped his hand up over the ragged scar from the blaster wound she’d gotten on Ord Mantell. The skin was still sensitive and he felt Leia wince. He moved his hand away quickly, sliding his hand up her rib cage, rough callouses against silky soft skin. He felt her arch her body against his. He broke the kiss long enough to pull her shirt off over her head. He watched her hair, now shorter than the last time, fall back down around her shoulders and feather around the sides of her face. He ran his fingers through her hair and looked into her soft brown eyes for a long time. 

“Han?” She spoke catching her breath. “What is it?” 

He kissed her gently. He wasn’t ready to tell her that he loved her more than anyone else he’d ever known. He wasn’t ready to tell her that he’d bought her a ring back on Corellia. He kissed her to distract her, he kissed her because it felt right, he kissed her to reassure her. He let his hands drift and by the time he’d kissed from her jaw to her neck and down to her breasts, she’d forgotten her question. 

Han watched her as he worked his way down. He watched the way that she tilted her head and arched her back. He watched the rising and falling of her chest and her breathing quickened. 

“Ha-an.” She breathed drawing his name out. 

He busied himself taking his time. He wanted to tell her that she meant more to him than the Falcon, that when she’d disappeared and he thought of her getting lost in the forest he knew that never wanted to be without her. Instead, he continued down her body, slightly distracted by his thoughts, but hyper focused so that she wouldn’t notice.   
Leia moaned feeling his mouth on her. He was slow and deliberate, cautious—worried. She'd had one of her disassociative spell just barely an hour before. She still hadn't told him what had triggered it this time and so he was careful not to rush, he kept his weight off of her, kept her from feeling pinned down underneath him. He was slow, but effective watching her face and her body, listening to her making sure that she was in control of everything. He wasn't necessarily comfortable having sex with her so soon after one of her episodes but she had been receptive and sounded like herself when they started and so far she seemed alright. He was careful as he drew her out, listening to her breathing change, watching her hands fist the bed clothes, feeling her dig her heels into the soft mattress as he gently nudged her closer and then finally pushing her over the edge. 

“Han.” She finally moaned from somewhere deep and primal, squeezing his head with her thighs as her body reacted and her climax broke like the ocean, washing over her, hard yet gentle reassuring. 

Han rested his head against her thigh watching her as he continued to work his fingers against that spot deep inside, her body shook with each stroke. 

“Han, Han please.” She breathed, gods it was so good, he was so good. She couldn’t think clearly. 

“Tell me what you want.” He spoke gently, watching her still and waiting for her. 

“You.” 

Han closed the distance and kissed her, she could still taste herself on his lips and it oddly turned her on in a reassuring sort of way. This rough, slapdash smuggler, who really wasn’t, always went down on her first, always made sure she came before he did. The scoundrel who really wasn’t, gods he loved her, loved her more than she could imagine. She could feel him hard against her thigh but he wasn’t rushing her, he never did. She moaned as his fingers, his long fingers still stroked her. 

“Please.” She spoke against his lips, lips still slick from her. 

He wasn’t sure she was ready for him, for the weight of him on top of her all of that pressure and then him inside, pinning her to the mattress with every thrust. Gods, he wanted to be inside of her. He pressed his free hand against the small of her back and moved on to his back, easily taking her with him. 

“I thought you didn’t like it with me on top.” She kissed his jaw. 

“I’ll take you however I can get you.” He spoke watching her straddle his waist, pressing her hands against his chest, digging her nails into the tender flesh. He groaned feeling her ass against him. “Besides I like the access it gives me.” He spoke sliding his hands along her rib cage and over her breasts. “Especially with your hair shorter.” 

Leia smiled down at him with her hair in her face. He watched her run her fingers through it. 

“Gods.” He breathed watching her lower herself down onto top of him, watched her find her own rhythm as she dragged her nails down his chest. He was always a bit surprised that she could take all of him, but it drove him crazy to watch her do it.   
He could tell she was having a hard time and he was so close, he tried to slow down tried to think of anything he could to hold off the inevitable, but he could feel it building and gods he wanted to come, wanted to come inside of her.   
She groaned out of frustration and tried a new angle, stroking harder, trying to reach it, but it felt so far away and she could tell it was so close for Han. She tried to catch up, tried to will herself to come. 

Han reached out slipping a finger between where their bodies joined finding her hard and trying to slow down as he drew her out. Trying to focus on Leia as he felt her rhythm change, felt her moans lose that frustrated edge. “Ven por mi.” He breathed   
in Moccoan. “Ven para mi, mi corazon.” 

He felt it, felt her moans, felt her body tighten, felt her tighten around him as she came again, harder this time. He watched her arch her back. The sight of her, and sound of her, the feel of her body causing his own climax.   
She watched his face as she felt him release inside of her, his jaw set and his mouth open a little. He moaned holding her in place with his hands on her hips, she put her hands over his wanting to feel the security of him inside of her just a little longer. As if each time they fucked his body took away the memory of what had been done to her. Now, now when she thought about him, she saw only him, not the memories that haunted her. 

Han lie on his back, wrecked catching his breath as Leia cleaned up, her after sex routine. He was used to it, even though he just wanted to hold her in his arms, he knew that she was prone to cystitis and that she’d be back freshly showered smelling of starflowers. Sometimes he’d join her, but tonight—tonight he was too wrecked. Between the events of the evening and the sex, she’d wrecked him. 

He was almost asleep when she curled back up with him. Burrowing under the covers and putting her cold feet on him. He smiled wrapping her in his arms and dozing off in the afterglow. 

“Mumma!” Kira screamed from her room after they’d been asleep for a while. “Daddy! Mumma!” 

Leia gasped sitting straight up in bed. 

“Daddy!” Kira screamed again. 

Han sat up catching his breath, Kira’s screams startling him awake. “What’s going on?” He spoke, suddenly alert grabbing his blaster out of the night stand. 

“Mumma!” Kira screamed again as Leia pulled on her kimono. 

“She’s had a nightmare.” 

He nodded rubbing his eyes. 

“Put that thing away.” Leia hissed already crossing to the door. 

Han cleared his throat. “Bring her in here in case she has another one.” 

“Mumma!” 

Leia rushed down the hall to Kira’s big girl room. “What is it baby?” She spoke rushing into her room where Kira sat sobbing. 

“Mumma.” 

Leia scooped her up into her arms and held her close to her chest. “I’m right here, it’s alright.” She spoke holding her close, dancing her across the room to the door. “Let’s go to mumma and daddy’s bed and sleep there, okay?” 

She nodded, her hot tears soaking through the thin shimmer silk of Leia’s kimono. 

“You’re safe, baby.” Leia crooned in her mommy voice, it had just developed on its own with Kira around.   
Han smiled at her. “Hey bitsy.” He spoke gently, in soft tones, in a voice that he thought he’d never use again as Leia handed Kira to him so that she could change. 

“Daddy.” She sobbed as he held her close. 

“What did you see bitsy?” 

She shook her head burrowing further into his arms. He kissed her night braids as she held his ear between her thumb and the crook of her forefinger, just like Leia did after a nightmare. He knew the truth about Kira, without ever seeing the evidence, he knew that somehow she was Leia’s. They were too much alike for her not to be. He just hoped that they never had to face any other Jedi children made from Leia’s biological material. He knew it would destroy Leia to someday stare into her own eyes, different— evil but the same, ready to fight to the death because someone had trained him or her into an unfeeling machine. He knew Kira was lucky, he knew why Kira had nightmares and why she didn’t want Leia in her head. They’d tried to make her dark and she was grey like her mother, he could somehow feel it. 

“It’s okay bitsy, no one is ever going to take you away. I promise.” He soothed just holding her close. “It’s alright loved.” He used Leia’s word. “You’re safe now, no one will ever hurt you again.” 

She nodded starting to come back as Leia got back into bed wearing one of his shirts. 

“How is she?” Leia spoke rubbing her back gently. 

“She’s okay, she’s starting to come back, just like you do.” 

Kira moved to Leia's arms almost as soon as she’d laid back down. Leia felt her seeking the comfort of her force presence. 

Han watched them together, the improbable mother and child. 

“I don’t know what to do for her.” Leia looked at him. 

“This.” He spoke reaching out and slipping his arm around both of them. “This is what she needs for now.” 

Leia nodded. 

“Until she lets you do anything else, this is all you can do for her.” 

“I know.” She spoke rubbing her back gently. “She was just so terrified.” 

“We all were, you saw me go for my blaster, I thought someone was in here with us.” 

Leia looked at him. “I felt that too, I think she somehow projected it.” 

“I’m going to have a look around.” Han got up grabbing his blaster. “I just can’t shake it.” 

Leia sang quietly to Kira, pulling back from her just a bit to see if she was asleep. Kira looked at her with those eyes, those eyes that were so much like her own. “You’re safe.” Leia soothed, wishing it were true. Sure, she was physically safe, New Alderaan was probably the safest place in the galaxy, but Leia couldn’t keep her own nightmares away, let alone Kira’s. She unbraided Kira’s night braids knowing how restricting they could be, she’d brush her hair out in the morning. She ran her fingers through her hair gently. “I love you.” She soothed. “And no one is ever going to take you away from me.” She didn’t know why she’d said it but she just felt like Kira needed to hear it in that moment. Kira curled in closer and Leia felt her relax. 

Han walked back in. 

“Well?” 

“Nothing.” He spoke putting his blaster back in the nightstand. 

Leia nodded knowing he wound’t find anything. 

“How is she?” Han spoke getting back into bed with them. 

“She’s starting to calm down now.” 

“How are you?” He spoke running his fingers through her hair, now that it was shorter and she wore it down all of the time he couldn’t keep his hands out of it. 

“I’m alright.” She spoke watching him watch her. 

“You sure?” He ran his thumb across her cheek. 

She nodded. 

Han sighed. “That was terrifying, you know, to hear her scream like that.” 

Leia nodded. 

“I—I hate that we can’t… I mean I’m used to…” He sighed. “It’s like we can’t protect her.” 

Leia nodded. “She won’t even let me try.” 

He nodded. 

“I feel like I’m failing her.” 

“You’re not.” 

“I have no idea what I’m doing.” 

“You’re doing a great job at faking it.” 

“I’m not faking anything.” Leia snapped. 

“That’s not what I mean.” 

Leia glared at him, even after years of speaking and understanding Basic, Leia was still prone to taking things out of context and she’d missed what Han had meant. Han, hadn’t realized until very recently that this miscommunication was easily remedied. 

“I was responding to what you were saying about not knowing what you were doing. I meant, for someone who doesn’t know what you’re doing, you’re doing a great job.” 

She looked at him. “Why didn’t you just say that?” 

“I did, just not like that.” 

She nodded. “She’s asleep.” 

“Good.” 

Han stayed up until daylight watching and waiting for the next nightmare. He’d promised Leia, years before that he would keep her safe, and now he’d promised Kira the same. Tonight, that meant being alert enough to wake them at the first signs of a nightmare. Finally once the sun had begun to rise, he let himself fall back to sleep, knowing that Leia would be up soon and that she and Kira would start their morning routine, letting him sleep for a while. Before too long Kira would be waking him, wanting her daddy to play with while Leia worked from home and he’d struggle to stay awake while coloring. He’d fight sleep until her nap time and Leia would laugh at him passed out on the floor when she returned from putting Kira down for her afternoon nap.


	18. Mulligan

Laughter woke Han from his late morning slumber. Adult female laughter, not Kira’s nor the light laughter Leia reserved for Kira, but deep heady female laughter. Leia’s laugh a deep alto incredulous laugh, the one she reserved for dirty jokes and his frequent sexual banter. He pushed up on his forearms and listened, he heard the hushed tones of a female voice that he did not recognize and then that deep laugh of Leia’s again. He got up and wiped the sleep from his eyes as he walked down the hall. 

“Well, you have to marry any man who follows you into a garbage chute.” He heard an unfamiliar voice state as if she were stating a known fact. 

Leia laughed, he liked hearing her laugh so freely. 

“Oh, Han?” Leia asked as he walked into the lounge. “Did we wake you?” 

He made a dismissive sound and waived his hand as he walked through to the kitchen. 

“He is handsome.” The taller lighter haired woman spoke as Han walked into the kitchen. “Does he speak? I mean when they're that handsome, they really don't have to.” 

“Caff.” Leia spoke fighting laughter. 

Han leaned in the doorway between the kitchen and the lounge sipping his caff and watching the two women interact. 

Kira got up from where she was coloring and took his hand in both hands of hers. Han smiled at Leia as he let Kira drag him over to where she'd been sitting. 

“Sit, daddy.” She spoke looking up at him with Leia’s eyes. 

“No please?” 

Kira sighed, clearly exasperated by his request of politeness. 

Leia covered her mouth trying not to laugh and buried her face in her female companion’s shoulder. 

“Clearly, this is your child.” He looked at her. 

“Please sit, daddy.” Kira looked at him. 

“On the floor?” 

“Uh huh.” She nodded. 

“Alright bitsy.” He spoke lowering his tall frame down to sit on the floor. “Whatcha doin’?” He asked watching her bring her things over to him and crawl onto his lap. 

“Using you as a chair, obviously.” Leia’s friend spoke. 

“Obviously.” He spoke watching Kira color from his lap. “Am I a good chair, bitsy?” 

“Yep.” 

“Oh!” Leia spoke up, realizing that Han wouldn't have a clue as to whom their guest was. “Han, this is my sister, Winter.” 

“Ah, I've heard about you.” Han spoke wryly. 

“And I've heard about you as well.” She folded her arms and narrowed her eyes at him. 

He shrugged. “I'm sure it's all true.” 

Winter raised an eyebrow at him. “I expected a scoundrel of your caliber to put up more of a fight.” 

Kira handed Han a wax crayon. “Daddy, color.” 

He smiled taking the crayon from her. “Hey bitsy, you want to come with me to talk to your papa?” He spoke as they colored together. 

“Uh huh.” 

“What are you talking to my father about?” Leia looked at him as he got up. 

“A parcel of land in the forest so that I can build your house.” He spoke picking up Kira. 

Leia nodded. 

“He’s building you a house?” Winter asked after Han had taken Kira to get dressed. 

“Yes.” 

“Handsome and good with his hands?” 

Leia blushed and Winter laughed. 

“We’ll get to that.” 

Leia raised her eyebrows at her and sipped her caff innocently. 

“Don’t look at me like that.” Winter continue to laugh. “I know you, remember? We grew up together, sneaked into Cantinas together, kept score of our—scores… remember me?” 

Leia laughed leaning against her sister. “What happened to mum?” 

Winter sighed slipping her arm around her and resting her cheek against her the side of her head. “She lost her home and you and everything else she cared about. Alderaan was gone and so she decided to cling to the traditions, rather than move forward like we did.” 

Leia sighed. “So what do I do?” 

“Give her time.” 

She nodded. “You don't think she blames me, do you?” 

“No, she blamed papa for a while. It almost destroyed them, but things got better, she mourned.” 

“And now I’m back.” 

“And now you’re back after she built an idealized version of you in her mind. You know, the version of you that was never really you?” 

Leia nodded. 

“And you stand in stark contrast to that.” 

“I thought just being alive would be enough.” 

“It is for me. Hey, you and Han should come over this evening, Tycho is making her mother’s paella.” 

“Hmm, I do like paella.” 

“You can come over for dinner and Tycho and Han can go out and get a couple of drinks at Mateo’s down the street and you and  
I can stay in and drink wine and talk about sex.” 

Leia nodded. 

“Bring some toys or something for the kid.” 

“She’s easy.” 

Han sat in Bail’s office waiting for the Viceroy with Kira in his lap. She was quieter than usual and stayed close, rather than roaming around like she normally did. “You okay, bitsy?” 

She nodded against his chest. 

“Sleepy?” 

She nodded again. 

“I’m sorry princess.” He spoke gently. “You could have stayed home with your mumma.” 

“Wanted to see papa.” 

Han nodded. “You like your papa, don’t you bitsy?” 

“Uh huh.” 

“What about your… oh, what did mumma call her. Your lita?” 

Kira shrugged. “She mean.” 

“To you? Is she mean to you?” 

“No, she hurt mumma.” 

Han sighed. “I don't think she means to sweetheart.” 

Kira shrugged. 

“Well, we have to give her time, you mumma was gone for a long time.” Han spoke watching Kira play with his fingers. 

“Why?” 

“Because your momma isn’t the same person she was when she left.” 

Kira shrugged. “I love mumma.” 

“And so do I and so does your papa and so does your lita.” 

Kira shrugged. 

“I don’t get it either baby.” He spoke kissing her temple. “But you know what?” 

“What?” She looked at him. 

“I love you.” He kissed the bridge of her nose. 

She laughed. “Love you daddy.” 

Bail let himself into his office and beamed and Kira. “Bueno, hola mi pequena princesa.” 

“Hola, papa.” 

“Como estas, mija?” He spoke lifting her off Han’s lap and bracketing her on his hip. 

“Bien.” 

He smiled. “I saw the coordinates you sent Han. You can have as much of that land as you want. Build a quiet, isolated retreat for Leia, the woods calm her.” 

Han nodded. 

“Now, why are you really here?” Bail spoke as Kira played with the pin that secured his cape. 

“We need to talk about the Queen and the Princess. This has got to stop, it’s destroying Leia.” 

“I know.” 

“I need you to mediate. They both respect you.” 

Bail nodded. 

“Kira and I are going to go put some stakes out on the land. Leia and her sister are having caff in our quarters. She’s not working today because of last night.” 

Winter opened the door to Leia’s quarters. “Papa?” 

“Hola, mija.” 

“Hi.” 

“I need to talk to your sister.” 

“Alright.” 

“Alone.” 

She held up her hands. “Leia? Dinner?” She spoke walking into the lounge and grabbing her bag. 

Leia nodded as Bail sat down. 

“Mija.” Bail spoke taking her hand in both of his. “I’m bringing your mum over and the three of us are going to work this out.” 

She shook her head. “I don’t think we can, papa.” 

“Explain that to me.” 

“It’s really very simple papa, she blames me for Alderaan.” Leia spoke, her voice was quiet but strong. 

“Why would you say that?” 

“Because it’s true.” 

“Oh, mija.” He spoke quietly. “You know that’s not true.” 

She shook her head. “No, no I don’t.” 

“I’m going to get your mother. The two of you need to talk.” 

“She doesn’t want to hear what I have to say.” 

“I’ll make sure she does. We need to resolve this mija.” 

Leia nodded wiping her eyes. 

He kissed her forehead gently. “Let me handle this.” 

She nodded. 

Leia’s hands shook as she carried caff service into the lounge. Bail watched her as he and Breha walked into the apartment and  
rushed to her. “Lei?” 

She looked at him. “I’m fine papa.” 

“B?” Breha gasped. 

“Let me take it mija.” He spoke taking the tray from her gently. 

“I’m really alright papa.” 

“That doesn’t look like alright to me.” 

“It’s normal.” She spoke trying to rub away the burning tingling sensation in her hands. 

Breha watched her. 

“Come sit down, mija.” Bail spoke taking her by her upper arms gently. 

“Papa, I’m really fine.” She sighed sitting down on the lounger. 

“What happened to you?” Breha spoke as she sat down with her. 

“Force lightning mumma.” She spoke quietly. 

Breha sighed slipping her arm around her and pressing her forehead to her temple. “I’m sorry.” 

“But I fought back and I didn’t give them any information.” 

“You did very well mija.” Breha soothed 

She shook her head. “Not well enough.” 

“Leia, you know Tarkin was going to make us all pay for being so deeply involved in the Rebellion. There is nothing you could have done.” 

“They made me watch.” She spoke looking at her hands. “I felt so many people die, mumma. I felt them all cry out and then suddenly without warning they were just gone. Just snuffed out like millions of candles. I had to watch it and I felt it all. I was glad they were going to execute me, I didn’t want to live with it. With what I’d done.” 

“It’s not your fault, no one blames you.” 

“How can they not?” 

“How could they blame you.” 

“I’d have given my life if they’d given me the opportunity.” 

“Tarkin didn’t want your life Leia, he wanted you to suffer for crossing him, for daring to fight back.” Breha spoke holding her, rubbing her back the way she used to when she was just a little girl. When her force sensitivity was too much for her. When her mind felt foreign to her. When she’d feel so intensely that she would just scream in the darkness. Night terrors, she’d had them for as long as she could remember, even though she couldn't remember what they were about. 

Leia took a deep breath and sat up. 

Breha smiled at her.

“What, mumma?” 

“Leia.” Breha spoke gently. “Tell me about your life with Han.” She spoke taking Leia’s hand in hers. “Tell me why you love him so deeply. I know that he cares for you and Kira, but he’s so different from what we would have wanted for you. I want to like him because of how good he is to you, but I want to understand. Put me at ease Lei.” 

Bail smiled getting up. “I’m going back to work.” He kissed Breha gently. “You okay mija?” He spoke kissing Leia’s forehead. 

She nodded.  
“I want to know what you’re like now.” Breha spoke after Bail had left. “Tell me the story of your life. I want to know who you’ve become. I want to know the young woman my little girl has grown up to be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this AU, and most of mine Tycho is a woman.


	19. Mother and Child Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, but it's as long as it needs to be.

“Well.” Leia spoke folding her legs under herself. “After the Death Star, High Command wanted me to go into hiding, but I refused. I wanted to fight.” She shrugged. “I guess I just thought that there wasn't much else for me to do. Father and Mon Mothma started this rebellion, I couldn't just walk away. And, I wanted revenge for what happened to me and my people.” 

Breha nodded. “Did you like fighting?” 

Leia nodded. 

“Did you kill?” 

She nodded. “If my life or Han’s life depended on it.” 

“You fought together?” 

“We did, we were mission partners.” 

“What made you change your mind?” 

“I was almost killed on our last mission to Ord Mantell, and Carlist enlisted Han to take me off planet to recuperate and we found Kira.” 

“How did you find Kira?” 

“She was in the marketplace of Laubwald Stadt with a group of older homeless kids. I felt her before I saw her. Her force sense smells of star flowers and she feels like a crisp mountain spring day. I couldn’t leave her there. You know, I never though about children until I looked into her eyes and hear her voice in my head.” 

“What did she say?” 

“Gods.” Leia sighed. “I’ve never even told Han. She said, ‘mumma’.” 

“Leia, there were rumors…”

“I never had a child, mumma. I did have an abortion but I never had a child.” Leia looked down into her lap and thought about what the medics had told her after she’d reached the base on Yavin, after Han insisted she be seen and promised to stay, promised to hold her and keep her safe. And he’d kept his word, holding her tight and letting her bury her face in his chest as she panicked during the compulsory but rough exam that followed. He'd rubbed her back and whispered to her gently, you’re safe, you’re safe, I’m here, I’m here; over and over. And when she’d cried in his arms after, when she mourned the idea of having a child she’d never considered wanting he’d held her so tight and promised her that her fertility had nothing to do with her worth, that she was more than an heir to Alderaan. “I’ll never have my own children.” She whispered. 

Breha held her tight and stayed silent, knowing Leia’s pain but having no idea how to respond to it. She knew that there were no words in Basic, Moccoan or even the ancient Druian to convey her understanding. 

Leia wiped her eyes. “Until they told me, I didn’t think I’d even want to have my own children. Now, though especially after Kira, it’s all I can think about. You know?” 

Breha nodded, she knew. “Maybe you should see a non-military medic, someone who specializes in women’s health.” 

Leia nodded. “I think at this point I’d have to be sedated to get through a pelvic.” 

“I don’t think that would be a problem.” 

She nodded. 

Breha kissed her temple gently, this was the pain that she was hoping her daughter would never have in common with her, and yet here they were knowing the same deep unquenchable sorrow. That overwhelming, empty feeling that never quite went away. “At least I had you, and you have Kira.” 

Leia nodded. “ And I do think she’s mine. Carlist is investigating, but I don’t want to know the outcome either way. Her genetics have been run, but I don’t have access to them.” 

“Where do you think she comes from?” 

“Both times I was captured, they took blood samples. I think that Palpatine knew all of this time that I’m force sensitive and I think that my genetics were used to try and create a Sith child. Kira didn't turn, just like I didn’t and they hid her in a reasonably rural Imperial town. I think something happened and her surrogate family was killed the homeless kids found her and took her with them, and then we found her and took her.” 

Breha nodded. 

“There’s no question in my mind that she’s mine. We’ve made an effort to make her look as if she’s ours to protect her from the Empire and we don't talk about her in any other way.” 

Breha took her hand and held it tight. “I am so proud of you and Han for taking her and raising her as if she were your own. It’s a huge sacrifice and it changes everything about how you wanted to live your life, but it’s worth it.” 

Leia nodded. “I think it was good change, Han a carpenter rather than a mercenary and me working back in sentient rights, rather than putting my life in danger.” 

Han let himself into the apartment with Kira bracketed to his side. “What’s wrong?” He spoke, looking so concerned. 

“Nothing.” Leia looked at him. “We’re fine Han.” 

“Kira said you were upset, that we needed to come home.” 

Leia sighed. “We were talking about after the Death Star, the med bay.” 

“Oh.” Han nodded knowing exactly what Kira had felt. “See bitsy? Mommy is fine.” 

She nodded. 

“Should I go?” Han looked at Breha and then at Leia. 

Leia shook her head. “No.” 

“Han?” Breha spoke appraising he and Kira. 

“Yes, mother of her highnessness?” Han joked nervously. 

“I’d like you to stay. We were talking about something that concerns you.” 

He nodded. 

“I think that Leia should see a real medic and see what they have to say. You know, someone who is specifically trained to deal  
with women’s health issues?” 

“It wouldn't easy for me.” Leia commented into her caff. 

“I’d be there.” Han spoke sitting with her. 

“We both would.” Breha soothed. 

“But what if they confirm it?” 

“And what if you’re mourning something that’s not really lost?” Han spoke rubbing her back. 

Leia wiped her eyes. 

“We could start trying immediately if that’s what you wanted.” Han spoke gently. 

She shook her head. “Kira needs more time with us first.” She spoke as Kira crawled into her lap. She could tell that she hadn’t clearminded her well enough and that she’d been crying fairly recently. “It’s alright loved.” She soothed rubbing her back gently. “I’m alright now.” 

Kira nodded. 

Breha and Han watched them both of them, still getting used to a more gentle Leia, well more gentle where Kira was concerned. Breha was able to see her Leia, the Leia that gave every palace guest a raggedly picked bouquet of wildflowers. The Leia that rescued little song birds that had fallen from their nests, one that lived in her room until she’d left for Coruscant at fifteen. Gael, she’d named him when he wouldn’t go back to the wild. She hadn’t seen her before, but her little girl was still there within the young woman Leia had become. Leia had indeed survived and the memorial statue would have to come down and with it Breha’s own unrealistic memories of her.


	20. Winter

“I think that went well.” Han spoke watching Leia line her eyes in the fresher mirror. 

“Uh huh.” She spoke carefully. “Thanks for sending my father to mediate.” 

“I did no such thing.” He spoke innocently as he brushed Kira’s hair. “I went to talk to your father about a parcel of land.” 

“Oh, and how did that go?” She spoke running her fingers through her hair. “Did you find a place you can build on?” 

“He said that we could use as much of that land as we wanted to, as long as I promised to build you a nice peaceful retreat.” 

Leia smiled at him. “Loved, do you want me to braid your hair?” She spoke looking at Kira. 

“No, mumma.” 

“You want to wear it down?” 

“Uh huh, pretty like mumma.” 

She ran her fingers through Kira’s hair gently. “Prettier than mumma.” 

Han smiled at them. “Are there traditions about girls wearing their hair down, like there is for women?” 

“There are, but they are not as stringent. If she wants to wear her hair down, she can wear her hair down. Winter and Tycho don’t care.” 

“Winter practically has a buzz cut.” 

“You should see Tycho.” Leia spoke wryly. 

“I still don’t see why it’s okay for them, but not for you.” 

“Han, Winter and Tycho are gay.” She spoke walking past him to get Kira dressed. 

“So? You’re bi, what’s the difference?” He shrugged assessing his beard. 

She stopped mid stride and turned on her heel. “How do you know about that?” 

He shrugged. “You must have told me at some point.” 

“I don’t remember telling you that.” 

“You are though, aren’t you?” 

She nodded. “I don’t know that it counts since I’m with you now.” 

“Sure it does, your sexuality doesn’t change just because of who you’re in a relationship with Lei. You should know that.” 

“I think that depends on who you ask.” 

“What, like those assholes that don’t believe that folks are actually bi?” Han shrugged. “Fuck ‘em.” He spoke walking out of  
the fresher. 

She smiled at him. “And it doesn’t bother you?” 

“No.” He spoke pulling on a dress shirt. “Why would it?” He spoke buttoning his shirt. 

“It would bother some men.” 

“I ain’t some men.” He smiled at her. “I’m me.” 

“You’re sure.” She spoke skeptically. 

He sighed. “Lei.” He walked over to her. “You really think it bothers me that you like women and men?” 

She shrugged. “It’s not something I disclose very often.” 

“Maybe you should.” He spoke running his fingers through her hair absently. “You know maybe if people like you, people who have status and social standing were more vocal about their sexuality, it would be more readily accepted. I’m sure that there are plenty of bisexual young Alderaani who could really use someone like you on their side.” 

Leia shook her head. “Just when I think I know you, I uncover another layer to your personality.” 

He smiled at her. “Guess I’m just full of surprises.” He turned to Kira. “Huh, bitsy.” 

Kira smiled at him and buried her face in Leia’s neck. 

“This shy phase she’s going through...” Leia started.

“It will pass.” Han spoke reassuringly. 

Winter handed Leia a glass of wine and sat down with her in the lounge of she and Tycho’s home. Leia watched Kira color contentedly using the caff table as a desk. She leaned forward and absently ran her fingers through Kira’s hair, in that instinctual way that mothers often just touch their children gently for no particular reason. 

“So.” Winter spoke, bringing her back to the conversation at hand. “Tell me all about Han.” 

Leia sighed. 

“He’s so handsome and rough around the edges. Gods, that Corellian drawl of his...”

Leia smiled and sipped her wine. 

“That, and seeing you with a man for something more than just sex is so odd. In fact Tycho and I were talking about that  
today, I don’t think either of us could remember you being in a steady long term relationship with a man. You fucked plenty of them but you rarely saw them more than that.” 

“Han is different.” 

“How so?” 

Leia shrugged. “I don’t know, it’s not about him being a man. It wouldn’t matter if he were male or female, there’s just something about him.” 

“When did you know?” 

“Immediately.” 

“So how did you know?” Winter spoke watching Leia with Kira. 

Leia smiled at her. “I watched him run headlong into a pod of bucket heads on the Death Star with just a blaster and a Wookiee with a life debt. It was probably one of the most attractive things I’ve ever seen.” 

Winter laughed. “That sounds like you.” 

Leia laughed. 

Winter raised an eyebrow at her. “So, did you guys make out, or anything, you know like right then?” 

“Not right at that moment. I mean we were on the Death Star.”

“After you were clear?” 

She shook her head. “We fought actually. He was still pretending to be a mercenary. He was ‘just in it for the money’.” Leia laughed mocking Han’s super-cool smuggler slouch. 

“Was he really?” 

She shook her head. “I figured that out pretty quickly after. We spent a week in hyperspace.” 

“And what happened during that week?” Winter poured herself a second glass of wine and offered a second to Leia. 

She waived her off. “I was pretty beat up Winter.” 

Winter nodded. 

“He um...” She cleared her throat. “Cleaned me up and taped my ribs. He didn’t give me that sympathetic face, you know the one.” 

Winter nodded solemnly. 

“He didn’t treat me like a monument. He treated me like he treats everyone.” She sipped her wine. 

“You let him tape your ribs?” 

She nodded. “He had his Wookiee friend sit nearby so that I’d feel safe and he didn’t even look at my tits.” 

Winter smiled. 

“Mumma?” Kira handed her a filmsy drawing. 

“Oh that’s pretty loved.” Leia examined it seriously. “I love your use of color and shading.” She spoke as if she were critiquing a painting in a gallery. “Very beautiful lines too.” 

Kira beamed. 

“Can I keep it?” 

“Huh, uh for Winter.” 

“Oh.” Leia spoke handing it to Winter. 

“It is lovely baby, I will keep it for always.” Winter stroked Kira’s hair gently. 

Kira beamed and went back to drawing. 

“So when did you decide that you were together?” Winter spoke when they were sure that Kira was back in her own world. 

“I kissed him the night after he returned to the base after the Battle of Yavin. He was supposed to leave, you know because he was this famous smuggler with a fast ship.” 

“He came back though.” 

Leia nodded. “He came back and he helped Luke destroy the Death Star. He could have left after that too, but he came back to the base.” 

“Why did he come back?” 

“He came back and helped Luke because he couldn’t stand to see us all die.” 

“Yeah, okay but why did he come back to the base?” 

Leia smiled and sipped her wine. “I ‘made an impression on him’.” 

Winter laughed. 

“He was worried about me because I didn’t have anybody. That aside from my father’s friends, I was among strangers and there was no one who I could talk to about Alderaan or about what happened to me on the Death Star.” She sighed. “He was afraid I was going to kill myself.” 

“Were you?” 

She nodded. “It took six months for me to pull out of that.” 

“And he stayed.” 

Leia nodded. “And he took care of me.”

Winter nodded. 

“He made sure I ate and made sure I slept. He made sure I talked and he hid all of the sharp objects on the Falcon. He learned how to deal with my night terrors. He made me feel human again. He made life bearable.” 

“So that first kiss.” 

Leia smiled. “That first kiss.” She reflected. 

Leia followed Han up the ladder to the top hatch of the Falcon. She watched him climb onto the hull and spread out a couple of surplus sleeping palettes. 

“What are we doing up here?” She asked sitting down with him. 

“Watchin’ your people celebrate.” He spoke pouring her a mug of sparkling wine. “Figured you weren’t ready for all that chaos and noise.” 

She nodded. 

“How are you doing?” He slipped his arm around her. 

“The adrenaline is starting wear off.” 

“Hurting?” 

She nodded. 

“Hmm.” He mumbled tucking her in close to his side. “Just rest.” 

She nodded. “Han?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Why did you come back?” 

“Well, ‘cause you guys needed help, couldn’t just let ya die just ‘cause I got things to do.” He spoke rubbing her upper arm absently. 

“Why did you come back to the base?” 

“Thought I’d stay for a while. You need stuff, I’m good at getting stuff.” 

Leia sat back and smiled at him. 

“You need someone you can trust...”

She laughed. “And you think that’s you?” 

“I think that’s me more than it’s anyone else.” 

“Hmm.” She cupped his face running her palm along the angle of his jaw. 

He held her eyes and let his soften as they searched hers. Her eyes were so dark, bottomless like deep cups of hot caff or whiskey or chocolate. Gods, he wanted to drown in them, get lost in them. He let her pull him down to her, let her have control. 

“What do you think hotshot?” She spoke thickly. “You think you can save me from myself?” 

“I’ll keep your monsters away.” He spoke and they were so close now that she could feel his breath warm and sweet like sparkling wine against her lips. 

“I’m not going to bed with you.” She spoke kissing him as if she were. 

Winter smoldered in response to Leia’s story. “Gods.” 

Leia blushed. 

“So, obviously you fucked him that night.” 

Leia shook her head. “Not after what I went through on the Death Star. It took a long time for me to even think about that. Gods, I wanted him but every time I’d even think about it I’d flash back to being on the Death Star and the Stormtroopers that Tarkin sent to my cell...” She shook her head. “I didn’t want those memories to cross. You know? I was afraid that he’d be... well, we’d be... you know...”

“Fucking?” 

She nodded. “And my mind would wander and I’d... I wanted to make sure that when I finally went to bed with Han, I was going to bed with Han, not with Han and my trauma.” 

“So when did you finally fuck him?” 

Leia blushed. “It took a couple of years of talking and making out and learning to trust myself and my mind.” 

“That’s a long time.” 

Leia sighed. “He had his own issues, his wife was killed several years ago and he hadn’t been with anyone since.”

“Gods.” 

“He just took a walk after Sulen and Fane were killed and it took him this long to come back.” 

“Who was Fane?” 

“His daughter, she was Kira’s age.” 

“That’s horrible.” 

“So we were both trying to deal with this enormous amount of trauma without destroying each other or ourselves with it.” 

Winter nodded. “So, what changed?” 

“We found Kira while we were on R&R and everything kind of fell into place.” 

Winter watched Kira. “Do you think that it would have have if you hadn’t found her?” 

Leia nodded. “I think it would have taken longer, but it would have happened.” 

“Are you going to marry him?” 

Leia nodded. “We’re going to elope.” 

“That is a great idea.” 

Leia laughed. “With the way things have been going with mum, we decided that was the best way to handle it.” She picked at a bandage on her thumb. 

“Leia your nails are horrible, are you chewing them again?” 

She nodded looking at her shredded cuticles. 

Winter sighed. “I planned for this.” 

“I went from running a rebellion to raising a child to finding out that you and our parents are living. Gods, and being here. That statue out there... ” 

“And I’ve been working as a smuggler on the outer rim, my cuticles are intact.” 

“Gods.” 

Winter shrugged sitting back down with her with a little bag. 

Leia smiled at her. 

“Put your wine down and give me your hands.” 

She sighed. “I hate this, this always hurts.” 

“So, how’s the sex.” 

Leia bit her lip and smiled. 

“Talk.” 

“I need more wine.” She poured herself another glass. 

“That bad?” 

“That good.” She laughed. 

“Details.” 

“I’m not telling you everything.” 

“Well no, but come on tell me something.” 

Leia cleared her throat. “Winter.” She spoke watching her clean up her nails. “I came.” 

“Uh huh?” 

“No, you don’t understand.” 

Winter looked at her. “You’d never…”

She shook her head. “Huh uh, never with a man.” 

“Really?” 

“Really.” Leia looked deeply into her eyes. “If I had known that Han could do that, I’d have fucked him a long time ago. Oh my gods Winter. I mean we’d…Han and I. We’d made out before and it got pretty serious and I let him, you know…” 

“Eat you out?” 

“No!” 

“Finger you?” 

She nodded. 

“And you didn’t come?” 

“I did but I was never quite sure if that was what it was supposed to feel like because no man had ever made me feel anything close to that and it’s a different headspace for me than being with a woman and it took me a while to relax enough to come.” 

“Huh.” 

“Han gave me that time to adjust. He made sure that I was still there with him. Han he didn’t finish until he was sure that I’d had an orgasm and I had so many. It was… if I die tomorrow…”

Winter laughed. “And now you finally understand.”

“Oh my gods, I just want to live in bed with him.” 

“Did he eat you out?” 

She nodded and laughed. “He’s so, so, so good.” 

Winter smiled at her. “Welcome to womanhood.” 

Leia laughed. “Very funny.”


	21. The Visitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter jumps ahead a few months. Things were getting tedious so I made an executive decision.

“Leia?” Han spoke carrying Kira on his shoulders as he let himself into the home he’d built her deep in the Endorian forest where Leia felt the most at home. He smiled at the fire built in the fireplace knowing that she must be nearby. “Is your mumma here?” Han spoke reaching up to steady Kira on his shoulders as he set his tool belt down. 

“Yep.” Kira spoke leaning forward on his head. 

Han nodded, he’d have shrugged had he not had Kira on his shoulders. “You hungry, bitsy?” 

“Uh huh.” 

Leia checked her chrono as she sat on the edge of the bathing tub waiting. “Come on, come on.” She willed time to move faster now that Han and Kira were home. 

“Leia?” Han called again. 

“Shit.” She spoke fumbling to wrap the packaging in sani paper and toss it in the fresher trash. “I’ll be right out.” She called hearing him try the door. 

“Lei?” He tried the door again. “You alright?” 

“I’m fine.” 

“You still sick princess?” 

“It comes and goes…” She trailed off staring at the positive results. 

“Uh, can I come in?” 

“Shit.” Leia breathed as she snapped the cap on the used end and dropped the telltale plastic shape into her pocket as she opened the door. “Hi.” 

“Hi.” He leaned into kiss her but caught her cheek as she turned her head to the side. “Hey, what was that?” 

“I need to brush my teeth Han, and what if I’m contagious?” 

“Have you ever seen me sick?” He implored. 

“Yes, yes I have.” 

“Pretty rare, wouldn’t you say?” 

She shrugged. “I—I suppose.”

“Corellians have excellent immune systems.” He spoke resting his hands on her hips. 

“Han, I’ve been throwing up, I hardly think you want to…” 

“Don’t care.” He spoke leaning in again. 

Leia ducked him and turned her body out of his grip. 

“You’re no fun.” He spoke slipping up behind her as she brushed her teeth.  
She shot him an exasperated look in the mirror and continued to brush her teeth as he kissed her neck, his hands traveling over her body. 

“Hey, what's this?” He spoke feeling the long plastic shape in her pocket. 

Leia blanched in the mirror, her eyes wide. “Han…” She spoke around her tooth brush as he examined the long plastic shape he’d taken out of her pocket. 

“Huh, this reminds me of something.” He spoke turning the object over in his hands. 

Leia rinsed her mouth out. “I don’t know how you manage to ruin every good surprise I come up with, but you do.” She turned to face him and leaned against the counter. 

He raised his eyebrows at her. “Lei, this is a pregnancy test.” 

She smiled at him. “I was going to try and surprise you hotshot.” She folded her arms across her chest. “But you just couldn’t wait, could you?” 

“Is this… are you?” 

“That’s right, you ruined the surprise you, you… nerfherder.” 

Han laughed rubbing the back of his neck. “You’re pregnant?” 

Leia nodded. 

“Well… I mean, it’s a surprise, alright.” He spoke slipping his arms around her. 

She smiled at him and slipped her arms around his neck stretching to kiss his chin. “I thought you might like it.” 

Breha had watched Leia push her dinner around her plate all evening, choosing instead to sip carbonated water, busy herself with making sure Kira’s food was cut into precise pieces and pretending that everything was fine. She’d also observed Han’s hand and how it stayed planted in the small of Leia’s back for almost the entire evening. 

“Mumma.” Kira looked at her after dinner after they had adjourned to the lounge for after dinner caff. 

“Yes loved?” 

“Someone here to visit.” 

Leia smiled and smoothed her hair gently, Kira had been taking about a visitor for the last couple of weeks and it wasn’t until after the positive pregnancy test that afternoon, that Leia had realized that she was feeling the force signature of the life taking shape deep with her her body. “Hush loved.” She spoke gently. 

“But mumma, someone here to visit.” 

“Where?” Breha asked simply. 

Leia looked at her her mother knowing exactly where and wondering if Kira did as well. They watched Kira move from Han’s lap to Leia’s.  
“Well, go on.” Breha urged. “Where is this visitor you are so insistent is here?” 

“Right here.” Kira spoke, still struggling not to pronounce her Rs as Ws and placed her hand against Leia’s stomach. “Someone here to visit.” 

Han and Bail stopped their conversation and looked at Kira and Leia. 

“Who there mumma?” 

Leia shot Han a helpless look. 

“You’re pregnant.” Breha stammered. “Oh!” She pulled her into her arms. “This is so wonderful.” 

“Congratulations.” Bail spoke clapping Han’s shoulder. 

“Now.” Han spoke firmly. “It’s early yet, you know and we’re still real cautious at this phase.” He looked at Leia taking her hand in both of his. “We hadn’t planned to tell anyone just yet.” He looked at Kira. 

“Sorry.” She spoke quietly. “Sorry daddy.” 

Breha and Bail knew more than anyone else in the room about wanting to wait just to be sure the pregnancy took before telling anyone. They both nodded sympathetically and Breha smoothed Leia’s hair in that same gentle way that Leia smoothed Kira’s. 

Leia looked at her mother and smiled tightly. 

“It’s alright sweetheart.” Han soothed Kira gently, picking up on her concern. “Isn’t it Lei?” 

“You didn’t do anything wrong loved.” Leia spoke gently. “You just wanted to know who was here.” 

Kira nodded. “But who mumma?” 

“That’s your little brother or sister.” Breha spoke up without thinking. 

“They come to visit?” 

“Not for a long time yet, but you can feel them can’t you baby?” Leia spoke gently smoothing her hair. 

“Uh huh, can you mumma?” 

Leia nodded pressing her hand to her stomach. “Pretty neat huh?” 

Kira nodded pressing her hand next to Leia’s. “I in there?” 

Leia looked at Han. 

Han smiled and hooked his hands under Kira’s arms. “C’mere bitsy.” He spoke sitting her on his lap. 

She looked up at him.  
“It’s getting close to your bedtime Princess and you’ve got to help me think of a story.” 

She nodded she took their nightly improvisational stories very seriously. 

“Now.” He got up. “Let’s go put on our jams and think of a good story, yeah bitsy?” He spoke slinging his shoulder roughly. “Let’s go you little hooligan.” She squealed and laughed with delight at his dad-acrobatics. 

“Say goodnight to your lita and your papa.” 

“Buenas noches lita y papa, te amo.” 

“Te amo, mija.” They both spoke. 

“And your mumma.” He swung her down to Leia lap once again. 

“Night mumma, love you.” 

“Night loved.” Leia spoke gently holding her close to her chest. “I’ll be in later to check on you.” She kissed her forehead. “I love you.” 

She nodded. “Mumma?”

“Yes?” 

“I say night?” 

Leia looked at her quizzically. “What?” 

Kira put her hand back against Leia’s stomach. “Night in there, te amo.” 

Leia looked at Han. 

He cleared his throat. “Come on bitsy.” He spoke gently picking her up. “Let’s go on our adventure.” 

“Okay daddy.” 

Leia sighed. “I wish Master Ferus were still alive. I just don’t know what to do with her.” 

“Train her.” Bail spoke simply. 

“She won’t let me and I don’t want to push her.” 

“Why won’t she?” 

Leia shook her head. “Vader.” 

Breha rubbed her back gently. “Give her time. 

Leia nodded. “This one is strong too.” 

“Obviously.” Bail nodded. 

“You’re going to have your hands full if you don’t figure something out.” 

She nodded. “I hope that the force isn’t as difficult for her to deal with as it is for me.” 

“She’s more attuned to it than you were.” Breha spoke. “You and the force were always in some sort of conflict. You fought it so hard, for her it seems to be more apart of her. It seems more symbiotic.” 

Leia nodded, she’d noticed. It reminded her of how Luke worked in the force, peaceful and comforting. “Maybe I can learn something from her.” 

“Have you decided how you’re going to explain to her where she came from?” 

Leia shook her head. “I don’t even know where to start.” 

“What was the outcome of Carlist’s raid on the clone base?” 

“They destroyed the base and left nothing behind.” 

“Did they find anything?” 

“I didn’t ask.” She spoke quietly. “I don’t want to know. They took enough from me with my knowledge, I’d rather not know what they took from me without my knowledge.” She picked at her thumb. 

Breha took her hand gently laying it across her palm moving slowly and carefully. “Mija.” She spoke quietly. “You’re so hard on your hands.” 

Leia nodded. 

“These are the hands you comfort Kira with you have to be more careful with them.” 

“She does it too.” 

Breha nodded. “It might help her if you worked on that together.” 

Leia nodded. 

“If she watches her mumma stop doing it, she will too.” 

Leia nodded. “Han knows.” 

“Han knows what?” 

“He’s seen the report, Carlist sent it to him on accident. He was so angry, neither of us wanted to know, and now he feels like he’s keeping a secret from me.” 

“Let him tell you.” 

Leia sighed. “I can’t.” 

“Why not?” 

“What if, what if she’s mine?” 

“There’s no question in my mind that she’s yours. And I think you know that as well.” 

Leia sighed. 

“Daddy.” Kira spoke as Han tucked her into her big girl bed, the one he’d built for her, the one that was extra long so that he could fit too. 

“Bitsy.” He spoke with mock seriousness. 

She smiled. “I in there?” 

He sighed sitting on her bed. “That’s a long story bitsy.” 

“Wanna know.” She looked up at him with Leia’s eyes. “Please, daddy?” 

He sighed. “You mama is going to kill me.” 

She furrowed her eyebrows at him, looking just like her mother. 

He held up his hands in surrender. “Alright, alright.” 

She shot him a self satisfied look and curled up with her stuffed Wookiee and Han hoped she’d fall asleep quickly. 

Han frowned at her trying to figure out how to answer her question. The simple answer was ‘no’, but ‘no’ wouldn’t suffice. It was so much more complicated than just ‘no’. Han sighed, he knew the answer he just had no idea how to frame it for an inquisitive almost three year old. He knew how old she was, she now had an exact birthdate, birthdate wasn’t the exact phrasing he was looking for. 

“Daddy.” 

He sighed. “Give me a second Bits, I’m thinking.” 

She sighed and crossed her arms across her chest. 

He cleared his throat. “No, Bitsy, you weren’t in there. You came to us a different way because your mama couldn’t have you in there, but you know, you were wanted so much that you found us another way.” 

She shrugged. “Okay.” 

“But we love you very much.” 

She nodded. 

“You know, it doesn’t matter how you got here, you’re here. Yeah?” 

She nodded. 

“And you’re my little princess?” 

She nodded. 

“And I’m your daddy and your mumma is your mumma?” 

She nodded. 

“And your papa and your lita and tia Winter and tia Tycho love you very, very much.” 

She nodded. 

“Okay?” 

“Okay daddy.” 

“Good, now want to hear a story?” 

She nodded. 

Han sighed and walked back into the lounge. “Where’s mom and dad?” 

Leia smiled at him. “They went home Han.” 

“Guess it took a while for her to go to sleep.” He scratched the back of his neck nervously. “She was pretty wound up.” 

“Did she finally stop asking?” 

“No.” 

Leia narrowed her eyes at him. 

“So, I told her the truth.” 

“You did what?!” Leia stood almost shrieking. 

“Now, take it easy. I didn’t say much I just told her that it didn’t matter you know? That we love her very much and that her whole family loves her and that’s what mattered.” He spoke quickly as Leia set her jaw. “You know that we wanted her so much that she found another way to us.” 

Leia sighed. “Found another way?” 

“Lei, she’s three she doesn’t understand anything more complex than that.” 

“We should have told her together.” 

“You’d have over thought it.” He cupped her shoulders gently. “It would have confused her and...” 

“Over thought it? Confused her?” She shrugged his hands off of her shoulders. “Fuck you.” 

“Now, wait a minute. She’ll ask again when she’s older and you can give her a more complex answer.” 

“Han, we should have told her together.” Leia spoke crossing her arms across her chest and looking out the back doors into the forest. 

“Leia.” He stepped up behind her slipping his arms around her and pressing his hand gently against her stomach. 

“We should have waited until she was older to do this.” She sighed. “Old enough to give her a good explanation, to reassure her that she’s no different than this child.” 

“She’s not.” 

“But she’ll think she is.” 

“Leia.” He lowered his voice. “I know what was in Carlist’s report and...”

“Han, I told you I didn’t want to know.” 

“You need to know.” He spoke still holding her, bracing her against her own worst fears. 

She sighed. “Han, it doesn’t matter to me.” 

“No, but it obviously matters to you for her.” 

Leia stiffened his arms, he was right and she hated it. 

“Lei, she’s yours. The only difference between Kira and this one is that I’m not technically Kira’s father, but she never needs to know that.” 

Leia turned in his arms and buried her face in his chest. 

“I know this brings up a lot for you, sweetheart but you’d feel guilty for having this baby the rest of your life if you didn’t know for sure.” He rubbed her back gently. 

She sighed. 

“You had to know.” 

She nodded. 

“Everyone knows, she looks just like you.” 

“Is—is she a clone?” 

“No, guess you can’t clone Jedi or somethin’.” Han shrugged. “I don’t know Lei, but she’s not a clone.” 

“And who—who was um...” Leia choked back the bile that rose in her throat as she thought about about the possibilities of who could have provided the other half of Kira’s genetics.

Han shrugged kissing the top of her head. “Some number.” 

“Not—not Vader?” 

“Gods Leia.” His voice shook when he spoke. It wrecked him to think that she’d been carrying that scenario around in her mind all this time. “No and not Tarkin neither, sweetheart.” 

She nodded. 

“You want the report?” 

She shook her head. 

“I deleted my copy, didn’t want it. I could have Carlist...”

“No.” 

“Alright, princess?” 

“Not really.” 

“You want to go watch her sleep?” He spoke running his fingers through her hair. 

Leia nodded. 

“Go, I’ll take care of the dishes.” He spoke with that gentleness to his voice that always almost brought her to tears. 

“But you cooked.” She looked up at him. 

“Don’t matter to me Lei, go curl up with our girl.” The gentleness stayed in his voice as he looked into her eyes, trying to tell her how much she meant to him, they meant to him. “Go curl up with our girl.” He brushed her hair behind her ear with so much tenderness that she knew.


	22. Ions

Han sat on the sofa with his long legs propped casually across the cushions swirling Corellian whiskey around in his glass one word haunting his thoughts. 

Vader. 

All this time Leia had been worried about Vader being Kira’s father. He couldn’t imagine what could possess her to think such a thing. He knew that she’d seen Vader’s cape in Kira’s mind, but he didn’t understand how she could get from that image to thinking that someone had combined genetic material from she and Darth Vader to make such a sweet, gentle little child like Kira. 

Leia walked into the kitchen and made a cup of tea without being noticed. She walked into the lounge and watched Han contemplate his glass of whiskey. 

“Han?” 

He looked up as if her presence had started him. 

“Wow, where were you just now?” 

“Vader?” He looked at the potent brown liquid in his glass as it swirled around the bottom third of the vessel. 

Leia sighed sitting down on his lap. “What’s the worst possible scenario you could think of when it comes to a Jedi child manufactured by the Empire, Han?” 

He nodded. “But still, why use you if they could have just used Vader and some other female prisoner.” He’d regretted referencing Leia as a prisoner as soon as he’d said it.

She looked at him and opened her mouth to speak and he saw that familiar shift in her eyes. 

“Shit, sorry. That’s not what I meant.” 

She nodded. “I’m okay.” 

“You’re sure?” 

“You’re right, I guess I’d never thought of it that way.” 

“I mean, Vader is a Jedi right?” 

She nodded. “A Sith, but yeah.” 

“Then why would they need you?” 

She sipped her tea, the spice of the ginger burning her tongue. She made a sour face and got up. 

“Where’re you goin’ princess?” 

“I’m still trying to figure out the tea to anathan nectar ratio with this.” She spoke walking into the kitchen. 

“It smells horrible.” 

“You should taste it.” She spoke walking back in. 

“But it helps with the nausea?” 

“Yes.” She spoke sitting down on his lap once again. 

“Okay princess?” He asked patting her knee gently. 

She nodded trying her tea again, it was awful but it was better than it had been. 

Han pressed his hand against her stomach. “So you and Kira can feel it?” 

She nodded. 

“What does it feel like?” 

“Did you study any science at the Academy?” 

He nodded. 

“Remember ions and how they spin and vibrate?” 

“Sure.” 

“That’s what it makes me think of.” 

“Huh.” 

“But does it feel like a person?” 

“It’s a blip in the force a vibration so sort of.” 

He nodded. 

“Do you think we should have waited?” She looked at his hand. 

“Waited for what?” 

“Until I was older?” 

Han shrugged. “Neither of us are getting any younger.” 

“True, but I’m only 22.” 

“And I’m only 32.” 

Leia looked at him, she always forgot how much older he was. She nodded. “But do you think people will talk?” 

“People will always talk Lei, we haven’t gotten married, they’ll talk about that.” 

She nodded placing her hand over his. It was odd, she was used to him always having his hands on her, but usually at the small of her back or since her hair cut, running his fingers through her hair. It still felt odd to her to feel his hand against her stomach for such an extended period of time, in a non sexual way. 

“There will always be something for people to talk about Leia, we’re ten years apart, we’re not married, you used to be a princess and I used to be a smuggler and a scoundrel.” 

“You’re still a scoundrel.” She spoke feeling his whiskers against her neck, the contrast of soft lips and coarse beard. 

He chuckled. 

“Does the age difference bother you?” 

“Less and less the older you get.” 

She furrowed her brows at him. “What do you mean?” 

“Well.” He spoke contemplatively. “I’m not sure I’d have slept with you when you were nineteen. 

“You wanted to.” 

He smiled at her. “I did, until I found out how young you were.” 

She shook her head. 

He shrugged. “I don’t know Lei, I thought the right thing was to wait a while, at least until you were twenty.” 

“Who knew Han Solo was cautious.” Leia deadpanned. 

“Hey, would you want an almost thirty year old man fooling around with our daughter when she’s nineteen?” 

Leia cringed. “Well, when you say it like that...”

“Kind of makes you understand your mother’s reaction a little better, doesn’t it?” 

She nodded. 

“So you can understand how I might’ve felt like a pervert.” 

She smiled at him. “I was a grown woman, Han.” 

“Barely.” 

“Enough of one.” 

“Eh, sort of, but if your father had been around, he’d have cut off my balls.” 

Leia laughed. “He would have, had he caught you. I was pretty good at sneaking lovers in and out of the palace.” 

“Sure, boys that were your age, I’m taking about me and I was a grown man, even back then.” 

“They weren’t all boys, Han.” 

“Yeah, yeah I know, I’m not talking about girls. I’m a grown man, they’d have sent you away if they’d’ve caught me in your royal bed.” 

“Boarding school?” 

He nodded. 

“I went to an all girls boarding school, Han.” 

He raised an eyebrow at her. “Bet you enjoyed that.” 

She bit her bottom lip and smiled at him. “I enjoyed it enough to get myself into quite a bit of trouble. I was asked to leave.” 

“The Princess, asked to leave?” 

“For participating in activities unbecoming of a princess.” 

“And those activities were?” 

She cleared her throat. “Being caught in the act with other girls on more than on occasion.” 

“So, what did the folks do?” 

“Sent me to University early.” 

“I’d bet that’s not what your headmistress had in mind.” 

Leia smiled at him. 

“You used to get into get into all sorts of trouble didn’t you?” 

She bit her lip and nodded. “I used to do a lot of things.”

“Any regrets?” 

“No.” 

“But you’d tell me?” He looked at her. 

She nodded. 

“Listen, people are going to talk no matter what. You can’t live your life worried about what people will say.” 

Leia leaned against him, resting her head against his shoulder and sighed heavily. 

“Tired, princess?” 

She nodded. “I’m always tired now.” 

He kissed her forehead. “You need me to pick up some slack with Kira?” 

She nodded. “I was thinking about daycare, or rotating family members.” 

“Your folks would love to watch her, they’ve said so.” 

Leia nodded. “They’re just as busy as we are.” 

He shrugged. “They offered.” 

“I guess we could try it.” She spoke through a yawn. 

“Let’s go to bed sweetheart.” 

She nodded getting to her feet. 

Leia sat up in bed listening to Han sleep next to her. It was such an oddly still night and she could hear the noises of the forest around her blending with Han’s deep breathing. She felt unsettled after the conversation she’d had with Han about Kira’s parentage and Vader. She’d felt that there was some sort of connection between herself and the Sith Lord. She’d honestly thought that it was Kira. She knew Kira was hers, but she’d just assumed that Kira was Vader’s as well, as if she were some sort of failed vanity project. Knowing now that Kira was in fact her biological child but not Vader made her wonder just what the connection was, in fact more than anything it made her worry. She needed to talk to her father, he would know, he’d been around since before Vader’s fall, he could tell her, if he chose to. 

She felt Han slowly drift from sound asleep to awake as if he could sense her distress and it made her wonder if Luke had been onto something when he’d claimed that Han was force sensitive. She’d pay to see that, Jedi Han Solo. She smiled a little at the idea of Han in Jedi robes, wielding a lightsaber. 

“Mmm.” He spoke reaching out and laying his arm across her waist. 

She smiled reaching over and running her fingers through his hair. 

“S‘matter sweetheart?” He spoke looking at her through sleepy eyes. 

She shook her head. 

“Mmm, c’mere.” He mumbled pulling her down into his arms. 

She smiled letting him fold her gently against his chest. 

“S’alright princess.” He kissed the top of her head. “I got you.”


	23. Limbo

Han watched Leia sleep, something had woken him before dawn. He thought he’d heard her cry out but he couldn’t be sure. Her face was contorted in discomfort but he didn’t want to want to wake her, in case he’d been mistaken. So, instead he just watched her sleep waiting for her either wake or cry out again. He knew that after the comments she’d made about Vader and the time she’d spent talking about him, she was likely to have one of her night terrors. Then it occurred to him, maybe it was Kira that had cried out and maybe Leia was reacting to her distress. He got up carefully and utilized his Imperial stealth training to creep down the hallway, knowing that both Leia and Kira were light sleepers. 

He watched Kira sleep, she was peaceful and her facial expressions were slack and untroubled. He watched her for awhile curled up on her side with her stuffed Wookiee held tight to her chest and her thumb in her mouth. Her thumb sucking drove Leia crazy, but she was still a baby and Han thought it was adorable. She’d lose the habit as she got older, but for now he was fine with it. He knew it made her feel safe and secure and at this point, that was all that mattered to him. 

He walked downstairs unable to sleep with this feeling, this feeling that something was happening. His hackles were up, he kept feeling ice water running down his spine. Something was wrong, very wrong he could feel it and it felt as real as the bantha leather sofa he was leaning against. 

Leia walked downstairs and saw him standing in the dark staring out the back doors. “Han?” She asked, her voice low and full of sleep. 

He watched her close the distance and felt some comfort when she ran her hand down the middle of his back, warmth thawing the icy feeling in his spine. He wanted to tell her to go back to sleep, but he couldn’t. He wanted to tell her that everything was fine, but he couldn’t. Instead he slipped his arm around her and tucked her in close against his side. 

“Han?” She asked quietly, as if her voice, their voice would make whatever it was true. She pressed her hand against his chest feeling the unusual quickness of his heartbeat. She untangled herself from his arm wanting to see his eyes. She moved to lean against the sofa and instantly felt his hands at her waist; protective, and nervous. “Han, look at me.” 

He looked at her, his hair falling into his face. 

“You feel it?” She spoke tracing his bearded jaw, the coarse hair tickling her palm like soft steel wool. His eyes flicked over her and out the back door and back to her, nervous and uncertain. 

He nodded. 

“It’s not here.” She spoke quietly. “It’s farther off.” She slipped her arms around his neck. 

“I heard you cry out.” 

She shook her head. “I heard it too, it wasn’t me.” 

“It wasn’t Kira.” 

She shook her head. “I already checked.” 

“Me too.” 

“Luke?” 

Han watched her close her eyes, watched her face slack, felt her—felt her reach out across the galaxy, reaching for the farm boy, felt her touch his consciousness. ‘Luke.’ 

‘Red Two this is Red Five, we need to move those transports. We’re taking heavy fire out here. Wedge we gotta get moving. I don’t know if I can hold them off much longer... I...’ Han could hear Luke shouting and suddenly he heard him feel Leia. 

‘Luke.’ 

‘The base has been compromised, we’re moving out but we’ve got a lot of heat. I’m alright. I’ll comm you when we’re all safe. I’m sure you’ll get a report from High Command.’ 

And then Han felt him break the connection and he watched her eyes grow wide and wet with tears. 

“The base...” She started, her voice strained. 

Han pulled her close. “It’s alright.” He felt her try to reach for Luke again and just held her tighter knowing Luke was blocking her so he could focus. “Lei, stop. Let him focus.” He soothed. “Lei...” He started and felt like he’d run into a black glacier. He felt Leia tense and he could swear all of the oxygen had left the room. He grabbed her shoulders. “Leia.” He he shook her. “Leia.” 

He was there Vader was there, she could feel him but he couldn’t feel her. She heard Han’s voice somewhere far off and focused on it trying to bring herself back. ‘Leia, breathe.’ 

Han watched her, her skin had grown ashen and he could feel her heart pounding in her chest as her body fought her. He counted, ‘six, seven, eight...’ He shook her hard. “Breathe now Leia. Breathe or you’ll die!” 

“Mumma!” Kira screamed. 

Leia gasped breaking the connection, finally coming back to her body. She tried to run for Kira but her body was weak from the lack of oxygen. Han steadied her. 

“Breathe.” He set her down on the sofa and went for Kira. 

Leia stared out the back door, she could feel the humming presence deep within her, she could feel it panic as she tried to catch her breath. ‘It’s alright.’ She pressed her hand to her stomach. She pushed herself up and crossed the room to the stairs, her body was still so shaky so tingly and electric as she make her way to Kira’s room. 

She watched Han, crouched down next to Kira’s bed, speaking softly and rubbing her back gently trying to calm her. He wouldn’t be able to, she’d felt her panic, felt her feel Vader and panic as if he’d been in the room with her. 

“It’s alright loved.” Leia spoke gently moving to pick her up and hold her tight, to protect her against her fears and her visions. 

“Leia...” Han spoke cautiously. 

“M’fine.” She spoke, but her voice betrayed her as she lifted Kira out of bed and tucked her close to her chest. Leia felt her panic, still fresh as she buried her face wet with recent tears against her neck. “It’s alright.” She soothed sitting down on her toddler bed and making room for Han. “We’re all alright.” She looked at Han. ‘Sit.’ She mouthed. 

“Yeah bitsy.” Han spoke sitting down with them and folding them both into his arms holding them against his chest. “Everything is alright.” 

“Mumma.” Kira sobbed. 

“He’s not here and he can’t feel us.” Leia spoke gently. “It’s my fault, I was trying to reach your uncle Luke and... and he was near...” She sighed. “I’ll be more careful.” She pressed her lips to Kira’s temple. “I promise.” 

“Uncle Luke come here?” 

“I don’t know baby, he might.” She stroked her hair gently. 

“You like your uncle Luke don’t you bitsy?” Han spoke rubbing her back. 

She nodded. 

“When things calm down I’ll talk to your uncle Luke and tell him that Princess Bitsy wants to see him.” 

“You alright?” Han spoke after Kira had finally fallen asleep. 

Leia nodded and he watched her slip out of her kimono, her body awash in the silvery blue light of early morning. 

“You sure?” He spoke cupping her shoulders, the warmth of her skin reassuring to him. 

“M’alright Han.” She she spoke pressing her hand against his chest as she tried to reassure him, but her voice shook. 

He nodded holding her eyes. 

She searched his eyes. “Han?” She spoke slipping her arms around his neck, pressing her body against his pulling him down to her, trying to get a closer look, trying to resist the urge to look into his mind. ‘He’d feel you.’ She ran her fingers through the hair at the base of his skull. “Are you alright?” 

He just looked into her eyes, gods he could feel her. ‘What the hell’s goin’ on with me?’ 

“Han?” She kissed his chin. 

“M’okay sweetheart.” He spoke, but his voice didn’t sound right. 

She kissed him needing him, needing the distraction and she sensed that he needed it too. He was a little off and she could tell by how slow he was to respond, but soon she felt his hands slid down her arms. She drew her hands across his jaw and down his neck dragging her finger tips down his chest. 

He slipped his arms around her directing her toward their bed. She ran her hand down his midline over the muscles of his stomach, she remembered how lean he’d been when he was Captain Solo, when she could tell he’d lived on nutrition bars and whiskey to save credits and make sure that Chewie had plenty to eat. He was still just as strong as he’d ever been, probably even more so, but he’d lost some of his ranginess with regular meals and steady work. She liked the way he felt now, when she grabbed his hips she couldn’t feel his points and she knew he was taking care of himself instead of everyone else. 

She moved to their bed and he followed keeping his weight off of her, staying to the side of her. He kissed her gently propping himself up on his elbow and letting his hand drift. She watched his face as his hand lingered just below her navel where their visitor floated, just a hum a vibration a mass of cells that were only just beginning to take shape. She watched his face as he held her hand there pressing gently, his eyebrows furrowed with the question that neither of them wanted to ask. 

“Lei?” He spoke feeling her hand soft against the back of his. “Do you think it will take?” 

She cleared her throat looking at the ceiling above their bed, the rising sun quickly turning it different shades of golds and purples. It was so, so early and her doctor had warned her that just because she could get pregnant, didn’t mean she could carry. That it was best to wait, that the less invasive the procedure the faster her recovery time. ‘Let’s just see Leia, if we don’t have to go in, that’s better for you.’ She’d assured her as she’d removed her IUD. Leia had agreed but she knew that her risk of miscarriage was high and Han understood that as well. 

“I wish Kira hadn’t felt it.” Leia spoke quietly. “And now my parents know... what if we have to go back and tell everyone...”

“Your mother had plenty of miscarriages before your father came home with you.” Han spoke gently. “They’ll understand.” 

Leia nodded. “And what will we tell Kira?” 

“That it just wasn’t ready.” He reached up and stroked her cheek. “She won’t understand much more than that.” 

Leia nodded. 

“I know you like to be prepared Lei, but what if we never have to have that conversation? What if it takes and the little bandit grows and thrives and it becomes safe to name it?” 

She smiled at him. “I’m afraid to think about that this early.” 

He sighed moving onto his side “M’just saying it’ll be okay, you know? Either way.” He pulled her to him. “Let’s get some rest, tomorrow’s going to be a busy day.”


	24. Distractions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s some smut in here.

Han let himself back into their sleeping quarters after taking Kira to stay with Bail and Breha until they received word from the rebellion, or at least Luke. Leia moved onto her side and propped her chin up on her palm, watching him as he undressed. 

“Where’re you going hotshot?” She asked as he ducked into the ensuite. 

“I’ll be right back.” He answered through the open door as he searched for the little box that held her wedding set in the cabinets that were too high for her to reach. Her pregnancy made him want to solidify their relationship, even if they didn’t get married, he wanted her to at least wear his ring. He’d planned the whole thing in the speeder on the way back from the palace, he’d wake her up with it. She’d been asleep when he’d left and he had hoped she’d still be sleeping when he returned. 

“Did she do okay?” 

“Yeah, she did fine.” He spoke palming the box and slipping off his shorts as he got back into bed with her. 

She nodded watching him sit up in bed. “Han, when did you shave?” 

He smiled at her. “This morning. Scared the hell out of bitsy.” 

Leia laughed. “Is she okay now?” 

“She’s fine sweetheart.” 

She nodded. 

“I was hoping you’d still be asleep when I got back.” 

“Just because we know I’m pregnant, doesn’t mean that the morning sickness just magically stops.” 

He nodded. “How is the bandit this morning?” 

“Sleeping, I think. Calm.” 

He smiled at her and switched hands with the box. 

“What’s with the box?” She asked feeling the warmth of his hand as he pressed his palm against her stomach. 

“Should’ve given it to you a long time ago, but the time was only right the one time I didn’t have it with me.” He opened the box. 

“Is that?” 

“Your wedding set. I had it made before we left Corellia.” He spoke taking his hand away from her stomach to separate the two delicate rings. 

She smiled sitting up. “You hid that from me really well.” 

“I put ‘em up really high.” He spoke setting the box on his night stand. “Figured you couldn’t reach what you couldn’t see.” 

“Scoundrel.” She spoke as he took her hand. 

“You like me because I’m a scoundrel.” 

She smiled at him. 

“You know, I knocked you up, I should at least make an attempt at making you look like an honest woman.” He spoke sliding the ring on her hand. 

She smiled at him. “Han, I was a politician and a spy when we met, I’m not sure anyone would consider me an honest woman.” 

“I hate politics.” He spoke cupping her jaw. 

“But you apparently love a politician.” 

“Former politician.” He kissed her. 

“When all of this is over, I’ll probably return to the Senate.” 

“Hmm.” He spoke contemplating the idea of being a Senator’s husband. “We get married and I become what again?” 

“Prince Consort to the Princess of Alderaan.” 

He smiled at her. “And what if you become a Senator again?” 

“That doesn’t change your role.” 

“I’m problematic.” He spoke kissing her again slipping his hands under the hem of her shirt/his old shirt. “For a politician. You sure you want to marry me, Senator?” 

“I think.” She breathed. “It would be even more problematic to have children with you and not be married to you.” 

“Hmm.” He spoke tracing the line of her jaw. “I hadn’t thought of that. Should we elope?” 

“You’re trying to marry me because you knocked me up, aren’t you?” 

“I’m trying to do the right thing.” 

“I don’t want a blaster rifle wedding Han. We’ll get married when we get around to it.” 

“And your folks are okay with that?” 

She shrugged. “It’s really none of their business.” 

“And you’ve decided to be the Princess of Alderaan again.” 

“New Alderaan. I will always been the Princess of Alderaan, I was given the choice to be here.” 

“I didn’t think you were going to take it.” 

“I haven’t officially. I wasn’t going to, but now that I know that Kira is mine and the line of succession wouldn’t make her feel as though she wasn’t ours, I’m more willing to do so.” 

“But you’re adopted.” 

“Under the old rules, I’d never be able to be queen.” 

“Could you now?” 

Leia nodded. 

Han smiled at her. 

“What?” 

“S’nothin’.” He spoke moving her onto her back and resting in the cradle of her hips. 

“Hmm?” She rested her forearms on his shoulders. “You can’t imagine me as a queen?” 

“Can’t imagine the powers that be lettin’ me be a king.” 

“You wouldn’t be, papa isn’t a king.” 

“What would I be?” 

“His Royal Highness Han Solo, Prince Consort to the Queen, House Organa.” 

“Would I take your name?” 

“In a sense, you would. When we get married, you’ll be a member of House Organa. You could take my name if you wanted. I think its rather old fashioned.” 

“I just assumed we’d both keep our names. Can’t see you bein’ Leia Solo anymore than I can see you bein’ Han Solo-Organa.” 

Leia smiled at him. 

“What?” 

She ran her knuckles along the soft skin of his cheek. “I like this.” 

“No more beard?” 

“Hmm mmm.” 

“Ever?

She nodded. “It chafes.” 

He furrowed his eyebrows at her. “Where?” 

She raised an eyebrow at him. “Everywhere.” 

He cleared his throat. “No more beard then.” 

She smiled at him. 

“Ever.” He spoke kissing her chest. 

“See, that’s much better.” She breathed. 

“Oh?” He kissed her breasts. 

“Mmm. You should close shave more often.” She breathed. 

He stopped and pushed himself up on his hands. 

“What?” She spoke as he stared into her eyes. 

He kissed her gently, deciding to wait to get all mushy and sentimental about the visitor until after. She tangled her fingers into his hair and dragged her fingertips against his scalp. She felt him groan as he lowered his upper body back down against her. Gods she loved the weight of him, the pressure of his body against hers. 

He worked his way down he body and she let him, she’d dreamt of him at some point during the night. 

“Tell me what you want.” He growled against her ear. 

“You tell me.” She breathed. “Tell me.” 

He smiled against her neck. “Want to hear you.” He spoke working his way to her breasts. 

“Easy.” She breathed. “They’re real tender.”

“We’ll skip it then.” 

She nodded. 

“Don’t want to hurt you.” He spoke working his way down. “Never want to hurt you.” 

She breathed feeling his hand, finally his hand cupping her searching. 

“So good.” He spoke kissing her neck. “Want to taste you.” 

“Ha-an.” Her voice hitched in her throat. 

He smiled at her. “Good, princess?” 

She nodded and watched him bury his face between her thighs. “Fuck.” She breathed digging her heels into the mattress, this was going to be quicker than normal. She’d known that he was very meticulous and detail oriented when came to the Falcon, but until they’d begun sleeping together she’d had no idea that he took that same approach to her body. 

“Gods.” She moaned tilting her hips up for him watching him watch her as he worked. “Ha-an.” She moaned his name adding a second syllable. 

He pushed her hard until her back arched and she grabbed the headboard for leverage. 

He lie there for a while his head resting against her thigh letting her recover leaving lazy kisses next to the dense pile of silky curls she’d been so self conscious about, so convinced he would want her to shave. She’d been so surprised that he’d begged her to never shave them. “Better, princess?” 

“Mmm.” She spoke running her fingers through his hair. 

“Mi corazon.” He spoke quietly. 

She smiled at him. “I really like it when you call me that.” 

“Mi corazon.” 

“Si.” 

“Mmm.” He closed the distance between them and kissed her. “Ti amo.” He kissed her. “Mi princesa.” He kissed her neck. “Mi corazon.” 

She slipped her arms around his neck, resting her forearms on his shoulders. 

“Te quiero.” 

“My aunt Celly didn’t teach you that did she?” 

He chuckled. “No.” 

“Good, talking dirty in Moccoan would have the opposite effect if I knew the Head Mistress was teaching you those words.” 

He laughed. “I’ve been supplementing my lessons.” 

“Tell me.” 

“Te quiero.” 

“Hablar.” She breathed. “Hablame.” 

He kissed her. “Te necesito.” 

“Vos si?” 

“Si, si mi corazon.” 

She smiled at his limited vocabulary and lease his accent was getting better. “Han.” She breathed. “Please.” She move just enough to press against him and he was so hard. He groaned involuntarily when she made contact with him moving slowly. 

“Fuck you’re tight.” He growled into her neck. “Always so tight.” 

“You like it.” She spoke watching him reach blindly into the nightstand. He kissed her neck and she moaned feeling him run his hands over her, silk with lube always so cautious, wanting it to be perfect for her, making sure she came, making sure it never ever hurt. 

“Gods.” She breathed as he plunged deep inside of her with less resistance settling into that perfect rhythm that they’d found together as if their bodies so different in size had been made for each other just for this. 

“Ven por mi.” He breathed and she could tell he was close by the way his voice hitched in his throat. “Leia por favor ven a buscarme.” He stammered reaching down to where their bodies joined offering her a little assistance before his body betrayed him. Suddenly they were floating like they’d been in the zero gravity turret and he couldn’t tell where his body began and her’s ended. He’d never felt anything like it and the pleasure was overwhelming. 

“Leia?” He groaned and she looked at him, her eyes glowing blue. 

“Don’t stop.” She breathed as a blue glow seemed to engulf them both. 

“Ven por mi.” He growled feeling her body react, her fingers digging into his back her muscles tightening around him giving him the permission he’d waited for to release. 

“What was that?” He spoke trying to catch his breath watching Leia do the same. 

“I’ve only ever read about it.” She spoke breathing heavily. “I think we force bonded.” 

He kissed her. “Whatever that was.” He breathed. “I’d be up for doing that again.” 

She smiled at him. 

Han watched as he caught his breath, she liked it when he stayed inside of her after and he liked the gentle press of her as she came down. 

He kissed her and moved onto his side. 

“Where are you going?” She spoke catching her breath. 

“Didn’t want to put too much pressure on you.” She stroked her cheek. 

“I like pressure.” 

“Yeah, but you know... the bandit?” 

“Oh no you don’t.” Leia sat up. “Don’t you dare.” 

“What?” He looked up at her. 

“You’re not going to treat me as if I’m some sort of delicate female thing, now that we have a visitor.” 

“A baby.” 

“I’m not calling it baby until I know I’m going to be able to carry it.” 

He sighed sitting up on his elbow. “Lei.” He stroked her cheek gently. 

She sighed crossing her arms cross her chest. 

“Talk to me.” 

She shook her head. 

“Leia.” He pressed his hand against her stomach gently. 

“Please stop.” She spoke getting up. “Han...” She wrapped her kimono around herself and walked over to the multi-lighted doors that led to their deck. 

“What’s goin on sweetheart?” 

She sighed hearing him get out of bed. 

“Talk to me.” He spoke cupping her shoulders his warm body pressed against the length of her. “You feel something?” 

“I don’t know.” 

Han sighed. “We can always try again, you know?” 

She nodded. “I’m sure it’s nothing.” 

“Tell me.” 

She rubbed her eyes trying to keep the tears from falling. “I had a nightmare.” 

“Last night?” 

She nodded. 

“Didn’t wake me up, your nightmares always wake me up.” 

“My night terrors wake you, this wasn’t one of those.” 

“Oh.” 

“I lost it Han.” She whispered. “I lost the baby.” 

He sighed wrapping his arms around her, knowing that many of her dreams were premonitions, but also that she never knew which were and which weren’t. “When?” 

“In a couple of months.” 

He sighed. “Not all your dreams are premonitions, remember?” 

She nodded. “Just don’t get comfortable. I don’t know, just sleep with one eye open.” 

He nodded. “But I want you to enjoy this.” 

“I can’t now.” 

“You’ll feel better once you see Dr. Vincente.” 

She nodded. 

“Want to do that today?” 

She shrugged. “I kind of thought we were going to stay in bed all morning.” 

“You uh, you kind of killed the vibe princess.” 

She turned in his arms. 

He pulled her close. “Better now?” 

She pressed her forehead against him. “No.” 

Leia watched the soft snow fall around them as Han navigated the narrow speeder path he’d cut back before he’d built the house in the woods. The winters were longer here than they were on Alderaan, and Alderaanian winters were fairly long at six months. She’d been surprised by the first snow fall that had begun in the early, early fall and she expected spring any day, but it had yet to arrive. 

“Lei?” Han touched her arm as he drove. 

She looked at him. 

“Alright?” 

“Just watching the snow.” 

“Sure snows a lot here.” He spoke slipping his arm around her and pulling her close. 

She nodded. 

“Is Luke still blocking you?” Han spoke sitting on the exam table with her his legs hanging over the side. 

She nodded curled up against him trying to stay calm, trying not to panic. She hated this, hated exams, hated medics and doctors and if an EM-DEE droid came through that door she was done. 

Han felt her tense. “When do you think we’ll hear something?” He spoke letting his fingers trace up and down her arm. 

“I’m going to comm Mon when we get back.” 

“If they don’t sedate you.” 

She nodded, they’d sedated her the last time. She’d never not been at least mildly sedated for something like this. Just taking a little blood for a blood test had almost warranted sedation. She was still so traumatized by her experience on the Death Star. He’d tried once, to get her to see a professional and she’d been vehemently opposed, so he hadn’t suggested it in a very long time. This certainly wasn’t the setting for that. 

Han sighed watching Leia sleep off the sedation as Dr. Vinciente updated her notes and sent a copy to their records cloud. 

“What do you think Doc?” He spoke smoothing her hair gently. 

“I don’t see any reason for her to worry right now.” 

He nodded. “Can you put that in your notes?” 

She nodded. 

“So, you think it’s safe?” 

“Safe?” 

“Safe for her to relax a little.” 

“I think so, we’ll watch it really close. I want to see her every two weeks.” 

“She’s going to love that.” 

Dr. Vinciente laughed. 

Han helped Leia sit up. 

“Is it over?” She shielded her eyes from the light. 

Han nodded. “Everything is fine.” He soothed. 

Leia shivered. 

“Cold?” 

She nodded. 

“Dr. Vinciente sent your notes so that you can read them later and she wants to see you every two weeks.” 

Leia looked at him. “That’s a lot of sedation.” 

“She won’t have to sedate you each time after a while. Just the early exams.” 

“Good, it kind of ruins the rest of the day.” 

Leia slept curled up against him as he drove them back out into the woods, far away from New Aldera and the monument to her death that the workmen were finally dismantling. He’d helped out with the work a couple of days that week, but considering the state of the Alliance and the state of Leia he’d decided to stay home. He’d comm Celly later once he got Leia settled. He’d assumed that she knew, that Bail had commed for him but it was always best to check in, especially since he’d taken on a more administrative role lately. 

“I need to comm Mon.” Leia slurred as Han helped her into the house. 

“Not like this you don’t.” Han spoke sitting her down on the sofa. 

“I need to know if she’s okay.” 

“I’ll comm her Lei, you rest.” 

She nodded. 

“Want me to tell her about the visitor?” 

“No! I’ll tell her.” Leia started to get up. 

“Where are you going?” 

“I need to comm to Mon.” 

“Nope.” Han picked her up. 

“Put me down.” 

“No.” He spoke gently amid her half hearted protests. “You need to sleep this off.” He carried her upstairs. 

“Han.” She protested as he tucked her into their bed. 

“Relax, mi corazon.” He kissed her forehead


	25. Paternity

Leia stood in resting fighting stance the violet of her lightsaber blade illuminating her face as she stared down Vader. 

“You will tell me the location of your daughter.” Vader’s voice reverberated in the dark chamber. 

She didn’t speak, only watched his every move, tightening and loosening her grip on her lightsaber with each breath she took. 

“You stole her from me.” He hissed. 

Leia glanced at Luke who stood bladed waiting in his grey robes looking calmer than she felt. 

“You wear black, your Highness. Like your father.” Vader referenced Leia’s black Jedi robes. 

“Defeat Skywalker.” The Emperor hissed. “Defeat the boy and join us. Rule the galaxy with us, your rebellion will fail in time as we grow stronger. Father and daughter to rule side by side. It is your destiny Leia.” 

She kept her eyes trained on Vader. 

“I can feel your anger daughter.” He reached out to her. “Join me, rule by my side dark Princess. The Sith is strong in you Lady Vader.” 

Leia sat up in a cold sweat, breathing heavy. She could feel the presence within her she could feel panic. She sat in the darkness and she could’ve sworn she could still hear the Sith Lord’s breathing. 

Lady Vader. 

She let herself into the fresher and let the shower run. She was drenched with sweat for the third time that week. She needed to talk to her father, but he was off planet meeting with a group of Alderaani refugees hiding out on the Outer Rim. 

“Your side of the bed was wet again.” Han spoke watching her put on her makeup in the mirror. 

“Sorry.” She murmured quietly. 

“Want to talk about it?” 

“No.” 

“Leia.” He cupped her shoulders gently. “I’m worried about you.” 

“Me too.” 

He kissed the top of her head. “Is it the bandit?” 

She shook her head. 

“Nightmares?” 

“Vader.”

“What about ‘em?”

“I really need to talk to my father.” 

“Leia?” A woman’s voice halted her in the corridor as she opened a packet of crisp bread between meetings to try and calm her stomach. 

She sighed letting her shoulders drop, she just wanted to get through this day without having to talk to anyone. She was filling in for her father and fighting insomnia and morning sickness all while wondering why she’d yet to hear from Luke. “Yes.” She spoke abandoning her task to try and preserve some sort of decorum. 

“Are you alright, your highness?” The woman spoke when Leia turned to face her. 

“Not really Ami, no but I’ll be fine.” She addressed the woman who had to be at least twenty years her senior but moved like they were around the same age. Ami was her father’s second, but he treated her as an equal. The two of them had worked together for as long as Leia could remember; Bail always front-facing, Ami always in the background. When she was little Ami would always carry her around when Bail brought her to work, showing her this procedure and that and talking about justice, telling her of the Clone Wars and the Jedi. Leia had always sensed that Ami had been more than this at some point, she always seemed so regal and poised. She’d taught Leia how to move like a Princess with confidence and poise, but also how to shoot a blaster and ride a speeder bike. She’d taught her how to carry herself if she were ever captured by the Empire. Leia’s Sabacc face was Ami’s. Ami, other than her parents had always been Leia’s favorite person. 

“You look exhausted.” She took her elbow turning her around, away from the conference rooms. “Come.” 

“But the urban planning meeting.” Leia spoke. 

“I sent Zoreli to take notes in your stead.” 

Leia nodded. “Thank you.” 

“You mustn’t overdo Lelila.” She spoke gently as they walked back toward the office suite. 

“Ami?” Leia spoke sipping the Urdunian ginger tea she’d made for her. “You’ve been around since father brought me home.” 

She nodded sitting down with Leia, she’d dreaded this conversation for the last twenty or so years, but she and Bail agreed that it was best to be honest with Leia if she ever asked. 

“I keep having this horrible nightmare.” She sighed. “I’m in some sort of fighting chamber with Luke and I have a lightsaber again and Vader is there and Palpatine.” She set her tea down and hugged her arms to chest. “And I’m wearing my black robes and I’m there to fight with Luke, to take them down.” 

Ami nodded. 

“And then Vader starts talking. First he asks me where Kira is, says that I stole her from him.” She spoke looking at her hands. “And then he calls me daughter and Lady Vader and I wake up in a cold sweat, shaking... I...”

Ami sighed. 

“What does it mean? Who am I?” 

Ami met her eyes with her own, deep brown and shaped almost the same. “This isn’t easy for us, your father or I. Your mother never knew, we kept it away from her.” She spoke setting Leia’s tea aside and taking her hand. “He’s your father.” 

“Vader?” 

“The man Vader was before he turned.” Ami corrected. “He wasn’t always bad. Anakin was a good man, a very good man and then there was the pull from the dark side and it overwhelmed him and it turned him against Obi Wan and against your mother. When he found out that you and your brother and your mother had died...”

“We died?” 

“Obi Wan and Bail made it look like you had died. They then split up you and your brother.” 

“Twins.” 

Ami nodded. “Luke went to live with Ani’s stepbrother and his wife on Tatooine and you went to Alderaan with Bail and Breha.” 

“Luke? Luke is my brother?” 

Ami nodded. “You know that, you’ve always known that.” 

She nodded. 

“So, Anakin Skywalker is Darth Vader?” 

Ami nodded. 

“And my father?” 

Ami nodded. 

“It doesn’t matter, Bail is my father isn’t he?” 

She nodded. 

“Who was my mother, you said she died?” 

“I said the three died, mother and the infants.” 

“But Luke and I are alive.” 

Ami got up and walked over to the window. 

“What about my mother? Why did she leave me? I mean if I could have been hidden on Alderaan why couldn’t she?” 

“Leia, we should have never lied to you, but it was the only way we knew to keep you safe. Breha doesn’t even know.” 

Leia stared at her back her regal posture. “Who are you?” 

“Padme Amidala, the lost Queen of Naboo.” 

“You bought Han a sandwich.” Leia was surprised by the first words to come spilling out of her mouth. 

“What?” Ami looked at her. 

“On Corellia, you bought him a sandwich, when he was little. It’s one of his only good childhood memories. Why did you leave Naboo to come here and work with my father?” 

“I’ve been hiding here since your birth.” 

Leia looked at her, appraising the shape of her eyes, her hairline, her build, she wasn’t much taller than Leia and she had her same Druian features. “You’re my mother?” 

She nodded. “I never wanted to overstep, but I spent as much time with you as I could.” 

Leia nodded remembering her as aunt who taught her things that her mother would never approve of and who she spent the Festival de Luz and Pascua with every year. Sure, it made sense now, those were Ami’s holidays not the holidays of her family. Leia pushed herself up and walked over to her. “Who gave me my name?” 

“I did.” Ami looked at her. 

“Are you proud of me?” 

Ami smiled at her. “Yes.” 

Leia stared into her tea numbed by the revelation that Vader was her father. She wasn’t surprised by the news, in fact it made sense. She’d felt a connection to the Sith and she’d guessed that it had been Kira all this time, until she’d found out that Kira was not his. She ran her fingers through her hair absently. She knew, she’d had this feeling for most of her life and she had just hoped that she was wrong

“Do you think it’s in the blood?” Leia spoke looking up without really focusing her eyes anywhere specific. “The propensity to turn, do you think it’s genetic?” 

“No. Absolutely not.” Ami spoke sitting down with her. “Ani wasn’t intrinsically a bad person. He just wanted power over something. Why?” 

“Because Kira is mine.” 

“How?” 

Leia sighed. “They took my genetic material. Vader tried to make a Sith child and hid her on Corellia.” 

“She’s a lovely child, I wouldn’t worry.” 

Leia nodded. “What about future children?” 

“There was plenty of good in Anakin, there probably still is deep down.” 

Leia but her lip, she wasn’t ready to hear that. 

“Leia.” She spoke gently, running her fingers through her hair, soothingly like a mother. “You and Han are good, it’s just not something I would focus on.” 

She nodded. 

“Are you and Han thinking of having another child?” 

She nodded. “I know papa told you. He’s horrible at keeping secrets.” 

Ami laughed. “He is, he told me the next day.” 

“His intentions are good.” 

“He was just so excited.” 

Leia smiled. “So is Han. He’s trying to be casual about it for my sake but I can feel his excitement.” 

“Aren’t you excited?” 

“I was and then I had a nightmare about losing the baby.” She sighed. “Now, I’m afraid to be excited.” 

“Leia, you can’t live your life like that.” 

She nodded. 

“Have you told Kira?” 

“She told us.” Leia laughed. “She kept following me around saying, ‘someone here to visit.’ It really freaked me out for awhile until Han suggested that I might be pregnant.” 

“She reminds me so much of you. She is so incredibly bright like you were.” 

Leia nodded. “Ami? Can you handle things if I go home early?” 

“Absolutely.” 

“Thank you.” 

“Are you alright?” 

She nodded. “Vader being my father is a lot to process. I need some time before Han gets home.” 

“I understand. Would I be overstepping if I came out to check on you in a few hours?” 

“No, that would be nice.” Leia got up. 

“Leia.” Ami got up. 

She looked at the older woman. 

“Don’t shut him out.” 

“Han?” 

She nodded. 

Leia nodded. “Han’s too perceptive to shut out.”


	26. Comfort

Leia did not hear Han come in with Kira as she sat curled up on the sofa in her soft clothes; leggings, Bantha wool socks and one of her old sweaters. She’d washed off her makeup and even been home long enough to shower. She was drinking some sort of spiced cocoa concoction, Han could smell it. 

Comfort. 

She was trying to self soothe. 

“Leia?” He spoke gently. 

She wiped her eyes and looked at him. 

“What’s going on with you lately?” 

“Where’s Kira?” 

“Playing in her room.” He spoke sitting down with her. “Talk to me Lei?” 

She sighed letting her head rest against his shoulder. “Han.” Her voice shook. “He’s my father.” 

“Who?” 

“Vader.” She spoke so quietly, he barely heard her. 

Han was silent for a long time. 

“Aren’t you glad you didn’t marry me?” 

He sighed slipping his arm around her. “Leia.” He spoke gently. “It doesn’t change anything.” He spoke pulling her close. “I love you.” 

“But Han.” She protested. “I’m that monster’s child.” 

“You know what my mother used to say?” 

“Elke?” 

“Yeah.” 

She looked at him. 

He stroked her cheek gently as she appraised him. “She’d say, manchmal dammert der schonste Tag nach den schecklichsten Sturmen.” 

She sighed translating the Corellian. “Sometimes the most beautiful day dawns after the most horrible storms.” 

“That’s right.” He nodded. “You’re not him, you’re nothing like him.” 

“What if Kira or the bandit...” 

Han sighed. “Evil isn’t something your born with Leia, evil is something you choose.” 

She nodded. 

Han rubbed her back gently. 

“I think Luke and I are meant to face he and the Emperor together.” 

“Hmm.” Han spoke focusing more on soothing her than on what she was saying. “What makes you say that?” 

“He’s my brother.” 

“Does he know?” 

“Mmm, no.” She shook her head. “I’ve kind of always known, I was headed to Tatooine to find Obi Wan. We were to find Skywalker together, my father told me that I’d know him, I’d feel it in the force.” 

“I guess you found him anyway.” 

“I sent a message to Obi Wan, he knew what to do when I invoked my father’s name.” 

“I saw that message.” 

“You did?” 

Han nodded. “Luke played it on the Falcon when we were on our way to Alderaan.” 

She nodded. 

“Prettiest hologram I’d ever seen.” 

She smiled at him. “You’re laying it on awfully thick Solo.” 

He smiled at her. “Weird shaped head, but pretty.” 

She laughed. “What?” 

“On account of the hood, you know. Didn’t realize it was your hair.” 

She laughed. 

“Now, you tell me how someone as altruistic as that princess in that hologram could worry about being somehow influenced by a parent that didn’t raise them.” 

Leia looked at him. “I...”

He raised his eyebrows at her. 

She nodded looking at her lap. 

“And no one who is as good as you are is gonna raise another Vader, you hear me?” 

She nodded. 

“To think any different would be nonsense.” 

She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and nodded. 

“Ah sweetheart.” He pulled her close. “It’s gonna be alright.” 

She nodded closing her eyes and letting him hold her, trying to relax. She’d been so worried he wouldn’t take the news as well as he had. She wondered if there was anything she could tell him that would change his feelings for her. She felt his arms tighten around her. “Breathe Lei.” He spoke quietly into her hair. “This changes nothing.” 

“Promise me?” 

“I promise.” He kissed her hair. 

Leia sat on the floor of Kira’s room watching her play. She was numb from the conversation she’d had with Ami and just felt like being close to her. She also wanted the quiet time to take advantage of Ami’s advice. So, she sat watching Kira play with a set of handmade blocks that Han had made for Fane years before. 

“Mumma?” She wandered over to her with her stuffed Wookie. 

“Yes loved?” 

“I say hi to my friend?” She spoke quietly crawling into her lap. 

“Your friend?” 

“In there?” 

Leia sighed having no idea how to explain that the visitor was Kira’s family not just her friend. “Kira?” 

“Uh huh?” Kira spoke pressing her hand against Leia’s stomach. She could feel the humming presence move toward Kira’s hand. 

“Would you rather have a brother or a sister?” She spoke running her fingers through her fine dark hair. 

Kira shrugged. “Don’t care mumma.” 

“You don’t care?” 

“Nope.” 

“Kira?” 

She looked at her. 

“You know that your daddy and I love you very much.” 

Kira nodded. 

“And that’s not going to change when the visitor gets here.” 

She nodded. “Mumma?” 

“Yes, love’d?” 

“I not in there?” 

“No baby, you weren’t.” 

“My friend in there.” 

Leia nodded. 

“They come out?” 

“It’s going to be a long time before that happens.” 

Kira furrowed her eyebrows. “Tomorrow?” 

“Lot’s of tomorrows, baby.” 

“And we play?” 

“Not at first, they’ll be too little to play with, you can hold them though.” 

“How many in there?” 

“Just one, baby.” Leia spoke leaning back on her hands and watching Kira press her cheek against her stomach. “You’re going to be a big sister.” She spoke smoothing her hair behind her ear gently. “That’s a big responsibility.” 

She nodded solemnly. 

“Are you my big girl?” 

“Huh uh.” 

“You want to be my baby for just a little longer?” 

She nodded. 

Leia smiled feeling the two presences together. She’d worried at first about whether or not the had waited long enough for Kira to feel secure with them as her parents, but even now this early she could feel a bond, a connection between Kira and the visitor. She hoped that this pregnancy held, she wasn’t sure how Kira would handle the loss if it occurred. She wished that she could be as fearless about the visitor’s existence as Kira was, Han would love that—he would love to see her relax and enjoy this time. 

Han got up as their door chimed for the second time, whoever it was, wasn’t taking the hint. He opened the door abruptly and was surprised to see Ami, Bail’s second standing at the door alarmed by his gruffness and looking a lot more like Leia than he’d realized. 

“Ami?” 

“Han.” She spoke flatly. 

“What brings you out to the woods? News from Bail?” 

She shook her head. “I came to check on Leia.” 

He nodded. 

“May I?” She gestured into the house. “Or are you going to just let me stand out in the cold?”

“Uh, yeah sure.” He stepped back. “Come on in.” 

“How is she?” Ami spoke crossing into the entry way. 

Han nodded rubbing the back of his neck. “Oh, y’know pretending she’s fine when she ain’t.” 

Ami nodded. “She’s always been like that.” 

He nodded. “Yeah.” 

“Have you spoken?” 

He nodded. “Yeah, she told me.” 

Ami nodded. “And how are you?” 

“M’fine.” Han spoke crossing to the kitchen to make caff. “Wish Bail had waited to tell her in person.” 

“I told her.” 

“You? Why in seven hells would you do something like that? She’s pregnant, Ami what were you thinking?” 

“She asked.” Ami spoke sitting down at the eat-in bar. “And Bail and I decided long ago that if she ever asked, we’d tell her the truth.” 

“Yeah? Well, this ain’t the best timing for her.” He spoke glancing at the small determined woman seated in his kitchen. 

Ami nodded. “She deserved the truth.” 

“The truth that Vader is her father? You think she deserved that?” 

“She deserved to know. Don’t you dare twist my words.” 

He sighed handing her a cup of caff and turning his shoulder to her to make himself a cup. “All I’m sayin’ is it’s bad timing.” 

Ami nodded in agreement. “Honestly, Han when would be a good time to tell her that her father is Anakin Skywalker?” 

Han shrugged. “Dunno, Ami maybe after her first trimester?” 

She sighed, he had a point. “I wouldn’t have told her if she hadn’t asked.” 

He nodded turning to her with his caff in hand. “So, why you?” He sipped at the hot liquid. 

“She didn’t tell you?” 

He shook his head. 

“I’m her mother.” 

Han stood still his mouth open to speak as he appraised her, looking at the similarities between the two women. “But you’re dead.” 

“Technically, so are Luke and Leia.” 

He nodded, he was old enough to know the story of the ill fated love affair between a queen and a Jedi Knight. “Does she know?”

Ami nodded. 

Han sighed raking his fingers through his hair. “Gods.” 

“Bail hid us well.” 

He nodded speechless and overwhelmed by Ami’s revelation. He watched her drink her caff, watched the way she moved, the way she held her mug and saw Leia. “Does she know?” 

Ami nodded. “She knows.” 

“Has she always known, like when she was little?” 

She shook her head. “We didn’t think was safe for a little girl to know that her mother was the lost Queen of Naboo, that Padme Amidala had lived. Children talk Han, it was best she didn’t have that information available to her.” 

Han let out an audible sigh. “That’s heavy.” 

She nodded. “So, Bail and I decided that if she ever asked as an adult we’d tell her the truth.” 

“I know you were in her life.” He scrubbed the back of his neck and stared at the counter top. “She’d mentioned that after she introduced me to you.” 

She nodded. “I was like an auntie.” 

“Said you taught her how to tame thrantas and ride a speeder bike.” 

“And shoot a blaster.” 

Han smiled. 

“She also spent certain holidays with me, my holidays, her holidays that were not her parents’.” 

He nodded. “Her parents aren’t Druian then?” 

Ami shook her head. “No, just Moccoan. She was a little Druian girl adopted by a wonderful Moccoan couple. We decided, Bail and Breha and I that she should keep her culture, and so she would stay with me during our holidays.” 

“That had to have been difficult.” 

She nodded. 

“Watching your daughter go home to someone else.” 

She cleared her throat and wiped her eyes with the same dignity he’d always seen from Leia. “At least I knew her. It was for her safety, my safety...”

“Didn’t It piss you off after a while?” Han cut her off. “I mean come on your highness, your little girl going home with someone else.” 

Ami looked at him and he watched her eyes flash like Leia’s. “Every time.” 

“I’d have taken her and left.” 

“Gods, I wanted to.” 

“Good.” 

“Good?” 

He nodded. “Means you love her.” 

She nodded. “I’d give my life for her over and over again.” 

“You sorta did.” 

She sighed nodding. “And I still question whether or not I did the right thing by she and Luke.” 

Leia stood out of sight listening to the conversation between Han and Ami. She was shocked by how easily Han could get her to tell the honest truth about the arrangement and her real feelings. 

“Do you think that they were good to her?” 

Ami nodded. “I do, until she came home. I don’t know what’s going on with Breha, but it’s as if Leia’s not her daughter anymore.” 

“She’s still yours, you know? She’s a grown woman and Breha can’t stop you from stepping up in her place.” Han spoke gently. “She needs someone like a mother, someone who knows the fear she feels now with the pregnancy and the Vader thing. Breha ain’t gonna be there for her. She needs you.” 

Ami looked at him. “You’re still that sweet little boy from the streets of Coronet City who wouldn’t eat his sandwich until his sister ate first. I should have taken you with me, the both of you and made sure you were safe and cared for.” 

He cleared his throat. “She didn’t make it.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“She was so little and I tried so hard...”

“Han.” She placed her hand on his forearm. “You were a child, you did your best.” 

He nodded. “When I saw Kira on the street and the visceral reaction Leia had to her, I—I saw my little sister and I would have done anything I had to, to take her with us. Never mattered to me where she came from, didn’t ever want to know. She’s as much mine as the one we made together.” 

Ami nodded. 

“Gods, I don’t know how you endured watching your little girl raised by others, and not knowing the fate of your son.” 

“I don’t know either Han.” 

He nodded. 

Leia took the lull in conversation as an opportunity to walk in. Ami watched her and knew she’d heard most of the conversation between she and Han. She could tell by her eyes, she could tell by the way she looked at her, so differently than before. Han busied himself making Leia some tea while the two women stared at each other, while they both hesitated in the same way. He watched them out of the corner of his eye so obviously mother and child, so hesitant. 

“Are you alright?” Ami spoke first. 

“I’m terrified.” 

“That’s normal.” 

Leia nodded. “I always thought I’d have my mother, to ask questions to—to comm, but so much has changed and I’m not the same and Breha doesn’t want me anymore.” 

“I should tell you she’s trying, but I don’t feel like she’s trying hard enough.” 

Leia shook her head. “So don’t.” 

Ami sighed getting up, taking Han’s advice. “Leia.” 

Leia looked up at her. 

“I’m still here.” 

Leia nodded. 

Han watched Ami take Leia into her arms and hold her tight against her chest like he’d waited for Breha to do since the moment they’d arrived, like a mother. He could feel Leia relax, feel her shift. 

“I’m not going anywhere. I love you without condition.” Ami spoke gently. “You’re my daughter and I’m right here anytime you need me.” 

Leia nodded holding her tight. Han could tell that she’d needed this for most of her life, the primal connection between mother and child that Breha could no longer provide. He wiped his eyes and looked away, the moment so intimate and sacred that he felt like he was intruding just by being present.


	27. Spring

Luke paced in the small berth of the transport ship that ran from the far reaches off the Anoat system to New Alderaan. He’d been out of contact for too long, three whole months he’d gone without talking to Leia or Han, gods he knew she was going to be angry with him. 

Wedge watched him pace from their bunk, his keen black eyes following him back and forth across the cramped cabin. “She’ll just be happy to see you.” 

“You don’t know Leia.” Luke stammered nervously. 

“No, one really knows Leia.” Wedge sat up on his elbow. “I’m not even sure you know Leia.” 

Luke looked at him. 

“Who knows, maybe living the domestic life with Han has changed her? She’s a mother now.” Wedge laughed at the thought of Leia Organa softening up. “Maybe she’s softer now.” 

“She’s a mother out of necessity.” Luke spoke with his hands as he paced. “It’s a part of her sense of duty.” 

“I think you’re wrong about that, flyboy.” Wedge sat up. “I saw her when she was on base with Han and the girl. She was tender and gentle with her and watchful. I’d never seen anything like it. She held that baby close to her chest and whispered to her. When Hobbie dropped that jack and the noise scared the seven hells out her I thought Leia was going to kill him. She wanted to tear into him but she stayed back and soothed the child instead letting Solo handle it. She’s never let Solo handle anything. I thought Hobbie was going to shit himself when Solo stalked toward him pushing up his sleeves. Leia just stood there being that child’s mother.” 

“Did Han hit ‘em?” Luke looked at Wedge. 

“Nah, just poked him in the chest a few times and then walked back over to Leia and the baby and helped Leia sooth her, talking real gentle like. Never seen neither of ‘em act like that. They’re both different from what I can tell.” Wedge reached out to him. “Now come on, come back to bed.” 

The long winter on New Alderaan had finally lifted and with the improvement of the weather came an improvement in Leia’s mood. She’d taken over more and more of her father’s duties as time went on and really felt like she was beginning to hit her stride. She walked with a confidence she hadn’t had since before the Death Star. She was happy, but deep in the recesses of her mind she worried about Luke and wondered if her father was sick or if he was just retiring. Han had told her not to worry about the kid, that he’d be along when he decided to be and that her father was just stepping back and letting her take the reins, passing things on to her from father to daughter, The Organa Legacy as he put it. 

Leia worked late in her office after hours, quiet music playing on her personal datapad. She sat curled up on the window seat reading as a soft rain fell against the ancient glass. At the edge of her consciousness she felt the visitor’s presence slowly change from sleep cycle to awake cycle. She hadn’t told Han yet, but she was almost positive that it was a girl. She was contemplating naming her after Han’s mother if that was something he’d want. He’d named his first child after his sister, and her death made Leia more wary of Han’s feelings on the subject. 

She rested her hand against the new gentle curve of her stomach where the visitor floated—baby, ‘it’s a baby Leia.’ Han had snapped at her that morning. ‘You’re into your fourth month, out of the first trimester, ya think you could start calling it a baby?’ She’d nodded and gotten up from the kitchen table to get ready for work. She was hurt by his tone, more hurt than she’d normally be. So here she sat in her office hiding out, not wanting to go home just yet. Her feelings were hurt which was a rather new experience for her and she didn’t like the way it made her throat constrict and ache and she didn’t like the way her eyes filled when she thought about it. She really hated the way it made her feel like a foolish little girl. She sighed and watched Kira sleep on the little sleeping couch in her office, Leia had, had a sleeping couch in her father’s office when she was a little girl and though Han had protested at first, Kira really seemed to enjoy staying with Leia throughout the day and the sleeping couch afforded her the luxury of staying on a good nap schedule. 

Han leaned in the open doorway to Leia’s office and watched her gently stroke the curve of her stomach as she read. He wasn’t sure she was even aware of her movements, it seemed so instinctual, so natural that it relieved some of his apprehension. She may not have been willing to call the bandit a baby, but she was definitely deeply connected to it. He knew he’d hurt her feelings that morning and he knew she wasn’t actually working. He could tell that she was reading for pleasure and avoiding coming home. He’d done that, he knew it. This was his fault. 

“Lei?” He spoke gently not wanting to startle her and not wanting to wake Kira. 

“Mmm?” She raised an eyebrow and continued to read without looking up. 

“You coming home?” 

“Haven’t decided.” She spoke flatly. “Thought I might sleep here, it’d be close but I think Kira and I could both fit on her sleeping couch.” 

“Lei...”

“Maybe let you sleep alone for a night.” 

He sighed. “Leia.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “You still mad at me?” 

“I’m not mad, Han I wasn’t ever mad.” She spoke quietly her tone even. 

“Sweetheart.” He touched her shoulder gently. 

“Don’t.” She jerked her shoulder away. 

“Leia, I’m sorry.” 

“Oh, the scoundrel apologizes. I didn’t think you apologized to anyone.” 

He sighed. “I apologize when I’m wrong Leia. I was wrong and I’m sorry.” 

She nodded. 

“You just call it whatever you’re comfortable calling it.” He crouched down next to her. “I should have never snapped at you about calling it ‘the visitor’ I know how worried you are about having a miscarriage and that was a real shitty thing for me to do.” He rambled on. “I dunno Leia I just want you to bond with it and feel normal about all this instead of stressing out about it and I...”

“Han?” She cut him off. “Can you just shut up?” 

He cleared his throat. “Should I go?” 

She looked out the window. 

“You um, you want me to take Kira home?” 

She got that throat closing ache again. “Do what you want Han.” 

He sighed. “Leia look at me.” 

She rolled her eyes and looked at him. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” 

“What makes you think you hurt me Han? Remember me? Heart as cold as Hoth?” 

“I can see it all over your face Lei. This pregnancy has caused you to lose your Sabbac face.” 

She looked down at her lap and her eyes stung. 

He stood up and took her hand. “Let me take you home Lei.” He pulled her to her feet. “You’re tired and I hurt you and it’s late.” He slipped his arms around her. She let him fold her tightly against his chest. “I love you.” 

She nodded. “Jaina.” She spoke quietly. “I’ve been calling her Jaina.” 

“My mother’s name.” 

She nodded. 

He smiled. “I love that.” He spoke with his lips against her scalp. “And she would have loved that too.” 

Her desk comm buzzed breaking the quiet of the room. 

“I should probably get that.” She spoke against his chest. 

He nodded as it buzzed again. 

“Yes?” She answered her comm, her voice still shakier than she preferred it to be. 

“Your highness, we just had a transport land here and Luke Skywalker and his companion Wedge Antilles insist that they are here to visit you and Captain Solo.” 

Leia looked at Han. 

“You take Kira home and I’ll go pick up your brother.” 

“I wish he’d commed first.” 

“He’s always had a flair for the dramatic.” Han spoke watching Leia scoop Kira up into her arms.


	28. Skywalkers

Leia walked downstairs freshly showered and not as rested as she’d like to have been to face Luke for the first time since he’d blocked her and clearminded her three months before. After spending the entire day before upset at Han she was in no mood to hear excuses from Luke. She knew she couldn’t hide in her bedroom all day, even if she wanted to. 

Luke watched her as she walked into the kitchen. He watched her bypass the fresh caff he’d made. 

“Leia, I made caff.” He spoke watching her manually heat water. 

She nodded unwrapping a packet of bulk tea. She held it up as if to acknowledge him and loaded a cloth sachet with the dried leaves. 

“Leia...” He started but she cut him off by ducking into the concerverator to start breakfast. “Where are our Corellians?” 

Luke shrugged. “Wedge was gone when I got up.” 

She nodded. “Guess they want us to talk. Wherever they went, they took Kira with them.” She spoke pouring hot water into her mug from the Falcon and Luke wondered just how much of the Falcon was in this place. 

He nodded. “Look I...” 

She shook her head. “I don’t want to hear whatever excuse you’ve come up with for clearminding me for three months, so save it. Alright?” 

He nodded and watched her lean against the counter waiting for her tea to steep. 

“What did you think you were going to accomplish by making me worry about you for three months?” She spoke still not looking at him, still refusing to show him her eyes, not letting him see the hurt and the betrayal. “Because after forty standard days... I stopped caring. I didn’t need the stress.” 

(Knock it off). Leia shot back feeling him try to reach her through the force. (You haven’t earned back that privilege yet). 

(Sorry). 

“Just don’t fucking do it again. After the Death Star I don’t like anyone digging around in my mind without my permission, the last thing I need is you trying it.” She handed him a towel. “Your nose is bleeding.” 

He dabbed at his nose and looked at the blood she’d drawn and then back at her. “You’re stronger than you realize.” 

“No, I’m not. I know exactly how strong I am.” She sipped her tea. “You on the other hand, have no idea what you’re dealing with.” 

“How can you foster so much anger and not turn?” 

“I’m not the same kind of Jedi you are.” 

He nodded. “I think I’m closer to finding out where I came from.” 

Leia shook her head. “You spent three months trying to figure that out?” 

He nodded. “That’s where I’ve been.” 

Leia sighed. “You could have just asked.” 

“You know?” He leaned on the counter, eyes wide. 

She nodded turning to start breakfast as casually as she would have, had she just told him the ten day forecast for New Aldera City. “So you clearminded me so I wouldn’t try and talk you into going back to the Alliance?” 

He nodded. 

“Incredible.” She shook her head. 

“What?” 

“I’ve never met such a completely clueless Jedi.” 

“Well, I’ve never formally trained...” 

“Obviously.” 

“Oh, like you have?” 

“You know I have, just not to what extent.” 

“So you wouldn’t’ve tried to talk me in to meeting back up with the fleet?” 

“Do I look like I have any plans to meet back up with the fleet, Luke?” 

He shrugged. 

“This is our home Luke, here on New Alderaan. We’re raising Kira here and I’m taking over my father’s duties, why would I return to the fleet and risk my daughter’s life?” 

“You were willing to risk everything before.” 

“Things have changed.” She spoke. “It’s not just me anymore.” 

He nodded. “Kira.” 

She nodded. “I’m not the Chief Propaganda Minister for the Rebel Alliance, got it?” 

He nodded. “So what is it that you know?” 

“Everything.” 

“Why does it concern you where I came from?” 

“Luke.” She looked at him for the first time. “You’re my brother.” 

He stared at her. 

“We were hidden from our father on separate planets while he was made to believe that the three of us had died during our birth.” 

“The three of us?” 

“You and I and our mother.” 

He nodded. 

“Kenobi took you to Tatooine to live with our father’s brother and his wife. Bail and Breha took our mother and I to hide on Alderaan.” 

“You knew our mother?”

“Yes, but I wasn’t even allowed to know who she was.” 

“And she died with Alderaan.” Luke spoke with finality as he dragged his thumbnail across the countertop. 

“No Luke, she didn’t.” Leia shook her head. “She’s here on New Alderaan.” 

Luke looked at her, his clear blue eyes wide with hope. 

Leia sighed. “Our father is still alive as well.”

“Is he here?”

Leia shook her head and Luke felt her mood shift, felt her darken. 

“What?”

“Anakin Skywalker was a Jedi and our mother says he was a good man, but I’m not so sure about that. I’m certainly not inclined to find out and I don’t want you and your altruistic heart going looking either.” 

He furrowed his eyebrows at her. “Why not?”

“He fell Luke, to the dark side.” 

“No.” Luke’s eyes filled. “No, this is some sort of joke. Isn’t it?” 

Leia shook her head. “Luke, this isn’t the Rogue hangar.” 

“No!” Luke’s eyes flashed. “You’re lying. You’ve got to be!” 

Leia lost her breath feeling the visitor react to Luke’s despair and anger. She could feel her panic and she knew in that moment how careful Luke had to be with his emotions, with his anger. 

(Luke, stop). She reached out. (You’re like him, you have to watch your anger. You can turn. You can fall like he did, or you can be the powerful Jedi Knight that he should have been). 

Luke shook it off and let his anger ebb as he felt Leia turn her presence inward. (It’s alright). He watched press her hand against her stomach. (He won’t hurt us). He felt her again and then he felt it, a presence that wasn’t Leia, felt it’s panic and fear. (Do you feel her Luke)? 

Luke stared at her trying to wrap his mind around what he was witnessing. 

(She can feel you. Felt your anger). 

(I’m sorry). 

Leia nodded and he felt the presence relax into a sort of sleep and Leia close their connection. 

“Does Han know?” 

“Of course Han knows. I’m surprised he didn’t slip and tell you on the way in last night. He’s been puffed up like a Xilchoti game cock for months.” 

Luke laughed at the image of Han handing strangers cigarras like on the holos he’d seen as a child. 

“We were told it wasn’t possible, not after the Death Star, but military medics don’t know everything and they certainly know very little about the resilience of the human female reproductive system.” 

Luke made a face. 

“I know, you’re gay and it’s icky.” Leia laughed. 

“No, you’re my sister. There are certain mysteries that I’d like to keep. I know you were tortured on the Death Star Leia, I just didn’t realize to what extent.” 

She nodded remembering the lengths she and Han had gone to, to hide certain details from Luke. 

“I remember that you and Han were off base for months.” 

She nodded. “I wasn’t ready to be on base and he was trying to find someone to fix the damage I suffered from the force lightning.” 

“I’d forgotten that you survived force lightning.” 

“And our father just stood by and watched the Emperor strike. So, excuse me if I disagree with our mother.” She turned her back to him and raised her shirt revealing the intricate scaring that remained. 

“Gods.” 

“It short circuited my body’s neurological system.” 

“But he found someone to help you. You’re recovered?” 

She shook her head. “No, it’s still bad. I have good days and I have days that I can’t get out of bed. It’s never been safe for me to be on base long term. If I’d have been there during the invasion bedridden in my quarters...” She shook her head. 

“Is that why you stayed on the Falcon with Han? You know, so you could escape easily regardless?” 

She shook her head. “No, but that would have been a great excuse to use with High Command.” She blushed a little. 

“You and Han have been together from the very beginning, haven’t you?” 

“No one else stood a chance.” 

“I saw the look on your face when he ran headlong into that corridor screaming like he was going to taken on the entire base.” 

She blushed at Luke’s accuracy and Luke laughed. 

“Leia?” 

She looked at him. 

“Do you think our mother wants to meet me?” Luke spoke and Leia could feel his insecurity. 

“Of course she does, you’re her son.” Leia leaned against the counter. “She’s loved you this entire time, since before your were born.” 

“How do you know?” 

“Raising Kira and now this pregnancy has given me a unique perspective on certain things, the unconditional love of a mother and her child is one of them.”


	29. Uncles

Luke watched Leia with Kira. He’d been gone so much that he’d really missed out on seeing the two of them together. He’d seen them together early on, just after they’d found her back on Corellia, but it had been almost a year since then. He couldn’t believe it had been so long and yet it felt as though she’d always been with them. He never thought watching Leia parent a three year old would seem completely normal and in no way out of the ordinary, but as he sat watching the two of them interact it seemed like the most mundane thing in the world.

“So, where is Han?” Wedge spoke watching Leia keep a eye on Kira as she worked from home. 

“At work I imagine Wedge, we didn’t know you were coming.” 

“What does he do?”

“He is an administrator at the New Aldera Children’s Home.”

“An orphanage?” 

Leia nodded pausing to press her hand against her stomach. 

“Leia?” Luke spoke with concern in his voice. “You alright?” 

She nodded. “Sometimes I get little flashes of—distress, like she’s dreaming or having a nightmare. I don’t know what she could possibly be dreaming about in there. I guess maybe she can feel and hear things.” 

Luke watched as Kira stopped playing and picked up a stuffed animal, reacting as if she’d felt it too. “Here.” She set the soft toy in Leia’s lap and leaned against Leia to press her tiny hand next to her mother’s. 

“That’s very sweet of you loved.” Leia spoke smoothing Kira’s hair. 

“She’s better now mumma.” Kira spoke very seriously. 

“Thank you sweet girl.” Leia spoke kissing her forehead. 

“They’re really connected, aren’t they?” 

Leia nodded. “Kira knew before I did.” She spoke watching Kira return to her toys. “She followed me around for a couple of weeks saying that there was someone here to visit. It was really starting to freak me out until Han suggested I take a pregnancy test.” 

“Is she yours?” Luke asked quietly, knowing that Wedge and the rest of the strike team had found Kira’s records at the clone base. 

She nodded. “It never really mattered, but she is.” 

Kira stood up. “Mumma.” 

“Yes?” Leia looked from Luke to her. 

“Daddy’s almost here.” 

“Is he?” 

She nodded. 

Leia looked at her chrono. “Aunt Celly must have let him leave early.” 

Kira nodded climbing up on the couch between Leia and Luke. 

“Careful, baby.” Leia spoke watching her stand on between them and peer over the back of the couch at the front door. 

“Do you work from home a lot?” Wedge spoke watching Leia go back to work. 

“No, in fact I’m in my office so much that Kira has a sleeping couch there.” She spoke not looking up from her data pad. 

“What do you do?” 

“I’ve taken over for my father. No, no that’s not accurate. His second and I have taken over for him. I couldn’t do it alone and neither could he.” She looked at Luke. “Oh, speaking of which, Ami’s coming over for dinner.” 

“Who’s Ami?” Luke spoke watching Kira. 

“My father’s second.” Leia made a decision not to tell him anything other than basic information, he seemed nervous enough. 

“So, a working dinner?” Wedge spoke knowingly as if he’d discovered the real Leia under this new more relaxed version. 

“No.” She spoke as Kira curled up in her lap. “Ami’s family, she’s been around since before I was born. We might talk about work, but I’m only working from home because you and Luke are here.” 

“Mumma?” 

“Yes, baby?” 

“My sister is sleeping.” 

“Hmm.” Leia spoke reaching out with the force. “She sure is loved, that’s very perceptive of you.” 

“I love my sister.” 

Leia kissed the top of her head. “That’s sweet of you, baby.” 

“Mama, Maria says that I’ll get tired of her, but I—I say she wrong.” 

“Does your friend Maria have a little sister?” 

Kira nodded. “She say, she annoy her.” 

“I think that’s probably normal sometimes, your aunt Winter used to annoy me quite a bit.” 

“And I’m sure I annoy your mama all the time.” Luke spoke up. 

Leia nodded. “But we still love each other, even when we make each other really angry.” 

Luke nodded. 

“Okay.” Kira conceded. 

“Are you looking forward to being a big sister?” Wedge asked her. 

She nodded. 

“Does your sister have a name?” 

“Jaina.” Kira spoke rubbing her eyes. 

“That’s pretty.” 

She nodded snuggling up close to Leia. 

“It was Han’s mother’s name.” She spoke absently running her fingers through Kira’s hair. “It’s way past your nap time sweetheart.” 

“Want to wait on daddy.” 

“I could send daddy in as soon as he gets home.” 

“Okay.” 

“Come on bitsy.” Leia spoke holding her close to her chest as she stood up. “Say ‘goodnight’ to uncle Luke and uncle Wedge.” 

“Night uncle Luke.” 

“Goodnight Kira.” 

“Night uncle Wedginald.” 

Wedge laughed. “Did your daddy teach you that?” 

She smiled at him and buried her face against Leia’s neck. 

“Rascal.” Wedge laughed. 

Leia smiled at him. 

“Am I wrong?” Wedge spoke after Leia was out of earshot. “Different, am I right?” 

Luke nodded. “She was herself this morning when she was mad at me for clearminding her. “. 

“She’s so different here.” 

Luke nodded. 

“So, she’s your sister.” 

“Twin sister.” Luke corrected. 

“Wild.” 

He nodded. “Apparently our mother is still living and here.” 

“I’d bet it’s Ami.” Wedge spoke knowingly. “It would make sense that she’d be coming over for dinner.” 

Luke nodded. 

“Nervous.” 

He nodded. “Leia is different enough that it’s throwing me off.” 

Wedge slipped his arm around him. “Han’s different too. It’s so odd to see him in a suit.” 

“He couldn’t have always been a smuggler.” 

“He wasn’t.” Luke pointed toward some of the more intricate details in the woodwork. “He was a carpenter until his family was killed by a rebel extremist.” 

“Gods, that’s why he won’t enlist.” 

“It was about five years before Yavin.” Luke spoke wondering if Wedge remembered hearing about it. 

“Where?”

“Laubwald Stadt.” 

“I remember that. That was horrible. I remember that the husband of one of the victims saved like twenty people while he was looking for her.” 

“Her and their daughter.” Luke corrected. “That’s how Han earned his bloodstripes.” 

“Oh, that’s so sad.” 

Luke nodded curling up with Wedge, feeling the weight of Han’s sorrow as he told Wedge his story. 

“So, that’s what he’s been running from all these years.” Wedge spoke running his fingers through Luke’s hair. 

“From what Leia told me, yeah.” 

“I guess it makes sense then.” 

“What?” Luke looked up at him. 

“That he and Leia would agree to raise Kira.” 

Luke nodded.

“You alright, farm boy?” Wedge spoke gently, holding him a little tighter. 

He nodded. “I could feel Han’s sadness on Corellia, his loss was so palpable. I’m glad they came here. It was so hard for him to be in that house that he built for his wife.” 

Wedge nodded. “He’s Your best friend.” 

Luke nodded. 

“Your brother, you know?”

He nodded twining his fingers with Wedge’s. 

“You alright being here?” 

“I think so.” 

Wedge kissed his temple. “So.” He spoke, changing the subject. “What do you think about this pregnancy business, do you think it was on purpose?” 

“I think so, it’s not like I asked, and it’s not like she offered.”

“I’m going to ask her.” 

“I’m sure you are.” 

“Ask me what?” Leia spoke walking downstairs rubbing her stomach gently. 

“Is everything alright?” Luke spoke up. 

Leia nodded.

“Is she moving?” He spoke watching her. 

“I suppose she probably is.” Leia shrugged. “It’s to early to physically feel it, but she’s definitely awake.” 

“So, are you worried that she’ll cause a disturbance in the force or something?” Wedge spoke up. 

Leia shook her head. “I’m prepared for that, just as I have been with Kira.” She stayed standing.

“What is it?” Luke spoke watching her. 

“Han’s home.” 

“I gotta ask.” Wedge looked at her. “I mean, honestly—was this planned? I mean...” 

“We’re we trying?” 

“Well, yeah.” 

“Han and I are both very well versed in all available forms of contraception. So, yes Wedginald, this...” she gestured to her stomach. “Was planned.”


	30. The Pool

“You’re home early.” Leia spoke watching Han unfasten the layers of traditional Alderaani dress clothes he’d started wearing since taking a more administrative role at the orphanage. 

“Mmm.” He grunted reaching under his arm to unfasten his heavy overshirt. 

“Are you letting it bother you that Wedge laughed at you for dressing this way?” 

He shrugged. 

“It’s Wedge.” She spoke simply, shrugging as she walked toward him. “What do you really expect? He doesn’t know when to be serious. He’s a pilot, he risks his life constantly it’s how he’s wired.” She reached up and slipped her arms around his neck. “I remember when everything was a joke to you too.” 

Han slipped an arm around her waist and stared into her eyes. 

“He doesn’t know that you’re not the same man he knows, Han. He’s never really met you. He’s met the smuggler that helped blow the Death Star and was just in it for the money.” 

He kissed her gently. 

“I know that wasn’t you, but no one else does—not even Luke.” 

He nodded. 

“Besides, you dress like this because you’re working with Alderaani families during their most vulnerable moments. It puts them at ease to see that the Corellian their Princess brought home is one of them.” 

“And you think it’s sexy.” 

She smiled at him. “There is that.” 

He smiled at her. 

“Ami’s coming over for dinner.” Leia spoke letting him get back to changing clothes. 

“Good, does Luke know?” 

“Who she is, or that she’s coming over?” 

He raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t tell him.” 

She shook her head sitting down on their bed. 

He nodded. 

“And I’ve told her that I haven’t told him.” 

“I guess it’s best not to overwhelm him.” 

She nodded. “I talked to Carlist today.” She spoke watching him pull on a more casual pair of pants. 

“Oh, great. What did he want?” He looked up from buttoning his shirt. 

“I asked a favor of him last year.” She spoke patting the bed next to her. “I’m not sure I ever mentioned it to you.” 

“What do we owe him?” Han spoke sitting down with her. 

“Nothing.” 

Han nodded. 

Leia took his hand. 

“What is it, sweetheart?” 

“Jabba.” 

He looked down at his lap. Kriff, he’d forgotten to pay Jabba. “Oh Leia, I—I...” He thought of Kira and of all of New Alderaan; Leia and her family and the orphans and the baby. They were all in danger and he’d just totally put it out of his mind this entire time. He shook loose from her grip and held his head in his hands. “Gods, I fucked up.” 

Leia rubbed his back. “Han...”

“I’m a dead man.” His voice shook as he thought about everything he was going to lose, everything he’d already lost. “I have to face him to protect you...”

“It’s been taken care of.” 

He looked at her. 

“I asked Carlist to handle it.” She wiped his eyes. “It’s done.” 

He just stared at her. 

“It’s over.” 

“Was anyone hurt?” 

“Air strike, took out the entire syndicate.” 

He took her face in his hands and kissed her. “Let’s get married.” 

“Han...”

“I’m serious. Your brother is here and his boyfriend and Kira is old enough to participate. I mean you’re not showing so much that you couldn’t find a nice dress.” 

She sighed. “I don’t want a big fuss.” 

“Neither do I princess, but now’s the time.” He stroked her cheek. “Come on Lei.” 

She nodded a nod of concession. “Alright, hotshot.” 

“Yeah?” 

She nodded. “You’ve worn me down.” 

“You tryin’ to keep your options open?” 

She laughed. “No, no. I just never planned to get married. Never wanted to be that kind of princess.” 

“Well, I’m no prince.” 

She smiled at him. “I know.” 

“So.” Leia spoke prepping dinner for six. “Who made the most money off of Han and I?” 

Wedge shrugged. “Ah well... I don’t know.”

“Don’t play coy with me Antilles, I know what you and the rest of the Rogues were up to. The betting pool Commander, don’t think I didn’t see Jansen’s holoplay posters around the base from time to time.”

“You saw those, did you?” He spoke examining the inlays on the countertop of the eat-in bar. 

She nodded. 

Wedge scratched the back of his head moodily. “It was harmless fun.”

“At the expense of your commanding officer?” 

“Expense?” 

“Do you have any idea how difficult it is to be taken seriously when the entirety of the Rogue Squadron and more than half of the Rebel Alliance is betting on your romantic exploits and perceived sexual activities?” 

“We all respect the hell out of you Leia, that betting pool didn’t change that.” 

“Oh? How do you think it made the other female sentient feel to see their female commander’s sexual exploits?”

“Ah come on.” 

She sighed. “Never mind.” She went back to meticulously chopping fresh herbs. 

“Leia...”

“Listen, I’ve said my piece. I’ve gotten it off my chest. I’m not going to fight with my brother’s boyfriend in my own home. I think it was far from innocent and wrong and as their leader you should have put a stop to it.” 

“Leia if you’d’ve...”

“That’s just it, I shouldn’t have had to do anything for it to stop.” 

Wedge sighed. “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were hurt by it.”

“Oh no.” She laughed incredulously. “I wasn’t hurt, this has nothing to do with feelings or fragility or being over sensitive because I’m a woman...”

“I’m making it worse.” 

“Finally a little perception from Rogue Leader, your mother would be proud.” 

“Leia...”

Han walked up and gripped Leia’s shoulders gently, kissing her neck before ducking into the conserverator for an ale. 

“Han...” Wedge started. 

“Wait a minute.” Han spoke not liking the pleading tone of Wedge’s voice as he set a bottle of geyser on the counter. “Wedge, if you think my job is to ‘rein in my woman’, you’re way out in the Outer Rim.” He spoke as Leia watched him mix her a refresca di limon. “Leia’s her own woman, and I ain’t that kind of guy. I wasn’t with Sulen, and I sure ain’t with Leia.” He set the drink in front of her. “Besides, I agree with her, always have.” 

“Of course you do, you have to don’t you? I mean, I have to agree with Luke on things too.” He winked. 

Han sighed squeezing the bridge of his nose, wishing Wedge’s instincts about keeping his mouth shut were as good as his instincts about flying. He shook his head and put away the geyser and citrus. 

“Han is not obligated to agree with me just because we’re in a relationship.” Leia let her fist come down hard on the countertop sending electric shocks shooting up her arm. “Your little betting pool was hurtful and undermined my ability to lead.”

“Oh it did not!” He shot back. “No one ever thought less of you just because you and Han were fucking! That’s absurd! Is that why you left? Because you thought you’re leadership was undermined by your relationship with Han!”

“We left because it wasn’t safe for a force sensitive child to be on base! I left because we needed to take Kira somewhere safe, somewhere she’d be protected. She was an Imperial asset Wedge, they’re looking for her and I will do anything I have to, to keep her safe.”

“Even abandon your rebellion?”

“I didn’t abandon anything.” She spoke through her teeth. “Han and I made a decision and it was the right decision for everyone involved.” 

“Wedge, knock it off.” Han shot back. “We’re all family here and you and Luke are guests in our home. If Leia feels that your stupid pool was hurtful to her professionally she has a right to feel that way and a right to ask for your apology. You don’t have a right to invalidate her feelings. You can disagree with her but you don’t get to make her feel invalid.” 

Leia turned on Han. “I don’t need you to defend me.” 

Han raised his hands. 

“Wedge, I have nothing to say to you. So, I’m walking away. Han, I’m going to check on Kira, she’s way too perceptive.”

“Want me to do anything?” 

She shrugged. “I don’t know Han, start dinner... explain male privilege to Wedginald here.” She gestured to Wedge as she walked off. 

Luke looked at her apologetically as she walked by. 

“Your boyfriend is a real charmer, farm boy.” 

“You’re wrong.” Han spoke cooly. “And you need to apologize to her. That little betting pool really bothered her and it definitely went too far. I hope you fellas donated all the money to the cause, because whoever won, won at her expense. You weren’t behind closed doors with her and High Command when they begged her to stay a virgin so that they could use her body as a fucking peace treaty. You have no idea the sort of sexist bantha shit she’s been subjected to over the years. And then to find out that her friends, people she thought saw her as an equal were betting on whether or not I could fuck her. That hurt her and it impacted her reputation before High Command.” 

Wedge look at him. “I didn’t realize.” 

Han shook his head. “She’s a woman Wedge, it’s a thousand times harder for a woman to get the respect they deserve. Your betting pool just compounded things.”


	31. Dreams

Han jogged upstairs to check on Leia. He stopped at the landing and listened for a moment, and then he heard her singing quietly from their sleeping quarters. 

“Lei?” He leaned against the open door. 

“There’s daddy.” Leia spoke gently holding Kira tight to her chest. 

“She alright?” He spoke moving further into the room. 

Leia shook head. 

“Nightmare?” He spoke quietly crawling into the bed with them. 

Leia nodded. “V-a-d-e-r.” 

“She throw up.” Han spoke sniffing the air. 

Leia nodded. 

“Leia.” He spoke gently gathering them both into his arms. “We’ve got to figure out a way to get her to let you start helping her with the force.” 

Leia nodded. “Dr. Fulmar says that she has an ulcer.” 

Han sighed. “Maybe start meditating with her in your lap. I don’t know, let her come to you—you know, in the force.” He stroked her hair gently. “You gotta trust us, baby.” 

“Daddy.” 

“S’alright bitsy.” He soothed. “We got you princess, you’re safe.” 

“Han, can you run a bath?” 

He nodded. “Gotcha, didn’t she?” 

Leia nodded. “Got us both, I need to strip the bed.” 

“I’ll take care of it.” 

“She was just so scared Han.”

“Where’s Leia?” Luke spoke as Han walked through carrying their bedding down to the autovalet in the basement. 

Han shook his head, not quite ready to talk to Luke and disappeared down the hall. 

“Han.” Luke spoke stepping in front of him, physically stopping him as he walked back through the lounge. “What’s going on?” 

Han sighed. “Kira’s had a night terror, bad one. On par with one of Leia’s.” 

“You want me to...” Luke started. 

“No.” Han spoke gruffly. “I don’t. She’s not up for that. Leia’s got her, she’s alright.” 

“Is it because Leia was so upset?” 

“Dunno Luke, it was about Vader coming and taking her from us.” He shrugged. “It’s her biggest fear and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. Nothing I can say, nothing I can build, nothing. Kid’s still fuckin’ terrified.” He rubbed the back of his head. “Has a godsdamned ulcer.”

“Han, I’m sorry.” 

He shrugged. “Yeah, me too. S’real hard to watch her suffer and know that I can’t help her and she fights Leia she’s so terrified of the force.” He sighed. “We gotta good life here Luke, but coming here didn’t solve all our problems.” 

Luke nodded. 

“I need to help Leia, you and rocket man over there know how to cook?” 

“I um...”

“I’ll make something Corellian.” Wedge got up. “Something my mum used to make.” 

Han nodded. “Go help him farm boy, learn a new skill, even your sister can cook.” 

Han put fresh linens on their bed and let himself into their ensuite fresher where the smell of lavender hung lightly in the air and mixed with the starflower scented shampoo that Leia washed Kira’s hair with. “Hey, bitsy.” He spoke crouching down next to the bathing tub. “You feeling better?” 

She nodded still curled so close to Leia’s chest, thumb in her mouth, eyes ringed with red, but responsive and alert. 

“How ‘bout you, princess.” He looked at Leia holding the baby, so grown up over the last year, but still their baby girl, in the warm soothing water, skin to skin. “You alright?” 

She smiled a little but the uncertainty was still readable in her eyes. 

“We’ll figure it out.” 

She reached out and slipped her arm around his shoulders, soaking his shirt in the process and pulling him close, burying her face against his neck. He sighed holding her trying to reassure her even though he had no idea what they were going to do about Kira’s night terrors. 

“I love you.” He spoke quietly. “Both of you, we’ll figure it out. I promise.” 

“I’ll kill him if I have to.” Leia whispered. 

“That’s going to have to wait.” 

She nodded. “What do we do until then, Han?” 

“Love her.” He cupped the back of Kira’s head. “Make sure she knows that we’ll always be here.” 

“You wanna call Ami and cancel?” Han murmured not wanting to be overheard as he sat down with Leia in the lounge. 

“No.” She spoke quietly holding Kira protectively close cradled in her arms, almost like a baby wrapped in the first blanket Han had ever bought for her. It was thin and soft with wear, but still her favorite comfort. “We’re just fine, we’re just spending some time being close.” 

Han sighed lifting the edge of the blanket up to peek at Kira underneath. “Hey, bitsy.” 

“Hi daddy.” 

“You okay under there?” 

“Uh huh.” 

“You keeping mommy company?” 

She nodded. 

“See, she’s okay.” Leia reassured him, running her fingers through his hair. 

“I guess so, somewhat.” 

“I think it’s important that we behave as if everything is just fine. For her sake, so she feels normal, like it’s not a big deal.” 

Han nodded. 

“She needs a little more than usual sometimes.” 

“Well, anything for my princesses.” He kissed Leia gently. 

“You mind bringing me a drink, hotshot?” 

“Nope, bitsy? You thirsty?” 

The blanket nodded. 

“Chocolate milk?” 

“Please daddy.” She pulled the blanket down and looked at him with big brown eyes so much like her mother’s. 

Han smiled getting up. “Yes, Your Highnessness.” He bowed. 

Kira giggled.   
“He looks so much like Anakin.” Ami spoke watching Luke interact with Wedge and Han as the Corellians played a lazy Sabacc game to decide who cleaned up. 

“Funny.” Leia spoke wryly. “I never would have figured Vader for a blue eyed blond, but I suppose it goes well with his whole ethnic cleansing thing.” 

Ami looked at Leia. “You’re horrible.” She spoke as Leia’s shoulders shook and she bowed her head against Ami’s shoulder in silent laughter. 

“Oh come on.” Leia struggled. “Vader looks like Luke. The absurdity of it all.” 

Ami started to feel her composure slip at Leia’s keen observation of the absurd. “Gods.” She managed. 

“Vader looks like a Spiraian surfer bum.” Leia spoke as Ami folded against her overcome with ghoulishly inappropriate laughter. “The monster in my nightmares is a fucking surfer bum.” 

“Wonder what’s so funny over there.” Han inclined his head toward Leia and Ami. 

Luke shrugged. “Do all Alderaanian women look so much alike?” 

Han shrugged. “Neither of those women are Alderaani, technically.” Han spoke as Leia whispered something to Ami and Ami looked at Luke and nodded. 

“Wedge thought she might be our mother, she looks too young. I mean, uncle Owen and aunt Beru always seemed so much older.”

“My adopted ma is old enough to be my grandmother ‘cause my ma was so young when she had me.” Han spoke watching Leia take Ami’s hand as Ami’s body language changed—watched her nod stiffly at something Leia had whispered and he knew what was coming next. 

“Luke.” Leia called from the lounge. 

“So.” Wedge spoke once Luke was out of earshot. “She’s their ma, isn’t she?” 

Han nodded. 

“Good, he needs family.” 

“Leia finding her family alive has really helped her move forward from the Death Star.” 

“How are her night terrors?” 

“They’re still there, but they’re better.” 

“Luke says Kira has them.” 

Han nodded watching Leia walk toward them with Kira on her hip. “Stays real close to Leia and me for a couple days after. She’s so afraid that V-a-d-e-r is going to take her from us.” 

“She’s a neat kid.” Wedge spoke watching Kira peer at them from her place, curled tightly against Leia’s side. Her brown eyes so much like her mother’s with that same haunted look Leia’s had for months after the Death Star. 

Han nodded. “Want me to take her for a while?” He spoke knowing Leia’s back would be killing her after carrying Kira around for most of the day, her old wounds just as painful as ever. 

She nodded. 

“C’mere bitsy.” Han took her from Leia and held her close to his chest. 

“Daddy.” 

“S’matter princess?” 

“My tummy hurts.” 

“Like you’re gonna be sick hurts?” 

She shook her head. “Pointy.” 

“Hmm.” He rubbed her back. “M’sorry sweetheart.” 

Leia sighed taking a bottle of medication out of the conserverator. She’d had an ulcer as a child as well and she could taste the viscous while liquid just seeing the bottle again after all these years. 

Kira made a face and buried her face in Han’s chest. 

Wedge let himself fade into the background watching Han and Leia turn into Kira’s mommy and daddy right in front of him. 

“No.” Kira whimpered watching Leia pour out a dose. “No, mommy.” 

Han leaned against the counter. “Bitsy.” He spoken gently, yet firmly. 

“No, daddy.” 

“Look at me.” 

She leaned back in his arms and looked at him with a look that was pure Leia. “I don’t want it daddy.” 

“I know baby, but you gotta take it to get better. You don’t want your tummy to hurt forever, do you?” 

She shook her head. “No, daddy.”

Leia watched Ami hold Luke in her arms as Han negotiated with Kira. 

“I’d never ask you to do something that would hurt you, y’know that huh?” 

She nodded. 

“I love you very much and so does your mama.” 

She nodded. 

“Just want you to get better.” He spoke taking the dose from Leia and held it up to her lips. “Just get it over with, you’ll feel better.” 

Kira sighed and took her medicine. She groaned at the taste and feel of it and swallowed hard burying her face against his neck. 

“Hate seein’ you hurtin’ bits, it tears my heart out.” He spoke gently he slipped his arm around Leia and pulled her in close to his side. 

“We’ll figure this out.” Leia spoke gently, rubbing her back. “I promise.” 

Leia watched Ami hold Luke like a child, like her little boy as he cried arms tight around her waist, head under her chin. Leia may have lost an entire world, but Luke had really lost everyone he’d ever loved; Owen and Beru, Obi Wan, Biggs Darklighter who he’d confessed to her he’d fallen in love with long before the Rebellion and now he was meeting his mother, their mother—Leia could feel it all hit him at once. 

“Han.” She spoke gently. “You got this?” 

He nodded kissing the top of Kira’s head and watching Leia join her family, a family he never thought she’d have. 

Ami smiled at her as she sat down with them. “Is she okay?” 

Leia nodded. “My four year old has an ulcer.” She looked at her hands. “Just like I did when I was her age.” She shook her head. “She even takes the same medication.” 

“I remember your ulcer, and the night terrors that caused it.” 

Leia looked at her, she didn’t remember the night terrors. 

“You had horrible night terrors as a small child, don’t you remember?” 

Leia shook her head and noticed Han listening with interest out of the corner of her eye. “What were they about?” 

“Vader, you were terrified that he would find you. It’s like you knew, even then that he was your father, even though you had no idea consciously. I think the force must have known—there must have been a connection, subconsciously. I think all of you Skywalkers are somehow connected through the force.” 

“I used to have nightmares about a man in a black mask coming and killing Owen and Beru and taking me away.” Luke spoke sitting up. “Is that what Kira dreams about?” 

Leia nodded. 

“And that’s what you dreamt as well, Leia.” 

“We have to kill him.” Leia spoke. “Don’t we?” 

Luke nodded. “Not until you’ve had the baby.” 

“Not until you’ve trained under a Jedi Master.” Leia countered. 

“I’d love to.” He shrugged. “When do we start?” 

“I’m no Jedi Master.” Leia shook her head. “I can get you started.”

“You spent a very long time training with Ferus, Leia you’re probably closer to a Master than you realize.” Ami spoke up. “I know modesty is one of the tenets of the Jedi, but I’m sure you could train Luke to fight, if not anything else.” 

“I wouldn’t be comfortable, he needs to learn how to deal with his emotions first.” 

Luke sat up. “Are there any Jedi Masters left now that Ben is gone?” 

“Ferus?” 

Ami shrugged. “It’s rumored that Ferus evacuated, but no one is sure where she ended up.” 

“I was afraid of that.” Leia turned quiet and introspective, thinking of her lost Master. 

“Have you tried reaching out to her?” 

Leia shook her head. 

”Maybe you should.” Ami looked past Leia to where Han stood in the archway between the lounge and the kitchen with Kira cradled in his arms. “Maybe she could help Kira.”


	32. Domesticity

Han looked up from the building proposal he was working on and watched Leia comb out her hair, it had grown long again in the months since she’d first cut it. She looked beautiful either way, but there was something magical about her long hair for Han. He figured it had to do with the mystery of seeing it down and the traditions that went along with an Alderaani woman’s hair. He could tell she was tired, between taking over for her father full time, Luke and Wedge visiting and the complications that their unexpected arrival caused, Kira’s night terrors and all of the changes her body was going through, he wondered how she was holding it all together. She smiled at him as she joined him in bed with her datapad. She had some briefs to read for the next day’s agenda but she figured she could at least be comfortable. 

“Alright, princess?” Han spoke pressing his lips against her temple and slipping his arm around her absently as they settled into their familiar working in bed positions. 

She nodded. “Tired.” She spoke yawning. 

“I can tell.” 

“I don’t remember Wedge and Luke wearing me out this much, before.” 

Han chuckled. “That’s because they didn’t.” 

Leia shook her head. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” 

“You have a three year old, Lei.” 

“She’s not difficult Han, she just likes to be close.” 

“Leia, she clings to you.” 

She nodded. “And her nightmares take a lot out of me. I’ve got to figure out a way to make her understand that we won’t let Vader take her from us.” 

Han nodded watching her rest her hand against the curve of her belly. “She okay in there?” 

Leia nodded looking down at her hand. “She’s awake.” 

Han pressed his hand next to hers. “I always wondered if Fane knew me, you know, like my voice back when Sulen was pregnant.” 

Leia shrugged. “I don’t know about Fane, but Jaina does.” 

“Yeah?” 

Leia nodded. 

“This okay?” He spoke referring to his hand. 

She nodded. 

“S’nice to see you relax about it. It was so hard to watch you spend so much time afraid to connect with her. Now I catch you rubbing your belly all the time and you talk to her.” 

Leia sighed. 

“S’matter princess?” 

She shook her head trying to shake off the tears that were starting to form. 

“What is it sweetheart?” 

“I wish that I had the safe sort of force connection to Kira, from the very beginning of her life, like I do with Jaina. I wish she trusted me with the force like Jaina already does.” 

“It’s only been a year Lei, it’s gonna take time.” He laced his fingers with hers. “She’s doing real good most of the time. She’s still a baby, she can’t rationalize even with the force. She just knows she’s got these scary memories and she don’t know where they came from, but she does know they could take her. S’alright for her to be scared Lei. He’s a monster, he’s even a monster to you.”

“But she came from me, and I can’t help her.” 

Han sighed and pulled her into his arms. “We’ll figure it out, just gonna take time. I promise you, she trusts you, you’re her mama and she knows that. We don’t know what she was subjected to before.” 

Leia shuddered in his arms thinking of how terrified she’d been during her time on the Death Star. 

“She finally lets you in there.” He pressed his finger to her temple. “You’re gonna see it and I don’t think you flinchin’ s’gonna do her any good.” 

Leia nodded and moved to curl up against his chest. “I wish I’d known her from the very beginning.” 

“Like carried her?” Han stroked her hair gently. 

She nodded against his chest. “I feel like if she knew me the way Jaina will, she’d trust me more.” 

“You mean you’d’ve cooperated?” 

“Probably not, but if I knew somehow that’d have her with me now, I might have.” 

Han sighed feeling her tears against his skin. She wasn’t anymore emotional than usual, but pregnancy had made it easier for her to cry. He pressed his lips against the crown of her head, just letting her process and feel, not rushing to tell her how she felt or how she should feel. His heart breaking for her. 

“Or if I’d just known she was there, we could have taken her with us.” 

“You were nineteen.” 

She sighed. 

“You know, you can beat yourself up all you want, princess but you can’t go back and change any of it.” He held her closer. “All you can do is move forward.” 

“I think I’m just tired.” 

“S’alright.” Han spoke moving their datapads to his nights stand. “I’m done working for the night. You?” 

She nodded. 

“I think you should work from home again tomorrow.” 

“I can’t.” She yawned against his chest. “Don’t think I want to. I need a break from the Luke and Wedge show.”

“The boys will calm down. They’re just not used to this us. I think once they realize how different we actually are, they’ll adjust.” 

Leia kissed his chin. “Maybe it’s time you let them see you, you know the real you?” 

Han nodded. 

“I think it might help.” She kissed him, there was a chasteness to it an, I’m going to sleep now-ness to it. “It certainly might keep Wedge from laughing at you dressed like and Alderaanian man.” She curled up under the soft blankets, still not sure how they ended up living in a house that Han had build for her, when just the year before they’d been running from have to base with the rebellion. She felt Han lie down next to her and moved to rest her head against his shoulder. 

“Alright princess?” He spoke gently. 

She nodded. “Are you happy here?” 

He nodded. “Course m’happy Leia. Never thought I’d ever have something like this again. Thought that when I lost Sulen and Fane, that would be it. I’d lost my chance. Didn’t want to love anyone ever again. Fuck it, it hurt too bad to even think about. Then I met you, an’ thought maybe if we could survive the war and Jabba...” He trailed off finding her eyes in their darkened master suite. “You’re happy aren’t you?” 

She nodded. “Surprisingly.” 

“S’that mean? Surprisingly.” 

“I never thought of this for my life.” 

“What, taking over for your dad?” 

“Domesticity.” 

“You can tell yourself that all you want, but I remember how devastated you were when you were told by that medic on Yavin that you wouldn’t be able to have children.” 

She sat up and hugged her knees and rested her head against them. 

“Lei?” Han spoke moving with her, recognizing the signs of imminent shut down. 

“What if I can’t? What if this doesn’t last?” 

“Leia.” He spoke gently, but firmly. “Everything is just fine. You’re in your second trimester, remember what Dr. Vinciente said? The first trimester is the highest risk, once you pass your third month, everything should be fine.” 

She nodded. 

“Remember how you lost that bad feeling a few weeks ago?” He reached out to press his hand against her back. “You started calling her Jaina without telling me cause you weren’t sure how I’d take it?” 

She looked at him. 

“If you didn’t think it was gonna work, you wouldn’t be naming her.” 

Leia swallowed hard looking away again. 

“Talk to me.” 

“What if I’m wrong?” 

“It’ll be alright.” 

“What do we tell Kira?” 

“That Jaina just wasn’t ready to meet us yet and that she’ll be ready someday.” 

“You already thought all this out?” 

He nodded. “Just in case you asked.” 

She looked at him. 

“S’gonna be just fine though.” 

“You can’t promise that.” 

“I can promise whatever I want sweetheart.” 

“You can’t possibly know that.” 

“I know you, and you wouldn’t be talking to her and rubbing your belly if you really thought you were going to lose her. Come on.” He coaxed her back into their normal sleeping position. “Let’s get some rest in case she wakes up in a few hours.” 

“Nice cape.” Wedge spoke as Han walked into the kitchen to make caff and start Leia’s tea. 

Luke shook his head and focused on his caff. 

“Why’re you dressing like Bail Organa? Leia think it’s sexy or something?” 

Han sighed taking the packed lunches Leia had made the evening before out of the conserverator and setting them with their respective work bags. “You know, if you boys are going to be up this early you could at least make breakfast.” 

“Looks like you’ve got it under control, dad.” Wedge spoke watching Han go through his regular routine, making breakfast for he and Leia and Kira

“Yeah?” He looked at Wedge. “I ain’t cooking for you and the farm boy. Leia’s got a full day, and I’ve got a meeting this morning. You wanna eat? Fix it yourself. I don’t have time to do it for you.” 

“Rough night?” Luke spoke gently. 

Han sighed. “Listen, this isn’t some military installation and this ain’t the Falcon, this is our home, alright? You two just dropped in without any notice, we have a lot going on right now; Leia’s taking over for Bail, Kira’s got an ulcer, I’m trying to get a proposal for a new wing for the orphanage passed, and your sister’s pregnant and nervous about it, farm boy. I don’t have time to entertain you with smuggler stories and Sabacc games.” 

“Ah come on Solo, lighten up.” Wedge cut in. 

“And you.” He pointed at him. “One more crack about my cape, and you’re sleeping in the hostel in town.” 

Leia walked downstairs with Kira on her hip. She was dressed for work and her hair was braided intricately, but she still looked somehow soft and tired, even with her makeup on. She looked at Wedge who was clearly in her chair, shook her head and sat down shifting Kira to her lap. 

“Lei?” Han looked at her. 

“I’m fine.” She spoke quietly. “I’m just tired, I didn’t sleep well.” 

“I think you should stay home.” 

She sighed. “M’fine Han, maybe you should stay home.” She spoke pointedly. 

“Okay.” He shrugged. “I’ll stay home, Bitsy’s not feeling good are you?” 

“Mmm Mmm.” She she shook her head. 

“Tummy ache?” 

She nodded. 

“You want to see your friends at day care?” 

She buried her face against Leia’s neck. 

“Han.” Leia sighed. 

“Let’s all play hooky. Ami will cover for you and Celly will cover for me. We can conference in if we have to. Work in pajamas.” He walked around the corner of the eat-in bar. “Put Bitsy down for a nap.” He rubbed her shoulders. “Send the boys out to see the sights, make a little time...”

Leia laughed. 

“Maybe spend some time planning that little wedding ceremony we talked about the other day.” 

“That’s all you hotshot, you’re planning all of that.” 

Wedge shot Luke a look that was all raised eyebrows. 

“Stay home with me.” He kissed her temple. “Come on Princess.” He spoke feeling her shiver just a bit. 

“Han...” She started as her sense of duty kicked in. 

“Leia.” 

“Mumma, don’t want to go to school.” 

“Do you see what you’ve done?” 

Han chuckled. “Bitsy and me are staying home either way.” He lifted bitsy off of Leia’s lap. “Huh, Bits?” 

She nodded hugging his neck and looking at Leia. 

“Kira...” She started. 

“Give her the eyes Bits.” Han spoke as he and Kira shot Leia the exact same look. 

“Gods, fuck, fine.” She spoke getting up. 

“Fuck.” Kira repeated. 

“Nice job, Princess.” Han spoke as Leia got up to change back into her around the house clothes. 

She flipped him off good naturedly. 

“Kira.” Han tapped his lips. “That’s not your word yet princess, you have to be a little older.” 

Wedge and Luke stifled laughter. 

“Sorry.” She spoke solemnly. “Won’t say fuck no more daddy.” 

“Okay.” Han set her down. “Go find mama so you can change.” He spoke trying to keep a straight face waiting to laugh until Kira was out of earshot.


End file.
